Page 12 | To not pay for DSS to travel Business Class?

Donewithitt · 2025-05-10T20:43:14+00:00

Looking at booking flights UK to Australia for DH and I. We weren’t sure if DSS (18) would want to come as it’s to see family. Mentioned it to DSS and he’s keen to come, and might stay for longer. We are only going for 2 weeks due to work commitments. We are ready to book now, DSS hasn’t worked out what he wants to do yet. AIBU to book DH and I business class flights now while they are still reasonably priced then DSS can travel in economy once he knows what he wants to do. Also we won’t be paying for his travel forever so want him to realise that!

FedupofArsenalgame · 11/05/2025 23:15

TeenLifeMum · 11/05/2025 00:04

It’s not about that though. If they were all travelling economy class then it wouldn’t be an issue. Here it’s the treating others differently that’s the issue. With timelines and likely price increases it’s totally fair and just needs a conversation. The posters saying they travel business and dc travel economy and that’s “normal” probably need to read the strategy homes threads on here.

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But he's not being expected to pay for any of it. If he was paying then could be treated equally so don't see the" how it's treating others differently " scenario

I took my Ds on a holiday to Thailand in business class ( 21st birthday present) . To get a decent price we flew via Cairo. On the return Cai to UK leg I was in biz ( award ticket) and he was I economy. He was perfectly OK there and didn't give a damn really.

Labraradabrador · 11/05/2025 23:51

Codlingmoths · 11/05/2025 22:38

But is that relevant to this thread?if you’re an 18yo and you won’t take a paid flight to Australia unless it’s business class that would cement in my mind that parenting mistakes have been made, this 18yo is spoilt rotten, and the absolute last thing you should do is pay for them to travel business. They can either live their entire life never going to Australia, and if they ever say the reason out loud to other people watch all of their faces change as they realise how spoilt and immature this man really is, or they can work their butt off and spend it on business class flights.
there are no holidays I would refuse on the grounds of I’m not flying business. I’ve lived on 3 continents, and taken children travelling long haul on economy, most recently a week ago with 3, 6 & 9 year olds.

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Replying to another post? How is your post relevant to this thread?

changeme4this · 12/05/2025 01:39

I don’t recall any mention if he is still a student or working ? That’s my bench mark if you pay for him or not…

if he is a student, then bookings are made as a family (in our case) and any cling-ons such as GF’s etc pay their own way.

but he makes his mind up now if he is travelling as part of the family unit or not (ie no cashing in the bc seat to pay for a cling on).

he is either in or not for the occasion.

DancingNotDrowning · 12/05/2025 07:35

Winter2020 · 11/05/2025 20:59

This is a really interesting thread because there are two distinct sides genuinely shocked at the others opinion.

I think it would be really interesting to know if opinion on this subject correlates with wealth as I suspect.

I suspect lower income people (like me to declare my bias) are shocked at the idea of booking the cheaper separate seat for a young adult because we are used to putting our kids first financially like getting them a take away when we can't afford one for ourselves, buying them clarkes school shoes when ours are off vinted or paying for their school trip abroad when we can't afford to go abroad ourselves. So attitudes like the quote (willing to pay ££££ for ourself but only £ for the kids) seem very alien.

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I also suspect you are right.

I can afford to give my DC pretty much anything they want. The truth is they’ll never struggle financially BUT I am also firmly of the view that they must learn to be independent and understand the value of money and I can do that by not pandering to every want.

So I do say no to some of the things that really don’t matter. Including business v economy seats. Other examples are I might buy DCs the occasional designer outfit but mostly I buy their clothes from the high street; I’ll pay for the DDs to get their hair cut and highlighted but they don’t get to use my salon shampoo; I’ll pay for their gym membership but if they want a PT that’s on them.

blubbyblub · 12/05/2025 07:58

DancingNotDrowning · 12/05/2025 07:35

I also suspect you are right.

