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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How would you have dealt with this?

102 replies

Hellowwq · 07/05/2025 18:22

Before I explain the situation just want to say my mental health is not great, I’m feeling better but I have had terrible depression so just bear in mind.

I took the kids to this health foods shop we always go past but never have gone into and I heard they have delicious handmade chocolates. I’m trying to be more present for my kids so thought this would be nice. I entered the store and it was empty it was a lady standing by the counter and I greeted her nicely and I said “hello, how are you?” She just grunted “fine”, didn’t even look my way. I didn’t think anything but just felt uneasy.

I walked to the counter where chocolates were and a different worker was there and I again greeted her politely and complimented how beautiful the chocolates look. Again same attitude. I ordered my chocolates and paid and I just feel they were so rude. They both had really sour faces and were just plain rude and hard to engage in any sort of polite conversation, I put my kids in the car and just felt really upset and I knew if I didn’t say anything I will just spiral so when I got home I called the store (out of kids earshot) and told her I wasn’t happy with the customer service I received and felt they were very rude (I have never done anything like this before! I usually just let things go and fester, That’s a reason I think for my depression as I don’t stand up for myself).

The woman responded “We were perfectly polite to you”. I told she wasn’t and I asked to speak to manager and was told manager won’t be in till end of the week. I’m glad I called even though it resolved nothing but made me feel better! Just for future in that moment what would you do? I wish I had just walked out but for my kids sake I didn’t.

OP posts:
Wate90 · 09/05/2025 09:56

MinnieCauldwell · 08/05/2025 18:19

Going against the grain here, feel sorry for the shop workers. Lost me a bit with 'sour face' and 'grunt'. We women must smile, smile, smile...do feel women are judged diffently and to be honest it was just a visit to a sweet shop. Perhaps they were having a bad day?

I never understand people who say “they might just be having a bad day”. It’s also not to do with being a woman. It’s to do with your job. I work treating patients all day. I need to be smiling and pleasant at all times. Even when I’m working through my latest miscarriage (my 4th. And last. Because we’re out of money to fund more ivf so I will now stay childless forever) I need to keep smiling. I need to nod and smile when parents tell me about their child or bring their baby to appointments. If I ignored them or told them to stop talking or cried or ran out the room I’d be complained about and probably fired. Then I’d lose my house. So no sorry I can’t agree with the “they might be having a bad day so they are allowed to be grumpy or rude.” If your day is that bad you can’t be pleasant you need to take the day off. Or do what I’ve done and learned how to push through and just be pleasant. It’s fucking hard. And I can’t count how many times I’ve cried in between patients. But they will never know.

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 09/05/2025 09:56

When people are like that I assume they have small miserable lives and/or are jealous of me and my great life

(i know how arrogant that sounds... but I'm not a narcissist honest!) 😅😅😅😅

The more I’m thinking of it the more it feels like they were looking down at me

This is 💯 inside you.
There are very few people whose good opinion I care about these days. Once you get into the mindset, it's very freeing.

I was out the other day dressed like an absolute tramp buying a steak bake and got eyeballed by a woman working in a fucking GREGGS... I wasnt remotely upset i found it amusing.

In terms of what I'd have done.
I'd have asumed they were having bad days or had been arguing with each other before i came in...
That doesnt give them a free pass it just i dont rake on their negative energy.

for £25 I'd have said to the kids..."Do you know what???? i dont know if i fancy chocolates any more... i am not sure how good they look...
do you want to buy something else? We could go to softplay / park / the toy shop / a nice cafe / whatever instead?"

Whats done is done - Fuck 'em and dont give them any brain space.

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