To not pay for DSS to travel Business Class?

[Donewithitt]

Looking at booking flights UK to Australia for DH and I. We weren’t sure if DSS (18) would want to come as it’s to see family. Mentioned it to DSS and he’s keen to come, and might stay for longer. We are only going for 2 weeks due to work commitments. We are ready to book now, DSS hasn’t worked out what he wants to do yet. AIBU to book DH and I business class flights now while they are still reasonably priced then DSS can travel in economy once he knows what he wants to do. Also we won’t be paying for his travel forever so want him to realise that!

18 yr old can go economy.

We flew to NYC business and our two girls were in economy. They can get business tickets when they've earnt it

But you ( and them) are obviously VERY well off. Majority of people are not in that position.

Tbh at 18 I could deal with flying economy without too many side effects. I try and do that now in my 50s and I'm full of aches and pains for the week after each week

Another option is looking to fly from a European airport as tends to be cheaper ( not all of them )

Why you wouldn't want to share your good fortune with your own children is beyond me. Are we seriously suggesting that unless the adult SS sits in economy and his parents in business he will somehow lose all understanding of money and the need to earn some to support himself. Ridiculous.

No, I just don't think that's a big deal - a healthy 18 year old getting a free, already very expensive holiday, is fine in economy.

I suspect this young man will receive generous help to get on the property ladder too, when the time comes.

Feeling sorry for a very lucky, privileged guy who is getting a dream holiday for free is a bit misplaced.

But you are missing the point. Of course he will be fine in economy, and of course it sounds like a lovely holiday, none of that was in question. His parents would also be fine in economy. Me personally I could never sit in business while my holiday companions sat in economy, and I especially wouldn't do that to a step child. I think the message this gives is far more harmful than the message he would get from being equally included the his families travel plans. I think the idea that an adult being treated to a business class seat with his parents would somehow become spoilt or unable to understand money is quite ludicrous. I imagine he would simply be grateful and appreciative and less likely to become selfish with his own resources or good fortune.

Read the whole thread.

Perfectly reasonable. Dss decides now and gets business class otherwise he sorts himself out

But you are missing the point. Of course he will be fine in economy, and of course it sounds like a lovely holiday, none of that was in question. His parents would also be fine in economy. Me personally I could never sit in business while my holiday companions sat in economy, and I especially wouldn't do that to a step child. I think the message this gives is far more harmful than the message he would get from being equally included the his families travel plans.

I'm not missing the point at all, I just have a different perspective to you.
I could happily sit in business and park the kids in economy, sadly my budget doesn't even extend to business for me.

If a stepchild got put in business while the other children got the business class treatment then maybe an issue, but then again if the stepchild is a young adult and the other children are small then I think it would be fine, just not treated differently at similar ages.

Why you wouldn't want to share your good fortune with your own children is beyond me Are we seriously suggesting that unless the adult SS sits in economy and his parents in business he will somehow lose all understanding of money and the need to earn some to support himself. Ridiculous

I’m speaking for myself and my DC here but honestly as my DC have grown up I have feared that there is a real risk that they don’t learn the value of money.

my DC share in our family financial good fortune in a million and one different ways. They’ve never had to worry about where they live (rent is paid) or how they get about (they’ve been bought cars and have access to my uber account); whether they can say yes to an opportunity to travel with friends or move part way round the world for work experience, the tab gets paid. They want for very little and I firmly believe that occasionally they should want for something.

So whilst they’ve never had to work a regular PT job, I have expected them to work a few weeks over the summer in the family business; whilst we have private healthcare I do expect them to pay up front and I’ll reimburse them when they’ve filed the expenses AND if they’ve been to a friends chalet in verbier and want to join us elsewhere I’ll book them economy.

no one needs to feel sad for them 🤣

I don't think you flying business class while they fly economy is going to teach them the "value of money" if you are paying all their rent, and every other expense and they don't have to work for a living. Rather than focusing on money perhaps you should be helping them to have a sense of purpose and to want to add value to the world.

Such a great example of how you can’t do right for wrong on MN! For every poster berating you for not permitting random business class flights, there’s someone digging at you for apparently paying all their expenses 🤣

I'm not digging at you for paying their expenses. I think it's fine for you to do that. I just think it's a bit bizarre that you think them flying economy and you flying business is going to make the difference between them knowing the value of money and not knowing the value of money. 😂

Is that you Kirsty Allsopp?

You’re basically reading every comment that doesn’t agree with you through the lens of what you want that comment to mean, rather than trying to understand the other person’s point of view. Classic Mumsnet!

Thanks everyone for commenting. We are booking this weekend. DSS hasn’t decided what he wants to do yet, so he can go economy once he decides.
He might be travelling with my parents (also flying BC), with us or he might travel alone.

Hope ye have a great trip OP - sounds great!!

P.s. if you've space for 1 more I'll make myself available ;)

I think you’re wise to make the decision to book rather than waiting while he delays.

I would be tempted to transfer him the cost of the plane ticket now, so he’s galvanised into making the decision. That way you have covered the cost of the BC ticket (which is what you agreed if he committed promptly) , but he has responsibility for what he organises and how he spends the funds.

@Inertia- absolutely no way are we giving an 18 year old 6k to organise and make the decision on how he spends the funds……the point is, he hasn’t committed, nor does he any intention to do so promptly 🤯

@Donewithitt You are doing the right thing. Teenagers and decisions!

“so he can go economy once he decides.”

I can’t believe you will leave your son to manage the equivalent of moldy bread 😂

I’m just making jest of the other poster, have a lovely trip.

Yes - that free trip to Australia is just so awful!

@Inertia

why??