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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not pay for DSS to travel Business Class?

321 replies

Donewithitt · 10/05/2025 21:43

Looking at booking flights UK to Australia for DH and I. We weren’t sure if DSS (18) would want to come as it’s to see family. Mentioned it to DSS and he’s keen to come, and might stay for longer. We are only going for 2 weeks due to work commitments. We are ready to book now, DSS hasn’t worked out what he wants to do yet. AIBU to book DH and I business class flights now while they are still reasonably priced then DSS can travel in economy once he knows what he wants to do. Also we won’t be paying for his travel forever so want him to realise that!

OP posts:
Franpie · 10/05/2025 23:48

We’re flying to NYC next year and I’ve bought business for me and DH and economy for our teens. They’re lucky that they get to have fancy holidays all over the world with little expense spared. Like hell am I forking out for BC for them on top. They can fly BC when they can pay for it themselves!

Numberfish · 10/05/2025 23:49

Subwaystop · 10/05/2025 22:54

Wow. Worst take on mumsnet I’ve ever seen. It’s abusive now for the elders to have more privileges than the young children? Children get to go no contact with parents because the parents who paid for luxuries had better privileges than the children? Utterly shocking. It’s fine if you want to spoil your children with business class, but kids can usually handle these flights much better than their seniors so it makes so much more sense for them to be in economy. Nothing wrong with showing that the elders who pay have more privileges than the children who should be deeply grateful for the gifts. Teaching kids that they are not equal to the parents and should be grateful is a good thing.

Haha this is satire, right? No one could actually think that prefering to sit in a different luxury part of the plane on long haul FROM YOUR CHILDREN is in any way defensible, moral parenting 😂

FlowerUser · 10/05/2025 23:52

Put him in economy but pay for an exit row.

Parker231 · 10/05/2025 23:52

Franpie · 10/05/2025 23:48

We’re flying to NYC next year and I’ve bought business for me and DH and economy for our teens. They’re lucky that they get to have fancy holidays all over the world with little expense spared. Like hell am I forking out for BC for them on top. They can fly BC when they can pay for it themselves!

Edited

DT’s are working and can afford their own business class flights but I’m happy to treat them to it.

ArtTheClown · 10/05/2025 23:54

Jesus Christ on a bike. I never understood how people grew up to be angry and self-centred and lacking in empathy until I read this post. What appalling parenting.

An 18 year old in economy plus. Appalling! I hope the airline contact social services about the abuse.

ArtTheClown · 10/05/2025 23:56

Haha this is satire, right? No one could actually think that prefering to sit in a different luxury part of the plane on long haul FROM YOUR CHILDREN is in any way defensible, moral parenting 😂

Granted, if they were toddlers it might be a bit much.

But I'm sure an 18 year old man will cope with the hardship of a free ticket.

RandomWordsThrownTogether · 10/05/2025 23:57

My aunt flies business from Aus and puts her adult kids in economy. They got annoyed about it the first time but she pointed out that she would be lucky to get long haul flights at their age, she spent most of her life flying economy and can now afford business due to lots of hard work and she also is older with a few aches and pains so finds she needs the extra comfort. Honestly he is getting a free ticket, I don’t see the problem. If you took another kid in business and left him in economy that would be different. As someone else said you can spell it out to him - he can sit with you if he books now but if prices go up he is in economy.

redcord · 10/05/2025 23:57

I think at some point with adult children, you have to do you first, because they (rightly) have their own lives and timetables.

I mean, 18 is kind of the younger side of 'adult' but I have learned that hanging around while you wait for young people to commit is frustrating and can lead to a more expensive option, or a compromise plan that isn't what you really wanted in the first place.

Thegodfatherreturns · 10/05/2025 23:57

I think understandable that you don't want to pay business class for everyone if on a budget but you're not on a budget if happy to pay 1000s for slightly better food and a wider seat. Either pay business for everyone or economy for everyone.

TeenLifeMum · 10/05/2025 23:58

Flighter · 10/05/2025 22:09

I’m shocked by the comments on here saying you should pay for business class for your DSS! To Australia that’s going to be a difference of a couple of thousand pounds at least between economy & business surely? I mean, if you are very wealthy then go for it. We are pretty well off and sometimes travel in different classes than the children. Sometimes we are all in business, sometimes all in economy. One child doesn’t care. One child occasionally complains (and gets a gentle reminder of how lucky they are to be going somewhere on holiday however they get there!)

I’m shocked parents would upgrade and travel separately to their dc. That would be called a “dick move” in my circles. Just because you’ve justified it to yourself doesn’t mean it’s fine. We travel as a family - but I do like them.

MrsPlantagenet · 10/05/2025 23:59

Unthinkable.

You all travel in the same class.

Izzabellasasperella · 11/05/2025 00:00

OopsIforgotmyname · 10/05/2025 21:50

Give him the choice, commit now and you pay for business class or if he waits then it will be economy if prices have gone up.

I think this is fair.

TeenLifeMum · 11/05/2025 00:00

I think you need to have an honest and open conversation that you’d go for business class for you all but as his decision is delayed, if prices go above X amount then you’d only be able to cover economy, he can either take that or top up the difference. As long as it’s openly discussed it’s fine.

