School dad

[Aworldofwonder]

Right I'll try to keep this as brief as possible.

DD is 7, in school with a small class. We have gotten to know all the parents fairly well including of one of her friends say Molly.

Molly's dad is very very handsome. This is just a fact, obvious to women and men. My own DH has also commented on it and He's also very charming. He talks fitness a lot to my DH.

A while ago he walked up behind me and complimented me on how I'm looking. It was quietly. He asked me if I've lost a lot of weight. I acknowledged that I had and said we are on a health kick at home and training for an event. He said he really likes to see people improve themselves. I was a little irked and thought mind your own business. I came home and mentioned it to DH later. He actually looked pleased.

Shortly afterwards he was walking by and trailed his hand on my bare shoulder saying ciao. I again mentioned it to DH who shrugged and said he's Italian, they are tactile.

At a kids' party last week he came to sit beside me on the couch. It was at a venue where you could leave them so I'd gone for a quick run. He asked me how it's going. Then he did something so subtle I feel silly explaining it; he had his arm resting on the couch and let his fingers trail the back of my neck and slightly lower just above my top. It was a bit longer than a brush of the skin, definitely not an accident. I turned around to say something and he sort of leaned in, smiled, trailed his fingers under my hair and then stood up and walked off. Before anyone jumps in asking why I didn't tellhin to FRO I was speechless.

It sounds like nothing I know. But it wasn't nothing.

And I'm furious. I'm furious because he's clearly so entitled, so used to women loving attention from him, so comfortable flirting in front of his wife, so subtle yet insidious. And I'm furious with my DH who obviously thinks it's ok because we'll I don't know, maybe because it's a compliment.

Anyway

Yabu : you're being ridiculous, just keep your distance and stop being a drama llama
Yanbu : fuck these men thinking they can act how they want

I’d imagine she’s mentioning it as it would appear that some (not all, but clearly this one) feel like it entitles them and that anyone would feel flattered etc by the attention, thereby him truly believing he’s justified in his actions. Maybe he’s not used to hearing no, or just clearly unable to hear the word no. But as I’d said to one of the (truly altrustic 🤭 ) men above (sent to enlighten us and help us see what our little brains cannot), if you’re that gorgeous and anyone should feel flattered, maybe he should give it a try on a random man and see how far that gets you 😂

I've decided to take the easy way out and avoid him.

I don't know if I should bring it up with DH. I'm still a bit hurt but maybe it's not fair to assume his reaction was based on "you think very highly of yourself". I have a pisstake kind of flirty humour anyway so it's more likely he didn't expect me to be upset or he just thinks school dad is a nice man, don't be silly.

On a side note; it's unbelievable how someone can go from seeming charming, lovely and objectively attractive to utterly YUCK instantly however. Everytime I see school dad in my peripheral vision now at the gates bloody waving to me or smiling like a crocodile I cringe. I have blanked him repeatedly. He sent me some party pics on whatsapp so I blocked him.

I can say here anonymously because I don't have to justify it but I do fully believe school dad was testing water for an affair as a pp said and he does it regularly. I feel so sorry for his wife.

He sounds like a right sleaze. I'd give him a wide berth and if he touched me again I'd slap his hand and shout out 'don't touch me!'

I do think you should tell all of this to DH. It’s too big of an upset not to. Make it abundantly clear how upsetting it is.

Grim OP, really grim. Really sorry. I hope you can avoid him but I would have a plan b you are comfortable with in case you do run into him.

Maybe him and his wife are swingers and he's sussing you out.

My plan is to always stay at least an arm's length away, not engage in any conversations whatsoever and if he walks up behind me and touches me I'll immediately and forcefully push him away. Obviously if he walks up behind me I won't know it's him but I'm going to push anyone away and assuming it's not DH they will know not to do it again.

I don't expect him to persist. Yes I've got in shape and look better (have improved myself apparently!!!) but I'm sure he can find another form of distraction.