I can afford to give my DC pretty much anything they want. The truth is they’ll never struggle financially BUT I am also firmly of the view that they must learn to be independent and understand the value of money and I can do that by not pandering to every want.

So I do say no to some of the things that really don’t matter. Including business v economy seats. Other examples are I might buy DCs the occasional designer outfit but mostly I buy their clothes from the high street; I’ll pay for the DDs to get their hair cut and highlighted but they don’t get to use my salon shampoo; I’ll pay for their gym membership but if they want a PT that’s on them.

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Haha. You are me. Down to exactly the same choices 😁

ArtTheClown · 12/05/2025 08:13

I suspect lower income people (like me to declare my bias) are shocked at the idea of booking the cheaper separate seat for a young adult because we are used to putting our kids first financially like getting them a take away when we can't afford one for ourselves, buying them clarkes school shoes when ours are off vinted or paying for their school trip abroad when we can't afford to go abroad ourselves. So attitudes like the quote (willing to pay ££££ for ourself but only £ for the kids) seem very alien.

I think this nails it. And both are actually good parenting. Putting children's needs first is. But not spoiling them too much when you have the means is too.

FedupofArsenalgame · 12/05/2025 08:15

ArtTheClown · 12/05/2025 08:13

I suspect lower income people (like me to declare my bias) are shocked at the idea of booking the cheaper separate seat for a young adult because we are used to putting our kids first financially like getting them a take away when we can't afford one for ourselves, buying them clarkes school shoes when ours are off vinted or paying for their school trip abroad when we can't afford to go abroad ourselves. So attitudes like the quote (willing to pay ££££ for ourself but only £ for the kids) seem very alien.

I think this nails it. And both are actually good parenting. Putting children's needs first is. But not spoiling them too much when you have the means is too.

Needs yes Wants not necessarily

Bobafett2020 · 12/05/2025 11:09

Donewithitt · 11/05/2025 00:57

DH thinks it’s a good life lesson for DSS and also marks the transition between adult and child holidays. Obviously previously what even cabin we’ve been in he has, everything from easy jet to BC to Australia (last year). He’s previously said he isn’t bothered, but it’s a long flight and I think I’d find it hard going in economy now! He might not even be on the same flight as us - might go earlier stay later. We pay for all his hotels / meals etc when we get there - so I don’t think he is getting too bad a deal. But there is a part of me that wants to treat him - but it’s a lot of money and I get DH point that you have to earn the nice things and we could do more with that money for him that he’d see the benefit from.

Ugg. I would never travel in a different class with anybody I was holidaying with, related or not. If you can't afford it for everbody then all go economy. Maybe a good lesson for DSS would be that he is treated the same as all other family members and also that if you are privileged enough to be able to travel business class you should share that privilege with your family members. This 'working hard to pay for it' is a nonsense when you look at the completely different economic circumstances facing young people (if you can ever actually correlate wealth and hard work, which I dispute). Never understand people who can do this, I'd just feel awful.

Thegodfatherreturns · 12/05/2025 12:39

Bobafett2020 · 12/05/2025 11:09

Ugg. I would never travel in a different class with anybody I was holidaying with, related or not. If you can't afford it for everbody then all go economy. Maybe a good lesson for DSS would be that he is treated the same as all other family members and also that if you are privileged enough to be able to travel business class you should share that privilege with your family members. This 'working hard to pay for it' is a nonsense when you look at the completely different economic circumstances facing young people (if you can ever actually correlate wealth and hard work, which I dispute). Never understand people who can do this, I'd just feel awful.

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I agree. The inference that everyone who can't afford to buy business class is inferior and doesn't work hard enough is a bit repulsive too.

SheilaFentiman · 12/05/2025 12:53

Which posts implied that not being able to buy business class is 'inferior'?

Thegodfatherreturns · 12/05/2025 12:56

SheilaFentiman · 12/05/2025 12:53

Which posts implied that not being able to buy business class is 'inferior'?

quite a few.

