Airplane drama!

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DD is a month shy of 4, and we’re flying into California for a hiking/camping trip. The flight is 5 hours, and we booked the cheapest one we could. Naturally, the space between rows of seating are insanely small (that’s what I get for scrimping, I suppose), and DD is at an awkward height where the edge of the seat is hitting her upper/mid calf, so her feet are forced outwards if she’s not sitting closer to the edge so that her knees can bend (if that makes sense?) She’s also inherited my boat feet, so the ends of her shoes are literally a couple centimeters from the seat in front of her.

She was having a hard time getting comfortable in her seat for take off, and every time she went to adjust herself, her feet moved and touched the seat in front of her. Not like, intentionally full force kicking the seat or anything (which I’ve definitely experienced in the past. I’m not sure a car seat would have helped with distancing her from it, either.) She also just fidgets a lot because, y’know, she’s a child. The woman sitting in it (I’m thinking she had to be in her late 40s, maybe 50s) turned around and directly told my daughter to stop kicking her seat. I reiterated to DD to sit still and try to keep her feet to herself.

She was struggling to do that, so I tried to have her lie down with her feet on my lap (it’s an early flight; she should be sleeping anyhow), but the flight attendant came by to say she needed to be sitting upright and facing forward for take off, so I put her back to where she was. A few minutes later, the woman turns around again and loudly snaps (almost shouting) “Stop kicking my seat! This is the last time I’m telling you!” Which, idk seems kind of like a threat ? I certainly would have spoken to the parent, not the child, and used different words, or involved the flight attendant if I was so bothered by something s/he was doing. And I know it’s certainly annoying to have someone touching your seat, and I was (audibly, I think) doing my best to keep that from happening. I apologized to the woman and kept trying to keep DD still.

A few minutes go by, and we’re about to start taxiing to the runway, and DD starts whining that she’s thirsty. (Me being a dummy dumb dumb, I left our drinks from the airport in the carry on I stowed) I told her they’ll bring us something to drink in a bit, once we’re in the air. I honestly think DD was being pretty patient, but she is tired, and started to cry after a while. (Full tears, definitely noisy, but not like, throwing a fit or anything.) I was desperately trying to get her headphones synched to my phone and a YouTube video pulled up in order to distract her. The fidgeting continued, of course.

The woman in front of us (WIFOU) started cursing in both English and Spanish (not turned around again, but definitely directed at us), saying things like “Shut the fuck up!”, “Son of a bitch! Make her stop!” “ And “I’m about to fucking develop Tourette’s!” Which I was aghast to hear in a cabin with lots of children in earshot, and also thought was pretty insensitive to people who actually have Tourette’s.. Her partner made comments about how it’s going to be a long flight and they weren’t going to get any sleep.

The swearing only made DD cry more. I didn’t say anything to them, but just kept working on quieting her down. Used bribes snacks, threats consequences, distractions, and promises, and eventually succeeded. Course, soon as mine stopped, another child started having a tantrum behind us. This elicited “Knock that thing out with some fucking drugs!” from WIFOU. I was surprised the flight attendant (FA) didn’t say anything to her about it. I thought, maybe she should be the one knocking herself out with drugs, but kept that to myself.

By twenty minutes into the flight, WIFOU and her partner had asked three times to be moved, but the only available seats were “upgraded” to be more comfortable and spacious, and cost an additional £60 each, and they refused to pay. The third time, the FA checked in with DD and I and gave me an obligatory “Can you have her stop kicking? I know she’s a child…” I told her “We’re trying,” and she nodded understandingly and went back to her duties.

The fourth time they asked to be moved/upgraded, they were getting irate. FA looked embarrassed to have to insist they pay for the better seats. I interjected and suggested that the couple switch rows with DD and I, so that at least she wouldn’t be behind them. This irritated the people sitting in the aisle seats, who had to get up to allow us to shuffle around, but it at least stopped their complaining. I was worried DD was going to piss off our new neighbors ahead, but thankfully it was a little boy sitting in front of DD, and he didn’t seem to notice
DD’s wiggling about… I finally just got her to sleep, 2.5 hours in.

I think next time we will either cough up the funds for more spacious seating or just fly via a different airline… But honestly, I see airplanes as just another form of public transportation that’s gonna have crying and fidgety kids on it, with parents ranging from desperately trying to keep their littles polite and unassuming, to entitled parents who think it’s their kids’ right to run wild and do as they please... If I didn’t want to hear or feel them, I’d probably wear my hearing protection I use for my job, and purchase the seat behind me. Usually I just put up with it, since I empathize. I don’t think children should have to miss out on traveling before they’re fully developed, either.

What’s your opinion?

😂😂😂
so no right?

at school in a routine is very different thing than to go on a very exciting trip. But I see your parents raised you well using nice language…and you aren’t 4, are u?

Congrats. It must be so great to be perfect!

Nothing worse when you're trying to relax and a child is kicking the back of your sear.

Having just got off a flight with a rowdy two year old who it was almost impossible to restrain despite my best efforts I'm on your side OP. My little one repeatedly hit the seat in front, wormed around and shook my seat so it probably annoyed the people behind, kept fiddling with the tray table, hit me in the face, threw stuff around etc. Each thing he only managed to do once before being restrained but it is impossible to physically restrain a small child constantly for hours.

Despite this massively annoying screaming shouting rowdy beast in our seat do you know what our neighbouring passengers did? Smiled at him and tried to distract him and/or ignored him. Whilst I totally get how annoying it is and could myself have inwardly been having the thoughts this woman verbalised, I would never ever have been outwardly so rude even in my worst moments. Your poor daughter.

