To not pay for DSS to travel Business Class?

[Donewithitt]

Looking at booking flights UK to Australia for DH and I. We weren’t sure if DSS (18) would want to come as it’s to see family. Mentioned it to DSS and he’s keen to come, and might stay for longer. We are only going for 2 weeks due to work commitments. We are ready to book now, DSS hasn’t worked out what he wants to do yet. AIBU to book DH and I business class flights now while they are still reasonably priced then DSS can travel in economy once he knows what he wants to do. Also we won’t be paying for his travel forever so want him to realise that!

Cheeky? It could be seen as humiliating unless you explain that you can't afford it or have another good reason.

Or he could just be grateful someone is paying for him to go to Australia!

Since he is 18, he may be waiting for school exam schedules/ end of term dates to be posted. So he may not be able to commit until he knows that. The poster and her husband may be taking that into account (or may be doing it passively aggressively bc they don't want him along). So the reason he can't commit may be important. The step mother (purposely or not) has not clarified that.

Humiliating????

Buying someone a holiday is humiliating?

How, exactly?

If he is sitting A levels or similar, dates have been known for ages.

Economy is fine for a 20-year-old. While I now appreciate business travel I didn’t need it when I was that age. You’ll be treating him to things while you’re in Oz? A flight - even to Australia - is a short period of time. Most 20-year-olds I know would think business class flights for themselves a total waste of money and better spent on meals etc

Bloody hell I must live on another planet. I would have no qualms at all about booking him an economy seat. My son is 20 so not much older and he's thrilled to still be invited on our holidays - we've said he can come until he finishes uni. He reckons it's really jammy to get a free long haul holiday.

His dad is 64 with some health issues and struggles to sleep comfortably and I have osteoarthritis. The kids (including 6 ft son) seem to sleep fine in eco seats, as i did at that age. We have discussed that if we can get a reasonably priced upgrade to business for our night flight to the far east, we will be booking that for us two and leaving the kids in economy. They didn't bat an eyelid.

We don't have air miles or anything like that so it's a considerable expense and upgrade cost will be prioritised for the family members who most need it (health and comfort) and deserve it (worked full time all year to pay for the holiday). I'm nearly 51 and have never yet flown business. I feel utterly destroyed after a night flight with barely any sleep and one of us usually then has to drive and "manage" the next steps whereas the kids can just veg. I feel I've earned my stripes. The kids have not!

Does anyone "need" business travel?

Well I don't "need" Estee Lauder make up but as I can afford it for myself now that is what I prefer and it looks and feels nicer on my skin than the no17 and Rimmel of my youth, which was the budget option paid for by my Saturday job money. I now earn a lot more and have older, thirstier so why wouldn't I choose the better option for myself?

Meanwhile my daughter buys Elf products with her pocket money. If she demanded I buy her Estee Lauder because it's better she'd get pretty short shrift.

Yeap…

was harsh for no reason…you offer to book him a flight and you are told that you are vile! 😒

honestly, if he isn’t sure then I wouldn’t book…just let him decide?

If I was him and if I was offered a business class flight, I'd be asking if I could have the difference in price over an economy ticket to put towards the extension of my holiday.

Given that you're only going for 2 weeks, business class flights will make a big difference to how much you can enjoy the time. I'd be recommending your son frees up 3-4 weeks (or longer) and makes the most of it.

(coi dual national and have done many variations on the flight between London and Sydney over the years - but always economy. My mother has done even more and only once flew business class, on my father's last visit. She hoped to fly business one more time but decided she'd keep the extra in her retirement funds!)

I think economy is fine for him. At 18 he should be able to get himself around an airport and maybe not even get the same flight as you if his timetable doesn't allow. He's not 8, he's 18.

