To not pay for DSS to travel Business Class?

[Donewithitt]

Looking at booking flights UK to Australia for DH and I. We weren’t sure if DSS (18) would want to come as it’s to see family. Mentioned it to DSS and he’s keen to come, and might stay for longer. We are only going for 2 weeks due to work commitments. We are ready to book now, DSS hasn’t worked out what he wants to do yet. AIBU to book DH and I business class flights now while they are still reasonably priced then DSS can travel in economy once he knows what he wants to do. Also we won’t be paying for his travel forever so want him to realise that!

What a lazy interpretation

This really is Mumsnet as its finest. On one side, people splitting their family up for a few hours on a plane are sticking their children in cages whilst they sit on a gold throne and are teaching them they are second class citizens.
On the other, people travelling all in business class are making sure their DC grow up to be entitled, spoilt brats.
Oh and throw in some wicked stepmother tropes too for good measure. Well done everyone!!

disagree

Book economy for the three of you going and business class for the two of you coming home . Book economy for him coming back because he's not with you . No one needs to know .

Have you said to ds - you can fly business if yih book now but if the costs goes up we won’t pay any excess over the price we get today

Gives him responsibility, and the option to earn and spend his own cash if he can’t make his mind up

Yanbu and I think it’s lovely you are still offering to take him and fund the trip. Holidays stopped for us once we were 18 and we paid for our own ‘girls trips’!

But in this case he won’t even commit to whether he’s going! What’s OP supposed to do, wait until he bothers to let them know? And what happens if the girlfriend/friend can’t afford business class, will they be sitting on their own in economy?

he is 18 and getting a free trip. My parents on a few occasions did that when I was a young adult ( 19 or 20 if memory serves me well ). Really really not a big deal. If you have a history of excluding him or treating him differently to your children if you have one then maybe there will be some sensitivity.

We all remember being 18 surely ? no joint pains and all the energy in the world. He will be fine.

Check the cancellation charges, sometimes depending on the airline the charge is minimal if it's business if you cancel, because he doesn't want to go.

Personally I think he will. Who'd turn down an opportunity to travel!

Yes, in this case it’s fine so long as there’s an open conversation. It’s the posters saying they always put dc in economy while they go to business that I was responding to.

Ok, If you think he’s a child, how can the poor little poppet travel home alone if he decides to stay longer? I presume he’ll also only be able to do things with his DF and DSM? Maybe they can take reins for him?

He’s an adult! He’s deciding (in his own time) if he wants to go, because he can decide as an adult.

If money is an issue, can you and your H travel economy so you can deffo pay for step son can go business class? @Donewithitt

Tongue firmly in cheek there, I hope 😀

If his DF is happy for him to fly economy I can’t see what the issue is.
Maybe as a nice gesture he could give him a few hundred for spend for not having to pay for a BC seat.
But it makes sense, young people don’t suffer so much from sore backs and can recover more quickly from lack of sleep so economy is fine.

@Bubblesgun It is normal! Especially if dc, as in this case, is an add on! He should be encouraged to make a decision immediately. If he won’t commit I’d just leave him behind. It’s not really planned as a family holiday.

@Bubblesgun

it is though.

Agree.
Similar here.
There are some treats that are to be enjoyed when you have been able to earn well.

Sounds like op can afford it.

Op, I think you should just be straight with him and tell him you need his decision. A teen might be quite content to be in Economy away from parents so they can do their own thing during the flight.

This

Tell him you need to book it now so if he wants to fly with you then decide and he should go business class. If he wants to decide at a later date, tell him prices will have gone up so it’s reasonable to let him know he’ll have to fly economy. Leaving him out as default seems mean.

I wouldn’t put him in cattle class but we’re at the life stage now where we can either spend our money and see the kids enjoy it or leave it to them when we’re dead. We’ve chosen the former.

I do understand your point and I agree however when we have felt like this, and maybe recognising the kids won't appreciate an upgrade then none of us go business class. I don't book myself and my husband on business and the kids into economy. We all travel together and we all sit together. Yes it's good to teach your kids the importance of valuing money and luxury however not at the expense of making them feel cut out as well.

This. He can chose whether to se all allocated money on business class. Or he might rather travel in economy and have the rest towards doing some travelling around Australia

Same here - I’m enjoying being able to treat our grown up, working in their own careers, DC’s. - it’s a lovely thing to be able to do and they fully appreciate it.

those that wouldn’t dream of flying business and their kids economy do you not worry that you might be underlining their drive and ambition? Like if young people get everything handed to them on a plate what happens to their desire to strive and work hard? Surely it’s good for them to see that there are certain privileges etc that only come when you’ve earned them?