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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this weird - helped a scared girl out on the school run and her mum didn’t give a shit

88 replies

BottomWibblyWob · 12/05/2025 19:40

On the school run at pick up today, I noticed a car full of men as I passed a street near the school. It was parked right across a junction, and they stared my down as I passed with my 8yo son. I got a REALLY creepy feeling and felt very uncomfortable. One of them was waving an orange baseball cap out the window for no apparent reason in a strange way. Like waving it slowly for a few seconds, pulling it back in for a few seconds, then waving it again but fast, and doing that on a loop.

About a minute later I heard a scream and I turned round a little girl was running towards me asking me to help her. She said thought a man tried to kidnap her from the same car she just passed. The car had completely disappeared by this point. I didn’t press her too much for information, but she said they opened the car door when she approached, and only when she was walking past did a man get out the back door. She got a bad feeling so screamed and ran, and he got back in and they drove off.

I calmed her down, told her she did the right thing in running to me and that I’d get her to her mum. She is 10yo and goes to my DS’s school. she didn’t have credit on her phone so couldn’t ring her mum. I rang twice from my phone (no answer) texted her about the situation and started to walk her DD home. At no point did the mum reply or call back. I allowed the girl to connect to my hotspot so she could text her mum telling her what happened.

Anyway she lived quite a way away and so me and DS got to hers with her maybe 25 minutes later. When I told her mum what happened she rolled her eyes. The girl went inside the house, and she said to me she “makes things up a lot”. I said that there was a car with men and they gave me the creeps so whilst I didn’t necessarily think that they tried to abduct her I totally understand why she was scared. I also told her I tried to text and call her so she has my number if she wanted to report it to the police. She practically sneered and said “Right thanks” and the said bye and closed the door.That’s it. That was the interaction. This was at about 4pm and I’ve had no text or anything since. I rang the school about it, and also texted my police friend to ask if it would be of interest to them and he said yes definitely so I logged it with 101 online.

But AIBU to think the mum’s reaction to her DD being absolutely terrified was weird? Or are there really kids who make things up and I shouldn’t be so judgy?

OP posts:
SnoopDougyDoug · 12/05/2025 19:42

She sounds awful, you did the right thing calling the school and 101.

BakelikeBertha · 12/05/2025 19:51

Wow! What an awful mother! Doesn't matter if her child makes things up or not, you're an adult and you told her that you too got bad vibes from the men in this car. Who knows, you may well have saved her life, if they had intended to harm her. I would have been extremely grateful if you'd done that for my child, and you definitely did the right thing reporting it.

Auroraloves · 12/05/2025 19:54

I just don’t get this mentality. Some parents don’t give a shit about their children, very weird and you did the right thing.

DancingHippos · 12/05/2025 19:58

Yes definitely ask the school to follow-up with a text / email to parents about this. And to tell other schools.
Very bizarre behaviour from the girl's mum.

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 12/05/2025 20:05

She sounds negligent

Kids do make stuff up but to have that unbothered reaction is bizarre, especially given that youd called, texted and walked her child home!

The police will follow up. You've done the right thing and she was lucky that you were there x

TheeNotoriousPIG · 12/05/2025 20:06

Regardless of her mother's attitude (which requires serious improvement...), thank you for doing the right thing, OP. Thank you for keeping the girl safe, taking her home and reporting it to both school and 101. Most of all, thank-you for being a good, strong, dependable adult when she needed one!

Also, I'm not sure if it happens in your area, but if you are part of a local FB page, could you post something on there about the incident? (E.g. car lurking on X street, tried to grab passing child, keep safe, etc.) I wouldn't want to risk another child potentially being taken.

Ooooohdear · 12/05/2025 20:08

I would’ve taken her back to school. Always take them back to school.