We had a long haul holiday booked using a 2 for I voucher on airmiles . My husband traveled massively for work and had plenty of air miles - it was actually quite hard to use them on some popular routes so he bought 2 first class ( I x air miles doubled) . My daughter, 18, made a last minute request to come with us, after plans to go with a friend fell through - changing hotel rooms etc was easy but the only flight option was to pay for an economy class for her. I felt a bit sorry for her but she was fine and was chatting to some backpackers her age both ways - she was just happy to have a free trip .

I went on a few trips with my husband where he took holiday days to add on after a business trip - him up in business, paid for, and me back in premium plus or economy. Didn’t bother me.

You said that you didn't "need" business class when you were 20 though. Why is that relevant if you don't need it now either.

As mentioned above I do now have osteoarthritis which I (thankfully) didn't at age 20. Used to sleep fine crammed in my economy seat. Sadly now do not. So I don't "need" it in the sense that I won't die after one night without sleep but it makes a crap start to a hard earned holiday and also not great if I need to drive once we arrive.

That is fair enough.

If I’m paying for my young adult DSs and their GFs to come with us on a £50k holiday to Mauritius they can flipping well fly economy and be grateful for it. I’m not adding an extra £16-20k for them to fly business
amazingly they are grateful as they would never be able to stay at the places we book and they have a fantastic time

My DC aren’t spoilt. They’ve had the most phenomenal holidays to extraordinary places. They’re flown business class throughout their young childhood as I wouldn’t put a small child in a different cabin. Now that they are adults they fly economy if we are paying as they are not entitled brats. They have no issues with it. Not even a flicker. They know we are taking them on holidays they’ll probably never be able to afford to go on and they’re properly grateful.

we are paying. It’s our money and we are paying for a bit of comfort. They don’t expect me to buy them designer clothes just because I do for myself. I don’t buy them a new car when I buy myself one.

they are getting a gift of a holiday and flights. They would be seriously ghastly people if they were sour that we weren’t spending £10-20k more to have them and their girlfriends fly business.

This is a really interesting thread because there are two distinct sides genuinely shocked at the others opinion.

I think it would be really interesting to know if opinion on this subject correlates with wealth as I suspect.

I suspect lower income people (like me to declare my bias) are shocked at the idea of booking the cheaper separate seat for a young adult because we are used to putting our kids first financially like getting them a take away when we can't afford one for ourselves, buying them clarkes school shoes when ours are off vinted or paying for their school trip abroad when we can't afford to go abroad ourselves. So attitudes like the quote (willing to pay ££££ for ourself but only £ for the kids) seem very alien.

Strong agree with this. I don’t need business class flights but would, at my point of life, definitely opt for it if I could afford it. And some people do need it - aches, pains, height and other reasons that may not be apparent to other people. I’m not going to judge. And generally, biz fares subsidise economy ones (which is something I try to remember when travelling in goat class)

well, there are trips I would not take if I couldn’t go business. Travel is not necessary, and I would say no to trips that weren’t enjoyable.

I think you may possibly be right.

I certainly feel no guilt in not giving my children the odd luxury that I reserve just for myself. I already give them far, far more than they actually need. If they were to have everything that I have without earning it themselves then I fear they would become spoiled, entitled brats.

If I had very little, then obviously I would prioritise the children’s treats over my own.

But is that relevant to this thread?if you’re an 18yo and you won’t take a paid flight to Australia unless it’s business class that would cement in my mind that parenting mistakes have been made, this 18yo is spoilt rotten, and the absolute last thing you should do is pay for them to travel business. They can either live their entire life never going to Australia, and if they ever say the reason out loud to other people watch all of their faces change as they realise how spoilt and immature this man really is, or they can work their butt off and spend it on business class flights.
there are no holidays I would refuse on the grounds of I’m not flying business. I’ve lived on 3 continents, and taken children travelling long haul on economy, most recently a week ago with 3, 6 & 9 year olds.

Call me mean or whatever you like my 18year old would be sitting in economy. No way would I pay BC for him.

He is more than capable of sitting in economy on his own, he is lucky you’re willing to pay for that.

The responses are unhinged.

Well you’ve got the godfather’s permission - phew!