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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this weird - helped a scared girl out on the school run and her mum didn’t give a shit

88 replies

BottomWibblyWob · 12/05/2025 19:40

On the school run at pick up today, I noticed a car full of men as I passed a street near the school. It was parked right across a junction, and they stared my down as I passed with my 8yo son. I got a REALLY creepy feeling and felt very uncomfortable. One of them was waving an orange baseball cap out the window for no apparent reason in a strange way. Like waving it slowly for a few seconds, pulling it back in for a few seconds, then waving it again but fast, and doing that on a loop.

About a minute later I heard a scream and I turned round a little girl was running towards me asking me to help her. She said thought a man tried to kidnap her from the same car she just passed. The car had completely disappeared by this point. I didn’t press her too much for information, but she said they opened the car door when she approached, and only when she was walking past did a man get out the back door. She got a bad feeling so screamed and ran, and he got back in and they drove off.

I calmed her down, told her she did the right thing in running to me and that I’d get her to her mum. She is 10yo and goes to my DS’s school. she didn’t have credit on her phone so couldn’t ring her mum. I rang twice from my phone (no answer) texted her about the situation and started to walk her DD home. At no point did the mum reply or call back. I allowed the girl to connect to my hotspot so she could text her mum telling her what happened.

Anyway she lived quite a way away and so me and DS got to hers with her maybe 25 minutes later. When I told her mum what happened she rolled her eyes. The girl went inside the house, and she said to me she “makes things up a lot”. I said that there was a car with men and they gave me the creeps so whilst I didn’t necessarily think that they tried to abduct her I totally understand why she was scared. I also told her I tried to text and call her so she has my number if she wanted to report it to the police. She practically sneered and said “Right thanks” and the said bye and closed the door.That’s it. That was the interaction. This was at about 4pm and I’ve had no text or anything since. I rang the school about it, and also texted my police friend to ask if it would be of interest to them and he said yes definitely so I logged it with 101 online.

But AIBU to think the mum’s reaction to her DD being absolutely terrified was weird? Or are there really kids who make things up and I shouldn’t be so judgy?

OP posts:
EleanorReally · 13/05/2025 05:57

i suspect her mum was in denial
i agree with telling the school

begone25 · 13/05/2025 06:03

Might the number plates of the car have been caught on any ring doorbells or dash cams? Definitely worth following up with the school and checking.

pilates · 13/05/2025 06:06

Yes tell the school and you did the right thing reporting to police. How sad the reaction from mum 😔

GRex · 13/05/2025 06:12

If you really thought they were trying to kidnap her then you should have called 999 and taken her straight to school. Police could have stopped the van to see who was inside (including anyone on probation for related offences), and alerted schools to be particularly mindful. Any kids not showing up that day might then be alerted more quickly, teachers could station themselves by the gates etc.

Walking her home seems like you didn't have faith in your instincts nor in hers. Maybe you didn't, maybe you both over-reacted. It's a situation that it's better to over-react to than under-react to.

Iloveburgerswaymorethanishould · 13/05/2025 06:45

I’ve always said if one of my kids told me a spaceship had landed in my garden and green men came out… I’d 100% believe them (until proved otherwise). Children need us to be their safe place/person. This is horrific especially when there are videos of people trying to take kids from doorsteps circulating….. it’s a dangerous world out there! Also who lets their child come home alone if they are 25 mins away!!!!

violetqueen6 · 13/05/2025 06:55

Thank goodness there are people like you around OP.
Well done.

Member869894 · 13/05/2025 06:55

What's wrong with a 25 min walk for a 10 year old??

SomethingInnocuousForNow · 13/05/2025 07:09

You 100% did the right thing.

echt · 13/05/2025 07:15

GRex · 13/05/2025 06:12

If you really thought they were trying to kidnap her then you should have called 999 and taken her straight to school. Police could have stopped the van to see who was inside (including anyone on probation for related offences), and alerted schools to be particularly mindful. Any kids not showing up that day might then be alerted more quickly, teachers could station themselves by the gates etc.

Walking her home seems like you didn't have faith in your instincts nor in hers. Maybe you didn't, maybe you both over-reacted. It's a situation that it's better to over-react to than under-react to.

Way to kick the OP. Hmm

She took reasonable actions. Your second-guessing is spectacularly unhelpful.

Mymanyellow · 13/05/2025 07:26

As others have said please report to the school. They can warn other parents to keep an eye out. Might even be able to ask about ring doorbell footage from surrounding houses.