DancingNotDrowning · 12/05/2025 13:05

Thegodfatherreturns · 12/05/2025 12:39

I agree. The inference that everyone who can't afford to buy business class is inferior and doesn't work hard enough is a bit repulsive too.

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Absolutely no one has stated or suggested that.

Thegodfatherreturns · 12/05/2025 13:20

DancingNotDrowning · 12/05/2025 13:05

Absolutely no one has stated or suggested that.

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You don't think all the posters saying that their DC go in economy class while they go in business to teach them that they need to "work hard" imply that people who fly economy haven't worked hard enough? One poster who flies in a different class to her DC (and doesn't allow them to eat the same food in restaurants when they are together) has even said that they are superior and her children "know their place" and they know that they are not equal to her and her DH.

loveawineloveacrisp · 12/05/2025 13:29

OopsIforgotmyname · 10/05/2025 21:50

Give him the choice, commit now and you pay for business class or if he waits then it will be economy if prices have gone up.

Kind of agree with this but also kind of confused as to why you're paying for him, rather than your husband?

SheilaFentiman · 12/05/2025 13:31

You don't think all the posters saying that their DC go in economy class while they go in business to teach them that they need to "work hard" imply that people who fly economy haven't worked hard enough?

Nope, I don't think that.

mondaytosunday · 12/05/2025 13:34

Nope all travel same class.

DancingNotDrowning · 12/05/2025 13:48

Thegodfatherreturns · 12/05/2025 13:20

You don't think all the posters saying that their DC go in economy class while they go in business to teach them that they need to "work hard" imply that people who fly economy haven't worked hard enough? One poster who flies in a different class to her DC (and doesn't allow them to eat the same food in restaurants when they are together) has even said that they are superior and her children "know their place" and they know that they are not equal to her and her DH.

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Wow that’s quite the reach, careful you don’t fall!

Most posters - me included - who have said their DC don’t get the same perks/treatment/benefits have been very clear that the reason is because we want our DC to appreciate the value of money. It’s not that deep 🤷‍♀️

Thegodfatherreturns · 12/05/2025 13:59

DancingNotDrowning · 12/05/2025 13:48

Wow that’s quite the reach, careful you don’t fall!

Most posters - me included - who have said their DC don’t get the same perks/treatment/benefits have been very clear that the reason is because we want our DC to appreciate the value of money. It’s not that deep 🤷‍♀️

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People haven't just said that it is to teach them the "value of money" although even that comment is dubious. Do you think that those who fly in the same class aren't teaching their children the value of money?

Parker231 · 12/05/2025 14:23

DancingNotDrowning · 12/05/2025 13:48

Wow that’s quite the reach, careful you don’t fall!

Most posters - me included - who have said their DC don’t get the same perks/treatment/benefits have been very clear that the reason is because we want our DC to appreciate the value of money. It’s not that deep 🤷‍♀️

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I’m happy to continue to provide adult DT’s with business class flights funded either from my airmiles or my cash.
DT’s financially don’t need to work but both have worked hard to get 1st class degrees and professional careers. As DH and I don’t live on the same continent of either of them, anything which makes their travel to visit us more comfortable is a good use of my money. Both appreciate the value of money, hard work and the advantages that they have been given.
There will never be a situation DH and I travel in business whilst DT’s are in economy.

MoosakaWithFries · 12/05/2025 14:32

YANBU

He's an adult and getting his trip paid for him. I would do the same for my own DC and also SDC.

ArtTheClown · 12/05/2025 14:37

You don't think all the posters saying that their DC go in economy class while they go in business to teach them that they need to "work hard" imply that people who fly economy haven't worked hard enough?

I didn't see it like that at all. It's more like as a young adult, you've not had the chance to work your way up to earn the perks of a well-off person yet. And maybe they never will, and that's fine too, but once they reach adulthood it's time not to enjoy the lifestyle you yourself can't afford and haven't worked for.

