To think most people will be mostly single in future

[ladalover]

I was reading some articles about more women choosing to be, and men remaining single. It struck me that with financial needs and procreation decoupled from traditional longterm relationships, the future could see people essentially choosing a single life, having children through science or an arranged interaction and agreement, and that possibly singlehood for all or most of adult life will become normal.

I think it will become more popular definitely. I’m a single mum and have a professional job. It’s hard work but no way would I compromise - I’d only get in a relationship if all boxes ticked.

that said I know a few women that remain with people they “settled” for because they don’t want financial upheaval or stigma. That’s fine but it is becoming less common

It’s the people who settle I feel really sorry for.

I think that the rates of second marriages will drop - (why do that again)but the desire for a family unit to raise children, if that is your choice, will remain, so marriage will still have its place.

I've been single for 5 years.
I go through phases of feeling sad I don't have a special relationship, but I also love my single life. I'm a single mum and I can't imagine anyone taking any bit of my attention away from my boys!
I do worry though that being single for so long has made me anti relationship and I'll struggle if and when the time comes that I do meet someone!

It's a great topic to ponder, you only have to read the many replies on here from women who are no longer putting up with a substandard partner to see the shift.

Of course there are men also doing the same thing, though I think the numbers are far less as their desire for sex usually sees them always seeking a partner out. That's not to say women don't desire sex, of course we do, but I think accross the board women are a lot less preoccupied with it.

I think until mens attitude changes and they can think of women as equals rather than just a sexual desire, a maid and a mum then more women will choose to stay single.

Aslo we forget that marriage and monogamy are social constructs not actual biological needs or desires. There's very few mammals in nature that mate for life, I know we've evolved on from apes but the actual desires are still our boilogy that was the same millenia ago. Procreation and companionship with intimacy is what drives us to want more from a partner than say just a freind, otherwise we'd all just have freinds and find a partner only when we wanted children

I agree with this...

I think this would happen if living was more affordable, but unless you want a houseshare it makes more sense to couple up. It's great now that the expectation isn't marriage and babies though, but I do think most people would be in a relationships if they found 'the one'

I think you're right OP. I don't think society is geared towards traditional long term relationships anymore. I don't know so much if people will lead single lives but I feel marriage will be a thing of the past and people will have more casual relationships

I agree, but I actually extend the decreasing mental health to the lack of a role of religion in society. I’m not at all religious but I think we are really missing the sense of community a local parish church used to provide, and weekly time out for reflection, gratitude and meditation must be good for mental health.

I should also run for cover, but I do think there should be more initiatives to replace the role of the church in society (it looks like manifestation and meditation are becoming more popular, it would be great to see some communal, real life structure being put around this for people to gravitate towards…)

Totally agree with this. I've said for years that men are slower at evolving than women are. There is a proportion of them that still think they can act as man-children and be looked after by women. But there are less and less women that will accept that now.

I think families need to work hard on their children, to support their sons to develop in a way that will enable them to be a man worth having, that will be wanted by a woman. Because most of us just don't need them anymore.

My children WERE the light of my life. But they are grown up now and have lives of their own. It's fine when you are deep in the child rearing stage of life, but wait until you are older, the children have left home and you have a man who has decided that he just wants to sit on the sofa and watch TV every day when you want to travel.

I don’t know about most, but I definitely think more will.

Agree!!!

Yes I love being social. I love people in my space some time. But do not be there 24/7. When I just want to sit on the sofa and not speak. Leave me be.

Also I always worry having a live in partner means feeling pressure to have “maintenance sex”. I don’t want that either.

Ugggggh, maintenance sex, I shudder to think what previous generations were conditioned to put themselves through.

I agree. I have been so much more sociable since getting divorced and I have not felt the kind of loneliness marriage made me sometimes feel even once. The idea that being single means you sit alone in your house is not my experience at all, it’s the complete opposite.

Maintanence sex 🤮

I don’t think so.