To think most people will be mostly single in future

[ladalover]

I was reading some articles about more women choosing to be, and men remaining single. It struck me that with financial needs and procreation decoupled from traditional longterm relationships, the future could see people essentially choosing a single life, having children through science or an arranged interaction and agreement, and that possibly singlehood for all or most of adult life will become normal.

Just a little bump

Single, with a cat & a network of friends. Heaven.

Yes, why not. Perhaps the era of hetero coupledom is over. There's no law saying you have to be in a relationship.

Sounds like a brave new world.

I accidentally supported YABU, however I really do love the era of singledom.

Its a major reason for population decline. People work to hard to keep up with the cost of living to meet people. Then when they do meet people they can’t afford / don’t have time for kids.

I don’t think so. I think most people seek a loving long term relationship. Whether they find it is a different story and some people end up permanently single because they don’t want to settle and quite right.

So if everyone had all of their box’s ticked in a partner, no I don’t think they’d chose to stay single.

I think it will happen for a time. Women are realising they no longer “need” men for financial support, but many men seem to be slow on the uptake here and still expect to treat a woman like it’s the 1950s and so are bringing very little of value to the table.

I think eventually though peoples desire for company will win out and men are going to stop thinking bringing in a salary is the be all and end all. I think it will be a few decades of wrangling though.

We’re gonna have robot companions/assistants.

It's hard enough to afford to rent or buy somewhere to live for young couples these days, let alone as a single person, and there will always be a drive towards relationships for sex, companionship and so on.

But I agree there is less incentive for women who are single in later life to want/need a full-time live-in partner.

I think it will be split. There’s a big push for conservative values and most cultures still favour marriage. So, probably not.

I don't know. I was very happily single for a long time. Genuinely loved the lifestyle and didn't feel the need for a partner, certainly didn't want to live with anyone.

Then I met a man and here we are. The instinct is still strong. Even more so, I imagine, if you're of an age where rearing children is relevant..

I will most likely be single for the rest of my life (I'm 41). I don't have time to go out and meet people, I not prepared to be anyone elses carer/chauffeur/cleaner/cook and online dating is an absolute cesspit of mummy's boys, cheaters and man children.
Men my age that are single want maids, not meaningful relationships.

Women are empowered now and realise they have a choice and can be independent. Men don't like it. Its going to take a couple of generations for attitudes to change I think.

Yabu, humans are pack animals essentially and do not thrive well in isolation.

And now here's where I get beat with sticks... but to summarise very briefly;

I personally feel that there is a correlation between increased singledom and the rise in poor mental health outcomes.

I am no way suggesting ypu can only be happy in a relationship by the way. Its a tad deeper than that.

(Running for cover...)

I think, with people living longer there should be a 25 year ' contract' instead of marriage till death as well as divorce, so once you reach 25 years you have to choose to extend or not.

I think it’s nice to be in a good relationship. So maybe people will be less picky about it and less pressure by timing - getting together because they like each other rather than having fertility or financial need.

In order to have a decent standard of living, dual income is a must for a lot of people.

So no, I don't think people will be single more often - quite the opposite, actually. I think people will stay in unhappy relationships rather than go back to live with their parents at 40 years old. I think DV will go through the roof and the mental health crisis will continue to escalate.

I do, however, think that people will have a lot less children.

Single 12 years no children good mates absolutely loved it totally blissful.
If i get bored which i dont i do coloring or make clothes for a babie.
Very therapeutic.
I love being selfish and doing what i like.
I live comfortably.
I dont need a man or kids what would either of them bring me.
Nothing but hassle and less money.

I don't accept your premise. Financial needs and procreation decoupled from long term relationships?

You'll have to prove that first.

I think later in life, ie after children, there will be more and more single women not looking to recouple. They've had enough of men's shit and have no desire to find themselves lumbered with a man who wants a cook/carer. There will also be a lot of single men desperate to get recoupled, being rejected by these single, older, solvent women. These might be the new market for the upcoming Andrew Tates of the future.

I think there may be a socio-economic divide where this plays out more in some groups than in others.

Many people choose to live together because it makes more economic sense to pool resources. It’s incredibly hard to pay housing costs out of one salary now unless you earn well, aren’t servicing debts and don’t have to pay childcare.

Despite the trope that it’s men who don’t want to settle down, it’s actually women who consistently seem happier single according to most research. Even now though, women tend to be financially much more vulnerable than men, mostly after having children.

I think we might see more women who are economically independent choosing to go it alone rather than saddle themselves with shit men, but a quick look at the relationships board shows you that even then an awful lot of women will put up with an awful lot of poor behaviour from men rather than be alone. In don’t blame them for this BTW - our society is geared up around perpetuating this.

Ultimately, human beings are social species and we pair bond. How long that can be maintained successfully is a matter for debate but most of us will find ourselves wanting human connection and making that connection with someone we see as a life partner (however poor that judgment) if we also want children.

Our society doesn’t really present or support alternatives to the pair bond. Yes single mums may be able to claim child maintenance and/or child care support and/or other benefits but they’re not a given and still associated with much stigma by far too many people. Women who have children deliberately when single are still often painted as selfish or pitiful (“couldn’t get a man”).

Possibly. I heard an expert say that AI could double the human lifespan in the next decade. And many serious scientists now believe radically extended lifespans are on the horizon. But people won’t be living to 150 or 160 in a crippled, broken body. We will be rejuvenating the body too, so people in their 80s and 90s look like 30-somethings.

Who knows whether all this will happen. But let’s say it does, just for argument’s sake. What will that mean for relationships?! One of the main reasons people form committed relationships is the hope that they’ll have love and support in old age. But what if old age is 150 years into the future instead of 40? When you think how hard relationships are, and how much fear, jealousy, boredom, irritation, etc, is involved, will people still want to commit? Will they still think it’s worth it?

There is the fact that children have been consistently proven to do better in two parent families.

42
Single for 20 years
2 dogs
Own my own home
Have a handful of close friends
No children and no desire for children

Love being able to do my own thing without having to worry about someone else. As a PP said I not prepared to be anyone elses carer/chauffeur/cleaner/cook and online dating is an absolute cesspit of mummy's boys, cheaters and man children.

I'd rather be single for the rest of my life than settle because being in a relationship is seen as the norm. I've seen too many people become miserable as sin because they're in a relationship just for the sake of it and don't know how to be single.

I don't think so. There's nothing wrong with being single and there's those that are happy to be. But equally there's nothing wrong with seeking a relationship and being happy with being in one and being married.

Not all men are useless, mummy's boys or have women dependent on them. I am in a relationship where we both earn good salaries and both share the housework, parenting load. I was brought up in a household where it similar and I'll be raising my own son to have these values.

I value my independence and having my own money. But I also like being part of a partnership and raising a child together.

What I think is great is that women now hopefully feel more freedom and less pressure in terms of this stereotypical way to live and they can live their lives how they want. There is no "right" way to live and what makes one person happy might be another person's nightmare.