JustMeHello · 12/05/2025 20:14

I once found a tearful half naked toddler in a nappy on my drive at 6.30am, no adults anywhere. I knelt down, tried to calm him down and find out where his mummy was and where he lived, and he just kept crying, (didn't touch him) then his mum (I assume) ran up with an empty pushchair and grabbed his arm and yanked him up into it, told him she'd fucking kill him if he ran off again, and told me I was a dangerous cow and then stomped off along the road. I was gobsmacked, but apparently there are parents like that in the world. Poor kids.

Original poster
BottomWibblyWob · 12/05/2025 20:15

Ooooohdear · 12/05/2025 20:08

I would’ve taken her back to school. Always take them back to school.

DH said that when I got home and it didn’t even occur to me, I think I was a bit in the mode of “I’d want my little girl back with me so I need to get her to her mum”

OP posts:
coxesorangepippin · 12/05/2025 20:17

Sounds very odd

You definitely did the right thing

Original poster
BottomWibblyWob · 12/05/2025 20:18

JustMeHello · 12/05/2025 20:14

I once found a tearful half naked toddler in a nappy on my drive at 6.30am, no adults anywhere. I knelt down, tried to calm him down and find out where his mummy was and where he lived, and he just kept crying, (didn't touch him) then his mum (I assume) ran up with an empty pushchair and grabbed his arm and yanked him up into it, told him she'd fucking kill him if he ran off again, and told me I was a dangerous cow and then stomped off along the road. I was gobsmacked, but apparently there are parents like that in the world. Poor kids.

That’s absolutely disgusting. I think I live in a bubble sometimes and forget some people don’t give a fuck about their kids.

The only thing I’ve done close is when DS was 3 he ran out into the road and narrowly missed a fast van - luckily he had a hooded jacket on and I grabbed his hood to stop him. I shouted, in TOTAL panic and trauma “You silly little boy” to which he cried for hours. I feel so bad even today, but I think I went into panic mode, even though it was entirely my fault. I did tell him after he isn’t silly and it was my fault. But still your story is another level completely!

OP posts:
DustlandFairytaleBeginning · 12/05/2025 20:22

JustMeHello · 12/05/2025 20:14

I once found a tearful half naked toddler in a nappy on my drive at 6.30am, no adults anywhere. I knelt down, tried to calm him down and find out where his mummy was and where he lived, and he just kept crying, (didn't touch him) then his mum (I assume) ran up with an empty pushchair and grabbed his arm and yanked him up into it, told him she'd fucking kill him if he ran off again, and told me I was a dangerous cow and then stomped off along the road. I was gobsmacked, but apparently there are parents like that in the world. Poor kids.

Bless you, I got a similar ear bashing when I saved a yorkshire terrier from a busy road. I'd picked up the poor thing to keep it safe and look for its owners. I was actively staying in one place and looking around for several minutes when the owner appeared from another road to claim it, shouting about how dare I pick up his dog. People are just awful sometimes.

JustMeHello · 12/05/2025 20:22

I mean, I understand the mother in my case was probably frantic and scared, bit still... when I saw her running down the road I fully expected her to be relieved, and to thank me, and I was just stunned and did nothing when she dragged him off.

Katemax82 · 12/05/2025 20:23

BottomWibblyWob · 12/05/2025 20:18

That’s absolutely disgusting. I think I live in a bubble sometimes and forget some people don’t give a fuck about their kids.

The only thing I’ve done close is when DS was 3 he ran out into the road and narrowly missed a fast van - luckily he had a hooded jacket on and I grabbed his hood to stop him. I shouted, in TOTAL panic and trauma “You silly little boy” to which he cried for hours. I feel so bad even today, but I think I went into panic mode, even though it was entirely my fault. I did tell him after he isn’t silly and it was my fault. But still your story is another level completely!

Show quote history

I've had similar with my son..I used to drive myself mad imagining what could have happened so now I tell myself my son wasn't hurt and stop going over it in my head

Original poster
BottomWibblyWob · 12/05/2025 20:23

JustMeHello · 12/05/2025 20:22

I mean, I understand the mother in my case was probably frantic and scared, bit still... when I saw her running down the road I fully expected her to be relieved, and to thank me, and I was just stunned and did nothing when she dragged him off.

