Is this weird - helped a scared girl out on the school run and her mum didn’t give a shit

[BottomWibblyWob]

On the school run at pick up today, I noticed a car full of men as I passed a street near the school. It was parked right across a junction, and they stared my down as I passed with my 8yo son. I got a REALLY creepy feeling and felt very uncomfortable. One of them was waving an orange baseball cap out the window for no apparent reason in a strange way. Like waving it slowly for a few seconds, pulling it back in for a few seconds, then waving it again but fast, and doing that on a loop.

About a minute later I heard a scream and I turned round a little girl was running towards me asking me to help her. She said thought a man tried to kidnap her from the same car she just passed. The car had completely disappeared by this point. I didn’t press her too much for information, but she said they opened the car door when she approached, and only when she was walking past did a man get out the back door. She got a bad feeling so screamed and ran, and he got back in and they drove off.

I calmed her down, told her she did the right thing in running to me and that I’d get her to her mum. She is 10yo and goes to my DS’s school. she didn’t have credit on her phone so couldn’t ring her mum. I rang twice from my phone (no answer) texted her about the situation and started to walk her DD home. At no point did the mum reply or call back. I allowed the girl to connect to my hotspot so she could text her mum telling her what happened.

Anyway she lived quite a way away and so me and DS got to hers with her maybe 25 minutes later. When I told her mum what happened she rolled her eyes. The girl went inside the house, and she said to me she “makes things up a lot”. I said that there was a car with men and they gave me the creeps so whilst I didn’t necessarily think that they tried to abduct her I totally understand why she was scared. I also told her I tried to text and call her so she has my number if she wanted to report it to the police. She practically sneered and said “Right thanks” and the said bye and closed the door.That’s it. That was the interaction. This was at about 4pm and I’ve had no text or anything since. I rang the school about it, and also texted my police friend to ask if it would be of interest to them and he said yes definitely so I logged it with 101 online.

But AIBU to think the mum’s reaction to her DD being absolutely terrified was weird? Or are there really kids who make things up and I shouldn’t be so judgy?

Don't take any notice of people like this OP, there are always perfect posters on threads like this who can apparently think and act completely logically and rationally in any situation no matter how scary or panicky, and then like to belittle others for not responding in a completely textbook way. You absolutely did the right thing, and the girl's mum sounds bloody awful.

Yes very hot, and I could be just trying to look out for signs - my DD’s secondary warns about signs of county lines gangs and unusual behaviour

Sorry I should have said it was a car not a van 🤦🏼‍♀️ not the other way around

I did have faith in my instincts? I got her to a safe place.

It's a sad an uncomfortable fact that some people are just terrible parents. They'd tell you they love their kids, but they can't possibly love them like you and I love ours when they don't even give a shit about them.

Also, a 25+min walk home from school alone at 10 yrs old? I know many are capable and many have no choice. But it's not ideal is it, as this proves.

Well done for stepping in and doing your best for her op.

Very odd and depressing reaction from the mum. You did the right thing though and I bet that girl felt very grateful that you walked her home after she had a scary incident.

Did you let the school know?

Because it’ll probably happen again and she’ll be just as vulnerable next time.

She said in her OP she rang the school as well as letting the police know.

I totally get it OP, I once drove a friend three hours home across England after picking her up from hospital from a suicide attempt of all things (and not thinking her chaotic, party house student gaff was an appropriate place to bring her, also that none of us were equipped to deal with this properly for her) and her parents who were terribly middle class were like ‘hmm I think it’s a bit odd you came so late at night’ (we arrived at maybe 10 or 11pm) in a real ‘what will the neighbours say’ attitude - they had ZERO warmth or concern and I nearly put her in the car and drove back again. I stayed overnight and was shoved off anw the next morning and heard she tried again shortly after (she survived).

I'm not sure what you're misunderstanding in what I said, but I haven't criticised you. I said your actions were fine, but it was a possible incident in progress, so calling 999 would have been better and is therefore what you should do next time.

Yes, I put this in my OP as well

You said I should have faith in my instincts. I did.

Given I had no information other than “men in a blue car, don’t have the reg or any idea where they’ve gone” I’m not sure what use calling 999 would be other than wasting time for genuine emergencies?

You did the right thing in helping her, but you should have taken her back to the school so they could deal with it and contact her parents, police etc.

IF the girl did have a habit of making things up, she could have accused you of anything.

Well done on stepping in though.

She sounds like a shit parent. At least you informed the police and school so hopefully if that van turns up again people are aware.

What a fu**ing awful attitude. I cannot abide people who cannot show gratitude for those who go out of their way to help and protect others.

Ignore the mother. Report the incident to the school and the police - just the type of car strangely parked, the hat waving and the girl screaming because a man got out when she passed. There is no reason to disbelieve her and these men could be a risk to other children.

You did absolutely the right things. My M was one who ignored unpleasant things that happened to me in childhood and even laughed and smirked when they were brought to her attention. Thank you for being the one who was there for this little girl and for taking her fears seriously. I hope you encounter her again so that you can check she's OK. I've no doubt that the fact that you stopped, listened and believed her will be something she remembers with gratitude for a long time, despite the nasty apathy of her mother.

Best wishes to you. x

A 10 year old child is walking 25 minutes home on her own? Maybe I’m too conservative but that doesn’t sound right or safe.

my two boys are 12 & 14 and have only just started walking themselves home as it’s a 30 minute walk.

About a year ago a 14 year old boy was kidnapped and fell from the moving vehicle about a 10 minute drive from our house. I think there were other 14 year olds in the car. The news reported that he received life altering injuries. We are all of us vulnerable, but a 10 year old child even more so.

Definitely let the school know.

Nothing if her mum could be bothered meeting her and walking with her so they could chat. But leaving her to do it on her own? Lazy and neglectful.
A mum I know was unavoidably held up when going to collect her daughter from school. The child decided to start walking the route she knew her mother would take. She was never seen alive again. That was years ago, I think our streets are far more dangerous now.

'No good deed goes unpunished.' The times I have learned this.

Well done, OP for caring. Every parent hopes that the world will treat their children with kindness and notice when they need help and this you did.

The distance isn't an issue, there's little difference between doing a ten minute walk alone and a 25 minute walk in terms of safety so long as there's no difference in terms of general area safety (like if the route went through a dodgy area). 10 year olds (and younger) walk much further alone to school in my town, it's not an issue because the routes are generally safe.

The issue here is the odd behaviour of the men, perhaps innocent perhaps not, and the fact that the mother doesn't believe what her daughter tells her. That's the biggest issue really because that girl can't trust her mum to believe her if something happens to her,which is utterly depressing.

The mum should have thanked you, even if the child is prone to making things up and the same thing happens three times a week.

A car full of men sitting outside a school if not obviously collecting a child…dodgy. I mean they could have been working nearby and taking a break…. but you have to trust your instincts.

If you didnt already share this with school, I would let them know exactly how far that little girl walks on her own and that she had no means of contacting an adult as her phone was dead.

Maybe 10yr old doesnt feel safe and thats why she apparently makes stuff up? Maybe she is crying out for an adult to support her? Kids who make things up usually need attention from their primary carers.

Most roads are CCTV'd, if only via shops etc, cars can be tracked without a reg. Next time, return a child to the school. That poor little girl will have no support and be schooled to minimise it. It's good that you now recognise that not all parents do care and not every child's home is the safest place. I'm not saying necessarily call 999, but a potential kidnapping is a 999 situation. You didn't know the child amd the police's advise is to not take charge of a child not known to you, call them, or rake back to the school.