Would you leave an almost 13 year old home alone… until 10pm?

[WizardofCoz]

Hi folks,
I always pay a babysitter (neighbour) to babysit for my almost 13 year old child.
A friend has offered me a ticket to an event I really want to go to - babysitter can’t do that eve, child is adamant they will be fine.
I’ll happily leave them alone for a few hours but has never been later than 8pm, would be home around 10pm for this one.
No other babysitter options & it’s a school night so no sleepover options.
We know all our neighbours & child feels very safe in our flat (v secure block)
WWYD?

Would child put himself to bed and if asleep and there was a fire, how would he escape? Would he even wake up?

Would you do the same with your own children?

Would depend on the 13 yr old

yes for one of my children and no for the other

My daughter is 12 and isn’t ready for this at all. But plenty of her friends are and do stay home alone. Super kid dependent and for me would also rely on having someone around to run to if a true emergency (friendly neighbour etc)

It sounds fine to me. When I was 12 I was commonly left alone in the evening. At the same age I once went by myself from our home in London for a day at the seaside.

Thanks for all your replies! Wow a mixed bag.
Child is pretty sensible, I do think would be ok, will probably love eating snacks/staring at screens - there are at least 4 neighbours in our block that we know v well. I’m still a bit torn though…

Mine would be fine....hours of screen time and cupboard snacks. They might not put themselves to bed and still be sat in front of TV ..but yes we'd do it.

I have a 12.5 year old and we are contemplating doing this later this week for a low key local social event. I think she’d be fine practically speaking. The two potential issues are she probably wouldn’t go to bed till we get back, and also she might get a bit freaked out in the house on her own in the dark. Need to ask her about the second one!

Yes and have done most weeks from age 12. When he was 12, we made sure next door neighbour was around in case of any problems. Now at 13, he’s used to staying home alone some evenings or school holiday days, and would know how to call emergency services, is unlikely to burn the house down etc. only problem is that he uses it as an excuse to stay up later than ideal

I definitely wouldn't.

I think I agree it’s just a touch too young and a touch too late.

At 14 I’d start to consider home alone at night.

I was babysitting at that age! My dc were left occasionally from early teens, didn’t have a sitter past age 12 unless overnight

Oh for heaven's sake! Go and enjoy yourself, your kid will be fine. High time for them to have some independence.

Yes. As long as they had access to a phone and could call someone for help in case of an emergency.

I was looking after my little sis at 13.

Yes. If she is sensible with no SN, has a phone and won’t play with the oven.
She will likely be just watching tv all evening or talking to friends

I wouldn't as these days kids aren't brought up with the same independence - if there is any kind of emergency and you're not there. Can't you take her with you?

No not a chance

I was wondering that too.

We didn’t wear seatbelts in the back seat when I was young.

What if something happens to you?

No. Not for a non-urgent night out.

Definitely fine/ year 7 they are getting themselves to school surely sitting at home is safer than that? I was babysitting very young children at 13 until very late at night. Different times!

What's the difference between leaving him until 8 and leaving him until 10?

If he's happy, has a phone, has a local contact, has common sense, this is a sensible step. Phone him at the interval.

One reservation: I see a suggestion upthread that he invite a friend. That creates a more complex situation - I'd avoid that.

But go for it!

Yes. you say your child is sensible. Does that include knowing not to answer the door or go outside while you're gone?

I left my 2 kids at home a couple of times (with a very large dog) when they were 10 / 11.

They were 100% fine.

I would do a trial run, so your DC can see how they feel being left alone in the evening/until dark. You can be very nearby and contactable. It will put less pressure on the event you want to go to.

I think OP should leave him a plan for this anyway, whether he's on his own until 4, 8, 10. Nothing dramatic, just, if I'm ever late home and you can't get in touch with me, phone (Gran, neighbour, school friend's mum etc). This could happen if she leaves him for ten minutes in broad daylight. It's good to point out, though, because it's good to have a plan.