Is it unfair if the parents have a large 5-bed home and their young adult children a one bedroom flat? Or the parents drive a 60K car while the children drive a second-hand Micra?
No, of course not. That's how it is, starting out vs being established. You work your way up to affording luxuries, they're not handed to you on a plate.

The son/stepson is still getting his ticket paid for, and possibly that of his girlfriend, as well as hotels etc while there. That's already incredibly generous, and including him in the family holiday. He doesn't need extra unearned perks on top of that.

DancingNotDrowning · 12/05/2025 15:21

Thegodfatherreturns · 12/05/2025 13:59

People haven't just said that it is to teach them the "value of money" although even that comment is dubious. Do you think that those who fly in the same class aren't teaching their children the value of money?

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Well why don’t you show where “people” have said otherwise.

as for your suggestion that someone who uses flying in different classes as a teachable moment regarding value and priorities is implying that those who fly in the same class aren’t teaching the value of money, you’re being absurd.

flying in different classes is a visible and intentional choice which can provide DC with clear lessons about resources and priorities. Whether those flying economy teach the same values in different ways isn’t in dispute— how would I have any idea, and it’s not the point being made.

DancingNotDrowning · 12/05/2025 15:23

Parker231 · 12/05/2025 14:23

I’m happy to continue to provide adult DT’s with business class flights funded either from my airmiles or my cash.
DT’s financially don’t need to work but both have worked hard to get 1st class degrees and professional careers. As DH and I don’t live on the same continent of either of them, anything which makes their travel to visit us more comfortable is a good use of my money. Both appreciate the value of money, hard work and the advantages that they have been given.
There will never be a situation DH and I travel in business whilst DT’s are in economy.

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Good for you - that’s your position. Mine and a number of other posters is different.

like yours my DC don’t need to work. They choose to use their money as they choose and I choose to use mine as I do.

OnceLostForMillennia · 12/05/2025 15:30

There is nothing wrong with your approach at all. Unless you have the kind of generational wealth that would make this look cheap, then I can’t imagine any 18 year old expecting to be bought business class seats. Buying economy to Australia is expensive, Business Class is vastly expensive - especially when they are not sure yet whether they want to come or not. I can only thing this would be unfair if you were treating two different children differently - e.g. buying one business the other economy. That is not the case here. I think most parents of adult children or older teens would do the same (if the could afford it).

Bobafett2020 · 12/05/2025 16:09

ArtTheClown · 12/05/2025 14:37

You don't think all the posters saying that their DC go in economy class while they go in business to teach them that they need to "work hard" imply that people who fly economy haven't worked hard enough?

I didn't see it like that at all. It's more like as a young adult, you've not had the chance to work your way up to earn the perks of a well-off person yet. And maybe they never will, and that's fine too, but once they reach adulthood it's time not to enjoy the lifestyle you yourself can't afford and haven't worked for.

Is it unfair if the parents have a large 5-bed home and their young adult children a one bedroom flat? Or the parents drive a 60K car while the children drive a second-hand Micra?
No, of course not. That's how it is, starting out vs being established. You work your way up to affording luxuries, they're not handed to you on a plate.

The son/stepson is still getting his ticket paid for, and possibly that of his girlfriend, as well as hotels etc while there. That's already incredibly generous, and including him in the family holiday. He doesn't need extra unearned perks on top of that.

Honestly yes a lot of that is unfair. It's unfair that our generation benefitted from cheaper house prices and more secure work. The younger generation will struggle to ever own their own home without help from their parents and that's nothing to do with how hard they do, or will ever work. Why you wouldn't want to share your good fortune with your own children is beyond me. Are we seriously suggesting that unless the adult SS sits in economy and his parents in business he will somehow lose all understanding of money and the need to earn some to support himself. Ridiculous.