School dad

[Aworldofwonder]

Right I'll try to keep this as brief as possible.

DD is 7, in school with a small class. We have gotten to know all the parents fairly well including of one of her friends say Molly.

Molly's dad is very very handsome. This is just a fact, obvious to women and men. My own DH has also commented on it and He's also very charming. He talks fitness a lot to my DH.

A while ago he walked up behind me and complimented me on how I'm looking. It was quietly. He asked me if I've lost a lot of weight. I acknowledged that I had and said we are on a health kick at home and training for an event. He said he really likes to see people improve themselves. I was a little irked and thought mind your own business. I came home and mentioned it to DH later. He actually looked pleased.

Shortly afterwards he was walking by and trailed his hand on my bare shoulder saying ciao. I again mentioned it to DH who shrugged and said he's Italian, they are tactile.

At a kids' party last week he came to sit beside me on the couch. It was at a venue where you could leave them so I'd gone for a quick run. He asked me how it's going. Then he did something so subtle I feel silly explaining it; he had his arm resting on the couch and let his fingers trail the back of my neck and slightly lower just above my top. It was a bit longer than a brush of the skin, definitely not an accident. I turned around to say something and he sort of leaned in, smiled, trailed his fingers under my hair and then stood up and walked off. Before anyone jumps in asking why I didn't tellhin to FRO I was speechless.

It sounds like nothing I know. But it wasn't nothing.

And I'm furious. I'm furious because he's clearly so entitled, so used to women loving attention from him, so comfortable flirting in front of his wife, so subtle yet insidious. And I'm furious with my DH who obviously thinks it's ok because we'll I don't know, maybe because it's a compliment.

Anyway

Yabu : you're being ridiculous, just keep your distance and stop being a drama llama
Yanbu : fuck these men thinking they can act how they want

"It sounds like nothing I know" it doesn't sounds like nothing, it is sexual harassment

Thank you, I agree.

He sounds like a creep op. Try to stay away from him and keep you dh up to date. You know what you are comfortable with and he is pushing a boundary here. Don't second guess yourself.

His looks aren't really that relevant surely

He’s testing you to see what he can get away with. Don’t feel bad you have no reason to - these types are hoping for a reaction where you freeze up.

I can’t imagine any man I know doing this. Not acceptable. Next time he touches you would just move away and say ‘can you not touch me please? It makes me uncomfortable’

I know what you mean but he is the type of movie star handsome you don't generally see in real life. And he's also very charming and personable.

I hate to say it but I felt like my DH's initial reaction was influenced by that which is ridiculous as his wife is very normal looking.

And if something ever got caught up in a rumour machine that people would assume I was interested in him.

I will be ready. I froze in surprise.

I think it is, because people assume that this handsome, charming, married man can’t possibly be a creep. And that’s how they get away with making women uncomfortable.

I hate men like this.

Creepy bastard. Do you think you will be able to tell him to fuck off? I’ve done it before but I understand it’s not always easy when men act like this.

I’d be really disappointed with my partner if he minimised this like yours is.

He really likes to see people improve themselves! 🤣
Get in the sea
And yes, no shame in freezing in that situation!!

I was hurt actually. He dismissed it so readily I thought -

Are you flattered?
Are you thinking I'm deluded?
Are you just not paying attention?

So I ended up not telling him about the party.

Kick him in the balls. Entitled creep

Talking of handsome men. I saw someone on a flight recently, and I kid you not, he had to be the most beautiful man I've ever seen. I couldn't believe my eyes. He looked aristocratic to me, and definitely model-like. I've never seen anything like it(him)

I know! FRO (re the improving myself)

I would be more direct and not use “please”.
“Don’t touch me.”

Well, he’s run that red flag right up the pole, hasn’t he?!

Be on high alert, and next time (there WILL be one) call him straight out and make sure others hear you doing so. Loud and clear; keep your hands to yourself.

Ewww creepy and disrespectful of you.

That’s really gross, what a c*nt.

He’s is a creep and you’ve every right to be furious but I think you’re being harsh on DH . Trusting you and not responding with toxic male ownership and aggression is quite refreshing on here.

If DH is guilty of thinking you’re not going to be flattered because he knows you love him or that you are well equipped to deal with the bell end . I think that’s pretty hot and i am a straight man 😳

And some are flattered by it (women, their partners) and it feeds into this

I do appreciate the fact that DH is not a jealous man, he trusts me always. We never have issue with me developing male friendships or whatever.

But in this case I was slightly upset and he seemed kind of amused. I really didn't like some man telling me I was improving myself.

And say it LOUD. Let everyone in the vicinity know he is behaving like this. Be short, sharp and loud.

I wonder if he does this a lot, either affairs or just heavy flirting for the attention.

A man trailing his hand up your neck is subtle??

It's flipping assault

This man sounds like a complete predator

I have no doubt that he does.

I swear to God next time if you look him in the eye and say 'Fuck. Off.' he will never speak to you again