I think you get a sense of panic vs that’s just the kind of person that they probably always are!

OP posts:
Missj25 · 12/05/2025 20:36

BottomWibblyWob · 12/05/2025 19:40

On the school run at pick up today, I noticed a car full of men as I passed a street near the school. It was parked right across a junction, and they stared my down as I passed with my 8yo son. I got a REALLY creepy feeling and felt very uncomfortable. One of them was waving an orange baseball cap out the window for no apparent reason in a strange way. Like waving it slowly for a few seconds, pulling it back in for a few seconds, then waving it again but fast, and doing that on a loop.

About a minute later I heard a scream and I turned round a little girl was running towards me asking me to help her. She said thought a man tried to kidnap her from the same car she just passed. The car had completely disappeared by this point. I didn’t press her too much for information, but she said they opened the car door when she approached, and only when she was walking past did a man get out the back door. She got a bad feeling so screamed and ran, and he got back in and they drove off.

I calmed her down, told her she did the right thing in running to me and that I’d get her to her mum. She is 10yo and goes to my DS’s school. she didn’t have credit on her phone so couldn’t ring her mum. I rang twice from my phone (no answer) texted her about the situation and started to walk her DD home. At no point did the mum reply or call back. I allowed the girl to connect to my hotspot so she could text her mum telling her what happened.

Anyway she lived quite a way away and so me and DS got to hers with her maybe 25 minutes later. When I told her mum what happened she rolled her eyes. The girl went inside the house, and she said to me she “makes things up a lot”. I said that there was a car with men and they gave me the creeps so whilst I didn’t necessarily think that they tried to abduct her I totally understand why she was scared. I also told her I tried to text and call her so she has my number if she wanted to report it to the police. She practically sneered and said “Right thanks” and the said bye and closed the door.That’s it. That was the interaction. This was at about 4pm and I’ve had no text or anything since. I rang the school about it, and also texted my police friend to ask if it would be of interest to them and he said yes definitely so I logged it with 101 online.

But AIBU to think the mum’s reaction to her DD being absolutely terrified was weird? Or are there really kids who make things up and I shouldn’t be so judgy?

What an awful mother, & worse again that little girl has to walk such a distance on her own home from school & she’s only 10 ..😔
You were right in everything you did OP & as another pp has said , you could have saved her life ..
So disheartening to think that little girl has to walk unaccompanied every day …

daffodil2025 · 12/05/2025 20:41

Please contact the school so that they can warn others too

StMarie4me · 12/05/2025 20:50

This actually happened to me and my group of friends in 1974 so I’m damn sure it could happen now! You did the right think OP and the mother was downright peculiar.

Treesarenotforeating · 12/05/2025 21:03

Do let the school know so that a message can go out to parents

JLou08 · 12/05/2025 21:07

There was a similar situation with my DD around the same age when she was with friends, she came home terrified so I sent a WhatsApp message to the mums of her friends, there were 3 others. Only 1 replied and said it was probably just their imagination, the other 2 didn't even respond. I was the only one who seemed concerned. So although I would be shocked at that reaction, I think it would probably be a common reaction.

arcticpandas · 12/05/2025 21:17

Unfortunately some parents just don't care about their kids. And this mum is neglectful and also rude not to thank you. I would have been so greatful to a mum walking my child home if something like this had happened. You did the right thing @BottomWibblyWob and thank you for helping that child and reporting.

WiseFinch · 12/05/2025 21:21

Safeguarding is everyone’s responsibility. Well done.

Zippidydoodah · 12/05/2025 21:23

You did the right thing. Going back to the school would also have been a good idea (and I’ve made a mental note of that).

It is sad that she has such a long walk home alone, too. Poor girl.

GingerBeverage · 12/05/2025 21:25

Sadly, the men will be back. Keep an eye out.

Girlgoneinternational · 13/05/2025 05:47

If she does make stuff up all the time I suspect it's because she doesn't get enough attention from her mum. You did the right thing.