To stop my son from presenting as Jewish at school

[Wonderberry]

I really wish this wasn't the case.

My son wants to wear his kippah (skullcap) at school. This is entirely his choice, and something that he has chosen to start wearing recently. He just wants to express his religious and cultural background.

Unfortunately, I don't feel like he would be safe to do so. I hate that this is where we are at currently in the UK, but I know it is the reality. He goes to a community school in London, and doesn't understand why he cannot wear his kippah at school. On cultural days, he also cannot share his culture either.

My god. Some of the comments on this thread.
Dear Jewish posters, I was concerned before, I am horrified now 💐.

That is true. I try and do the same. I am not religious (although grew up catholic so I have a frame of reference for the reverence shown to holy items such as the bible, rosary beads, crucifix, holy water) and can understand that why 'hat' is offensive.
I wonder if that would be beyond the experience of someone who had never been actively involved in any religion.

Wow this thread has attracted the antisemites...and those who like to pretend it doesn't exist.

Sadly, I think you are right not to let him wear his kippah at school OP.

My son goes to a Jewish school, but I don't allow him to wear a kippah outside school as I don't think it's safe. I'm very worried about when he goes to secondary and has to use public transport and be identifiably Jewish because of his school uniform.

No. If you can work out how to go on MN and post, you can read the OP.
Or use Google.

I'm a Christian but I'm so sorry you have experienced antisemitism. You shouldn't have to worry about your 7 year old wearing kippah

Openly antisemitic. Really. Sigh.

biggest jewish population in Europe...

... with the largest numbers emigrating following antisemitic attacks.

But you can't assume that others without that frame of reference would understand that there is a need to rather than using a general word like hat.
It is the symbolism in your faith which elevates the status of the garment, and that elevated status is what makes the effort worthwhile to you or to someone trying to be respectful to your faith. Without that awareness someone might view it just as a garment. In the context of this thread probably not to be fair as the OP makes clear that it is something important to her son.

OMFG. It's getting worse. Well done MNHQ for getting rid of one of them.

Your last sentence, that's the point.
It's the central issue. It behoves the rest of us to act with respect.
Anyway. I think that particular poster has left the building.

I’m so sad and ashamed of this country that it feels unsafe for your boy to express his beautiful, ancient faith and culture. I’m so sorry. I don’t know how to show solidarity with our precious Jewish communities.

Dear lord, I actually couldn't believe some of those posts, genuinely.

in real life? I hate to be this political on MN but your point is blatantly ridiculous. Netnyahu is a monster, obviously, and most non-israeli jews acknowledge that, but his disgusting genocidal approach (i don't use that word lightly which seems to too often used in recent years, but
"as Israel reaffirmed its plans to capture more land in the enclave and force all two million Gaza residents to live in the south."*

As has so often demanded of UK Muslims, to denounce the behaviour of their coreligionists, i'm not sure (and this is unfair to the many whom i am sure decry israel's behaviour in the last 18 months) but there doesn't seem to be any effort to voice disturbance at netanyahu's government's behaviour. If this is what muslims, why is this different for another religion Surely putting jewish UK children at unnecessary risk? Aside from being immoral...

*www.nytimes.com/2025/05/07/world/middleeast/israel-gaza-displacement-plan-reaction.html"

With respect why are Palestinian flags not allowed ? It’s a country with people in it ,
whom many are innocent, the fact they aren’t white doesn’t change that.

Im very sorry this is something your son has to even think about OP no one should feel they have to hide their identity for fear of prejudice in this country in this day and age.

by the same logic people of Palestinian origin shouldn’t be viewed as terrorists either racism is racism.

If that was a genuine question…

for me it’s honestly not that hard. Just don’t ask me to defend another country, don’t act like I represent more than myself and don’t teach your kids to attack mine.

on a nicer note - some of my coworkers and friends will wish me a Happy Rosh Hashanah or other important holiday, ask me about what traditions I share with my children, come over to share food on special occasions and just generally act like I’m a person with a multitude of things to talk about besides the news.

im also an American immigrant so its been a crazy couple of years and im not exactly in the best state so being kind never hurts!

I’m so ashamed of Britain that it has come to that but yes, if it were my son I would feel the same. Utterly heartbreaking.

I have Jewish neighbours, an elderly couple in their 80s. A couple of months ago we had a conversation and it became clear that they were feeling increasingly anxious. They'd seen and heard of increasing antisemitism in our town. We have offered to help them if ever they need support. They brought round matzos and almond biscuits when it was Passover.
I went on to Jewish Mumsnetters to ask if it would be correct to give them a card or gift at this time because I didn't know, and the responses were informative, kind and thoughtful.
So, @TheWatersofMarch I would say this; it's up to us non Jews to step up, be aware, be supportive and challenge antisemitism.
All that is required for evil to succeed is for good people to do nothing.

Hi sorry haven’t read the whole thread, only bits. I’m not sure where you live OP, but we are a Jewish family living in a very Jewish area in London. My son travels on the northern line into the city of London every day for school wearing a kippa, along with two friends who also do. He is 11, and has been doing this since he was 10. He’s been fine, never had any hassle either on the train or in school.

My husband who also wears a kippa, works and travels into the city daily and it’s the same. Not at all saying that things are easy for Jewish people, but it’s just our lived experience, in that where we live in London and the school that my son attends, is a safe respectful place. And it’s important to us that we can proudly show our identity.

For what it’s worth, I find mumsnet often a crazy hotbed of antisemitism. I don’t want to read all the comments here but I’m sure there have been some typical examples. To be clear - There is no link between an 11 year old wearing a Jewish head covering and any events going on anywhere in the world.

YANBU. What should be, and what is, are two very different things. If it doesn't feel safe, you have to go with your gut.

Yeah. You've done a lot of insistent posturing about being from a Catholic background. To the point that I'm not convinced you're from that background at all.

What then? Pure ignorance?

I'm not Jewish, I don't think I ever met a Jewish person until I went to university, and yet I knew it was called a kippah when I was still in primary school.

I don't care what you believe.
I grew up in Liverpool, it's the majority religion in area. It's not exactly unusual. would you like me to obtain the parish records of my baptism, first communion, first confession and confirmation? Picture of me in an extremely frilly frock on my first communion (I mean it was Liverpool in the 80s!)

Fish out my old school reports?
Posturing...so many derogatory terms for someone who dares to disagree with you.

Went to faith schools, got to adulthood and decided that some aspects that gen faith teaches are positive but I hate the dogmatism and excessive symbolism over actions. My family don't share my views but they accept them.

Who has time to make shit up on Mumsnet?!

Oh that is fucking out of order. A child who has panic attacks walking to school, who is falling to pieces in therapy because some horrible shits decided to attack her and call her a p*. Scares to walk to the shops by herself. Her school attendance has plummeted and she spends breaks and lunches with staff because she is now so anxious.

Again do I have to post a pic of my family, I'm clearly not going to. My DH family is from Sri Lanka. We have children separately but not together. (He's also a lapsed/former catholic if that's not too wild for you).

I have typed and deleted my response here several times.

You have shown your true colours. If you want to disagree with me that is fine. But to say that the awful experience of my step daughter is made up is unacceptable. Imagine if I responded to one of the Jewish posters on here whose child had been assaulted by telling them they were making it up. And saying they are probably not even Jewish despite their posturing.

If your arguments have substance, you don't need to make the awful personal attacks.