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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you leave an almost 13 year old home alone… until 10pm?

103 replies

WizardofCoz · 12/05/2025 20:55

Hi folks,
I always pay a babysitter (neighbour) to babysit for my almost 13 year old child.
A friend has offered me a ticket to an event I really want to go to - babysitter can’t do that eve, child is adamant they will be fine.
I’ll happily leave them alone for a few hours but has never been later than 8pm, would be home around 10pm for this one.
No other babysitter options & it’s a school night so no sleepover options.
We know all our neighbours & child feels very safe in our flat (v secure block)
WWYD?

OP posts:
monicagellerbing · 12/05/2025 20:55

Yes I would so long as they know what to do in an emergency and you will be contactable all evening.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 12/05/2025 20:57

They will be fine unless SEN or untrustworthy/irresponsibld.

I was babysitting up to 4 younger children/babies by myself from age 12, so that is undoubtedly influencing my response.

Ablondiebutagoody · 12/05/2025 20:57

Yes. I don't see what difference 10pm makes from 8pm

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 12/05/2025 20:57

Of course.

TheNightingalesStarling · 12/05/2025 20:58

I had to pick up DH from the station at 11pm recently, DDs are 12 and 13. They were in bed.

I also had to leave at 6am to get him from the ferry one time...

How does she feel about it? Mine ate used to me being out until 9pm regularly picking up the other one for example, or their dad when he's home (Army) and wouldn't see 10pm any differently really. Some of their friends are never alone, so would be anxious.

WiddlinDiddlin · 12/05/2025 20:59

It depends entirely on the child and the situation.

Very capable, confident child who will absolutely speak to a neighbour (and there are neighbours happy to help that you trust) if necessary - yeah.

Wibbly wobbly not confident child who wouldn't seek help OR, there is no help to seek out if necessary, then no.

You'll get a ton of people telling you it's illegal/immoral/awful/what if the house catches fire etc.

dogcatkitten · 12/05/2025 21:00

How long would they be alone rather than till what time, but if they are happy and you can keep in touch and it's a safe environment then I would say it's fine.

Talipesmum · 12/05/2025 21:01

i would probably, but I would ask a neighbour to be a contact for child while I was out, so I was sure there was someone they could call on if needed.

Middleagedstriker · 12/05/2025 21:02

I have done on several times! At 12 I went to London by myself from Norfolk on bus and train and underground. 12 year olds are pretty resourceful given the chance.

MagneticSquirrel · 12/05/2025 21:03

No, not for something non-essential. Picking other children up, helping sick relatives, hospitals visits, working late in order to pay the bills fine and justified reasons for leaving a child on their own all evening if necessary.

Leaving a 13 year old on their own all evening until their bedtime, to go to a fun social event seems wrong to me.

rookiemere · 12/05/2025 21:21

Yes I would, 13 is old enough for 10pm, it’s not like you will be out all night.

Feetinthegrass · 12/05/2025 21:24

Summer or winter? Is comfortable to be left? Is she likely to feel scared or lonely? I think it’s a touch too young personally.

rosemarble · 12/05/2025 21:27

Can you trust they know what to do AND WOULD ACTUALLY DO IT in the event of an emergency? If they are going to bed before you are back can you trust them to lock up, check gas etc before turning in.

Some 13 yo are mature enough, some aren’t.

Xmasbaby11 · 12/05/2025 21:27

I have a 13 yo and I wouldn’t. She is sensible but still think she’d struggle in an emergency at night eg if I was in an accident and didn’t come home. However, it’s possibly irrational as she does get left earlier in the day, just not after dark.

whatonearthishappenin · 12/05/2025 21:28

MagneticSquirrel · 12/05/2025 21:03

No, not for something non-essential. Picking other children up, helping sick relatives, hospitals visits, working late in order to pay the bills fine and justified reasons for leaving a child on their own all evening if necessary.

Leaving a 13 year old on their own all evening until their bedtime, to go to a fun social event seems wrong to me.

What an odd response. What’s the practical difference for a child (who wants to stay alone) whether you are at work or having fun? Are you meant to martyr yourself?

rosemarble · 12/05/2025 21:29

MagneticSquirrel · 12/05/2025 21:03

No, not for something non-essential. Picking other children up, helping sick relatives, hospitals visits, working late in order to pay the bills fine and justified reasons for leaving a child on their own all evening if necessary.

Leaving a 13 year old on their own all evening until their bedtime, to go to a fun social event seems wrong to me.

Mine loved it!
Which is good cos I’m a lone parent and it was important for me to get out and for him to see that.

Bigcat25 · 12/05/2025 21:31

It's fine. I was sitting around that age.

Sherararara · 12/05/2025 21:33

It’s how long they would be left for in total that is important not the end time. If you leave at 7 and are back at 10 that’s a bit different to leaving at 4 and back at 10 isn’t it.

NebulousWhistler · 12/05/2025 21:41

I left an 11 year old home alone last week from 7.30-9.30.
I see no issues with it, She was fine to stay at home.

Greenartywitch · 12/05/2025 21:44

A 13 year old needs a baby sitter? that is so bizarre to me.

Blondebrownorred · 12/05/2025 22:01

I wouldn't no.

TheatreTraveller · 12/05/2025 22:04

The child is 12 - and no, I absolutely wouldn't leave a 12yr child home alone that long/that late to go for a night out. I'm a Children's Social Worker though so very risk averse.

Phonicshaskilledmeoff · 12/05/2025 22:06

Could they maybe have a friend over?

Aoppley · 12/05/2025 22:07

I was regularly left alone all day with my 9 and 6 year old siblings when I was 12, and sometimes up to midnight from when I was 13. I was fine, but might not have been/hated it if I hadn't had siblings.

Whiteflowerscreed · 12/05/2025 22:07

I was babysitting other children at 14!!

yes I would leaving her