Sounds horrendous… for everyone on your flight. Can’t imagine anything worse. Have travelled extensively wirh children and they’ve managed to behave and not kick seats. A bit of prep works wonders. I suggest you do this before your next flight, for the sake of your fellow passengers.

ime it’s clear which parents are doing their best (whether it works or not) and those who don’t try and hide behind excuses. It makes a big difference to how others react.

I've met thousands, and I've taught thousands in the last almost 30 years as well as raising three of my own.

This is PRECISELY the sort of parent I dread. A 4yo "will make you believe they will die in the next 5 sec without..."?? Are you an adult? Do you have a mature brain? YOU are the parent. It's YOUR job to tell your child to cut it out, of course they're not going to die if they don't get water RIGHT NOW (and while you're at it, you can tell them bratty demanding behaviour might just see them wait longer to get what they want).

This is not what being 4 is. This is what being an unparented and indulged 4yo is. Smh.

It is annoying when kids kick seats on a plane, but this woman was rude and she needs to remember that she also paid for the cheap seats.. swearing and chastising someone else’s kid in that way is out of order. She could have spoken to you or your daughter politely.

Don’t sweat it, she’s a dick and hopefully she’ll have the same experience on her return flight. I hope they lose her luggage.

Next time, make sure you take some chewing gum with you in case you encounter an equally obnoxious bint. You can chew it up and stick it in her hair.

Oh so in the routine classroom set up 👌

Did you go on holidays at all during these 30years of work?

Anyway, have a good evening.

b&llshit. Every child is different. have your child/children slavishly followed every order you have given them, especially in a new perhaps daunting environment? Say yes and you are clearly not telling the truth.

Honestly find that post embarrassing. I’m an early years teacher. I’ve met several kids who struggle to follow rules routines and boundaries consistently, because they are children

Recently i was on a plane and my seat was being kicked constantly.i said to my son who the hell is kicking my seat like that.well the grown woman and two friends heard and started banging with hands and kicking even more.I turned round as she was laughing away and said please stop kicking my seat,she then stopped.i don’t believe there was anything with this woman i think she was just doing it for the hell of it,as her friends were laughing too.i was mad i was trying to sleep as it was 1:30 am and i had to be at work for 9am.

Was it a necessary flight that you had to take with your 2 year old or was it just a holiday that he will never remember? The people were probably silently cursing you and wanted to be left alone in peace. Why do you think your desire to take your child on holiday who cannot behave on a flight trumps the peaceful enjoyment of others?

Exactly the same here children and grandchildren travelling at all ages. Never any problems with seat kicking.

OP clearly says she was stopping her daughter from kicking but she was fidgeting, how on earth you can stop a 4 year old from fidgeting is beyond me, completely differnt if a child is sitting there purposely kicking a chair but like OP said her daughter was fidgeting and which is totally normal for a 4 year old!

Is this a serious comment 😂 what do you expect people to leave there 2 year olds at home incase they might “annoy” a few grumpy adults. I just can’t work out how many people on here get that annoyed by children! Seriously what is happening these days! Everyone needs to chill out a bit, so happy I don’t no anyone who actually thinks this way.

A necessary flight. But either way I hardly think it reasonable to say no small children can go on holidays because it might annoy someone if they disrupt them for a couple of hours. On the way out he was beautifully behaved. Unfortunately on the way back flight was very delayed and he was exhausted hence being rowdy. Out of my control unfortunately, I had booked a flight time that would usually have been fine and easy for him. I'm sure many passengers were annoyed. So was I quite frankly, including with other people's screaming kids as lots of little ones were similarly distressed. But this is how it goes in flights where you can't do much about it as a parent, as OP says, you are all stuck there. We all just need to be a bit tolerant - within reason of course. If I worked in the airline industry I'd offer some adult only flights at a slightly higher price and family flights at a slightly lower price. Families could benefit from a lower fee but adults would have the choice to pay more to travel on an adult only flight. But in reality I expect very few people would decide they'd rather pay more for an adult only flight which is why people book in economy not business.

Mumsnet is nuts and full of so many people who seem to hate kids considering it’s MUMSnet 😆 I’ve had someone physically assault my 1 year old because she could feel his tiny little legs touching her seat, princess and the pea and her husband threatened to make him (just turned 1 year old) “pay” for upsetting her! OP the majority of responses here aren’t reflective of the majority of responses IRL. Also if anyone can explain how without being abusive one manages to make a toddler do what they’re told when they’re told at all times please share your secret!

You shouldn’t have to explain yourself you are 100% entitled to take you toddler on a plane I can’t believe someone even asked you if it was necessary 🤷‍♀️ I just came back from holiday and my 2 year old was a nightmare on the way but luckily slept the whole way home but there was atleast 4 other young children near me that screamed most of the journey and it broke my heart to hear them so distressed I can’t imagen feeling angry or annoyed by them I just really felt for them and there parents, I thought most people had been through having kids on planes so they could sympathise with others. Even before I had kids I’ve never been bothered about noise or my chair being knocked, I no how stressful it is to fly as an adult let alone being a child.

There is nothing more annoying that a child kicking the back of your seat. I cannot imagine anyone getting as irate as you describe the people in front of your DC wasn’t actually kicking them, I think you are belittling how annoying they were being.

Can't stop laughing at this batshit reply 😂😂😂

Deary me....

Do you think they do it on purpose?

Yes Sir! Grip Taken!