TeenLifeMum · 11/05/2025 00:04

ArtTheClown · 10/05/2025 23:54

Jesus Christ on a bike. I never understood how people grew up to be angry and self-centred and lacking in empathy until I read this post. What appalling parenting.

An 18 year old in economy plus. Appalling! I hope the airline contact social services about the abuse.

Edited

It’s not about that though. If they were all travelling economy class then it wouldn’t be an issue. Here it’s the treating others differently that’s the issue. With timelines and likely price increases it’s totally fair and just needs a conversation. The posters saying they travel business and dc travel economy and that’s “normal” probably need to read the strategy homes threads on here.

ArtTheClown · 11/05/2025 00:04

I genuinely am so confused at the shock and horror at this.

It's okay for parents to have a better lifestyle than their adult children. We all have to earn it!

DublinLaLaLa · 11/05/2025 00:07

Parker231 · 10/05/2025 23:02

Yes we all travel in business regardless- we have a significant amount of reward points from my travel at work over the last 25 years (have lifetime gold status with an couple of airlines) and pay any shortfall in cash.

Show quote history

But that isn’t the same - you aren’t paying full whack for a business class ticket. It’s a completely different scenario if you’re paying with points.

Thegodfatherreturns · 11/05/2025 00:08

RandomWordsThrownTogether · 10/05/2025 23:57

My aunt flies business from Aus and puts her adult kids in economy. They got annoyed about it the first time but she pointed out that she would be lucky to get long haul flights at their age, she spent most of her life flying economy and can now afford business due to lots of hard work and she also is older with a few aches and pains so finds she needs the extra comfort. Honestly he is getting a free ticket, I don’t see the problem. If you took another kid in business and left him in economy that would be different. As someone else said you can spell it out to him - he can sit with you if he books now but if prices go up he is in economy.

I think that is a pretty ignorant thing to say given most people spend their lives flying economy (if at all) despite working hard and despite aches and pains though. They may not say anything now but will probably look back on it when they are older and not see her in a good light.

Thunderpants88 · 11/05/2025 00:09

I would give him the choice to pay the difference. Say the economy ticket is £1000 and business is £2500 offer him to pay the extra if he wishes.

People on this thread need to give their heads a wobble. I was an EA to a CEO with ridiculous amounts of money. Her and her husband frequently flew business or first and kids in economy.

A flight and holiday to Australia is already a huge privilege, there is zero need to upgrade a treat and further.

DublinLaLaLa · 11/05/2025 00:09

Parker231 · 10/05/2025 23:52

DT’s are working and can afford their own business class flights but I’m happy to treat them to it.

Show quote history

With points! Not the same!

Thegodfatherreturns · 11/05/2025 00:11

ArtTheClown · 11/05/2025 00:04

I genuinely am so confused at the shock and horror at this.

It's okay for parents to have a better lifestyle than their adult children. We all have to earn it!

It's not the same as having a better lifestyle. It is more like going to a restaurant with your family and ordering yourself the most expensive dish and telling your children that they can only have a starter.

ArtTheClown · 11/05/2025 00:15

It's not the same as having a better lifestyle. It is more like going to a restaurant with your family and ordering yourself the most expensive dish and telling your children that they can only have a starter.

I don't think it's remotely similar. On a long flight I read, watch films and sleep, I don't socialise.

In addition, the reason this very privileged young man is "only" getting a long haul economy ticket is his own faffing around.

Thegodfatherreturns · 11/05/2025 00:19

ArtTheClown · 11/05/2025 00:15

It's not the same as having a better lifestyle. It is more like going to a restaurant with your family and ordering yourself the most expensive dish and telling your children that they can only have a starter.

I don't think it's remotely similar. On a long flight I read, watch films and sleep, I don't socialise.

In addition, the reason this very privileged young man is "only" getting a long haul economy ticket is his own faffing around.

Edited

I didn't say anything about socialising.

ArtTheClown · 11/05/2025 00:20

didn't say anything about socialising.

Well then I have no idea what would make it similar to a social occasion, such as going out for dinner.

SheilaFentiman · 11/05/2025 00:20

So if OP and DH wanted to go to Oz without 18 year old DS, I doubt anyone would have a problem?

But if they want him to sit in a different part of the plane, that’s a huge problem to some?

OK…

Franpie · 11/05/2025 00:21

Thegodfatherreturns · 11/05/2025 00:11

It's not the same as having a better lifestyle. It is more like going to a restaurant with your family and ordering yourself the most expensive dish and telling your children that they can only have a starter.

Show quote history

No it’s not, it’s like going to a fancy restaurant and telling your kids that no, they can’t have the foie gras for starters and the chateaubriand as their main, even if their parents are.

Why is everyone so shocked that parents can have a slightly higher standard of living than their children? Adult children at that! I have expensive hair and beauty products, my teen DD doesn’t. My moisturiser costs £110, the one I buy her costs £20. My shampoo is £30, hers is £3.50. Not spending the same on your children as you do for yourself is completely normal in the real world.