Was neighbour BU?

[BarbarellaC]

Will try and make it quick. I have a 10 (ish) month old cat. He has only started going out in the garden in the past few weeks since the weather has been warm.

We have a fairly secure garden and, up to now, he has generally stayed in the garden but has wondered out once or twice (sometimes he just climbs the trees in our garden so we can't always see him), but always come back when we call him or rattle his biscuits. We live near a main road so I'm not keen on him venturing too far beyond our garden.

He has a new tractive tracker but hates wearing it so DH took it off him last night and I didn't have time to chase him t9 put it back on before I went to work. So he didn't have it on today. I let him out at just after 8pm when it was still light and, when I came downstairs again, the cat was nowhere to be seen. Called him, rattled biscuits, nothing. By then I was worried because he had never taken so long to come back.

So I went out to look for him and did a couple of rounds at the back and front of our house. Then knocked on our nice neighbour's door and he kindly said he would look in his garden. Knocked on the other neighbour's door (youngish couple, no kids) and, despite their lights being on, they didn't answer the door. It was obviously me as they have a sensor light so I lit up like Blackpool tower while standing on their doorstep. No answer still.

By the time I walked back around the block, DH called to say the cat had emerged. He had jumped over the second neighbour's fence. So, he was in their garden and had they been kind enough to look, they would have spotted him.

Anyway, all fine in the end. Cat is OK and won't be going out without his tracker again. I can't stop him from jumping over the high fence and going into the neighbour's garden though.

But, my AIBU is whether I am wrong to think the neighbour was being unreasonable in not opening the door to someone who is obviously a neighbour and likely in need of help / a favour?

The men never talk to us but, if a neighbour knocked on my door at 8.30pm, I would answer it because it seems like the kind and neighbourly thing to do.

OP this is not a value judgement. This has already been explained to you by many people here.

Your neighbours were not unreasonable. You have no idea why they chose not to answer. Cat proof your garden with the special fencing. Much safer for them.

I didn't get shirty, just asked if I was unreasonable ti have expected them to answer. And I have been told I am and I accept that.

I agreed that I have no idea why they didn't answer. I also agreed to look into cat proofing the garden.

I can’t imagine not answering the door at 8.30, but maybe your neighbours and mumsnetters and were shaking behind the sofa when you rang their bell.

You can't imagine it? Can't imagine being in the middle of something that prevented you getting there?

Fit Katzecure fencing so he can’t get out your garden. If you are near a busy road, please do this. Cats have no Road sense and vets bills if he survived would likely be more than fitting the fencing

🙄

Like a pp on page one, my first thought was they were having sex or just somewhere in the house where they don't hear the doorbell, or watching a loud movie or all of the above.

If your imagination fails you, you can read this thread as there are many many reasons given why someone might not answer the door at 8.30 or anytime. None involve shaking behind the sofa interestingly enough. Although social anxiety or agoraphobia may prevent some people from answering the door but I don't think that has been brought up on this thread yet.

I made pizza tonight for tea. I had no pineapple in the cupboard so I made a value judgement not to put pineapple on the pizza!!!

8.30 is dinnertime for us. I would not interrupt my dinner to answer an uninvited doorbell, and if I did and it was someone wanting me to go out to the garden to check for their cat I would be disinclined to help.

If the cat had been missing for a few days and you came at a sensible time (as some neighbours did recently), I would be happy to check (well, I sent one of my dc, no way was I hunting around for anyone else's cats when I don't do it for mine!)

You're funny.

No, the decision not to put pineapple on your pizza would be driven by the FACT that you had no pineapple.

If you decided to go to the shop and buy pineapple, that is a value judgement because you are choosing to go and buy the pineapple as that is what you like to have on your pizza.

Do you understand the difference between fact and opinion?

I cannot answer the door because I am on a work call.

I choose not to answer the door because I am relaxing or I don't like talking to my neighbours.

Hope that helps.

Fair enough. But seems there is no consensus on a sensible time though.

Our gardens are the size of postage stamps so wouldn't take long to check. But they are not obliged to do anything at all, I understand that better now.

I would answer my door to you and look for your cat @BarbarellaC ! And I’m in the sticks!

Ah I think you are getting a very undeserved hard time on here @BarbarellaC I’ve had cats forever but was still way worried when my 2 12 month year old sisters went out 2 yearsago

i've knocked on neighbours doors houses twice during the day in that time. Especially the early days when new patches were being agreed and there were lots of noise going on

i work from home and try and get them in by 6 at night but really struggle on the long days. Empty bellies and Dreamies do help

Yes, I do know the difference between fact and opinion. You don't need to write in capital letters for me.
I also know this is not a value judgement, as the previous posters have explained to you.
You are being unreasonable again OP.

That's lovely to hear, thank you!

Yes am quickly learning this! Thank you.

I would also answer the door and look for your cat OP if I wasn't busy doing something else which prevented me from coming to the door at the exact moment you rang the bell.

I don't agree with you on this, and I'm comfortable with that.

I've shown I am open to changing my mind and acknowledging when I have been wrong. But I don't agree on this, and that's fine too.

That's fine, we can agree to disagree 😉

YABU to let your cat out at 8:30pm to play out on its own with no supervision and no tracker. Are you near roads? Some drivers deliberately drive at cats. I believe cats have the equivalent IQ of a 3 year old child. Would you let a toddler out at that time?

I did google it OP out of interest. This is what I found out:

No, answering the door is generally not considered a value judgment in a philosophical sense. Value judgments involve opinions about what is "good" or "bad," "right" or "wrong," or "ought to be". Answering the door is a simple action with no inherent moral or ethical implications.

While you might have reasons for answering (e.g., politeness, expected behavior) or reasons for not answering (e.g., safety concerns, privacy), these reasons themselves are not value judgments.

It does sound like you might be using the cat to fill your empty nest a bit. Unfortunately cats are a bit like an 18yr old. They will randomly decide to stay out all night, then moan at you because you weren't there to let them in at 3.05am when they got the munchies. They will sleep most of the day. If you try to show them affection they will look at you like you have come from another planet, yet if they want affection you would be unreasonable to refuse it. They will treat your house like a hotel, all inclusive of course. They will however think nothing of going around to a mates house and eating at their house then still stroll in wanting more food. They will get in scuffles with their mates as they establish the pecking order. They would quite happily ditch you entirely but they can't be bothered to support themselves so tolerate being around you for the food, shelter and affection on their terms.

Obviously not! And he wasn't let out at 8.30, that was when I went to search for him. But, yes, lesson learnt anyway.