Justgorgeous · 13/05/2025 07:26

Thank you for being a decent person, 🌸

Lost20211 · 13/05/2025 07:30

What a bitch.

giddyauntie123 · 13/05/2025 07:42

That sounds so creepy, well done for being so attuned. Mother sounds disassociated and awful.

Whisperings · 13/05/2025 08:01

Thank goodness for you being there @BottomWibblyWob .
The girl's mum sounds awful. I hope the police follow this up.

GRex · 13/05/2025 08:06

echt · 13/05/2025 07:15

Way to kick the OP. Hmm

She took reasonable actions. Your second-guessing is spectacularly unhelpful.

Show quote history

Better actions were available. Now you'd rather she doesn't react in the best way if she sees the van again tomorrow. That's... odd.

WaltzingWaters · 13/05/2025 08:23

Awful of her mother. Well done for looking out for her and reporting to school and police. I hope they both follow up with it.

legsekeven · 13/05/2025 08:29

GingerBeverage · 12/05/2025 21:25

Sadly, the men will be back. Keep an eye out.

To be fair they might be completely innocent.

Imbusytodaysorry · 13/05/2025 08:34

@BottomWibblyWob wow the mother clearly doesn’t worker or bother with her child . If the child does “attention seek “ I think we know why . To get attention and Cara she craves .
It’s disgusting behaviour from the mum .
I bet the same child will
be out in a positions today and tomorow and the next day all over again .
You know the parent won’t walk the child to school or back .
Parents like you this really should have the kids taken from them .

Can you speak sw see if they can chat to the mum around child safety and it’s her responsibility to keep her safe . Maybe then she will be forced to step up a little.

Phial · 13/05/2025 08:34

GRex · 13/05/2025 06:12

If you really thought they were trying to kidnap her then you should have called 999 and taken her straight to school. Police could have stopped the van to see who was inside (including anyone on probation for related offences), and alerted schools to be particularly mindful. Any kids not showing up that day might then be alerted more quickly, teachers could station themselves by the gates etc.

Walking her home seems like you didn't have faith in your instincts nor in hers. Maybe you didn't, maybe you both over-reacted. It's a situation that it's better to over-react to than under-react to.

I don't get the impression that OP did think they were trying to kidnap her, just that she had herself seen the car (I don't think there was any van involved?) full of men, so was on the alert.

MookieCat · 13/05/2025 08:41

You were so so right to call the school and the police. And right to help the little girl obviously. I've also made a mental note to go back to the school if in this situation as I would probably have taken the girl home also otherwise.

We had a little spate where I live of a two men following school girls slowly in their car (large black thing with tinted windows). The word went around fast (with a photo of the reg one of the girls took) on our local community facebook page as well which meant that a very great many people were on the look out and the police caught up with these men. I don't know what has happened since then (it was only a few months ago) but there was a real sense of the community looking out for each other.

The girl's mum is a disgrace IMO.

Original poster
BottomWibblyWob · 13/05/2025 08:55

GRex · 13/05/2025 06:12

If you really thought they were trying to kidnap her then you should have called 999 and taken her straight to school. Police could have stopped the van to see who was inside (including anyone on probation for related offences), and alerted schools to be particularly mindful. Any kids not showing up that day might then be alerted more quickly, teachers could station themselves by the gates etc.

Walking her home seems like you didn't have faith in your instincts nor in hers. Maybe you didn't, maybe you both over-reacted. It's a situation that it's better to over-react to than under-react to.

This was at pick up not drop off. And I didn’t have any description other than “blue car full of men” I didn’t take in a reg or anything

OP posts:
Original poster
BottomWibblyWob · 13/05/2025 08:56

GRex · 13/05/2025 08:06

Better actions were available. Now you'd rather she doesn't react in the best way if she sees the van again tomorrow. That's... odd.

Show quote history

To clarify it was a van not a car.

In a panic people don’t behave perfectly. I did my best with the information I had, whilst trying to stay calm

OP posts:
Tbrh · 13/05/2025 09:00

SnoopDougyDoug · 12/05/2025 19:42

She sounds awful, you did the right thing calling the school and 101.

💯

1SillySossij · 13/05/2025 09:04

Was it hot? The baseball hat sounds like wafting cool air in, perhaps?

GRex · 13/05/2025 09:07

BottomWibblyWob · 13/05/2025 08:56

To clarify it was a van not a car.

In a panic people don’t behave perfectly. I did my best with the information I had, whilst trying to stay calm

Show quote history

Yes, you did well. Next time you know to have even stronger faith in your instincts and call 999. I still would return a child to school rather than home, especially as it was nearer, schools have protocols for these sort of issues.

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