To think my husband is wrong for reporting my sister for benefit fraud?

[Rockyhardplace25]

So back story:

My sister is a lot younger than me. There is a 15 year age gap- so I basically raised her as my mother was struggling with an alcohol addiction and wasn’t fit to until she went into rehab when my sister was 9. We have a very, strong close relationship.
Sister has also had her own issues with drugs- but when she found out she was pregnant with my niece 8 years ago, went to rehab and has sorted her life out. To some extent.
She has a much older partner, the gap is nearly 30 years, who she met in her addiction who has also, again to some extent, sorted his life out. In that aspect- I take my hat off to both of them.
This man was married with adult children and got my sister pregnant after a one night stand. He left his wife and moved in with my sister. His “other family” have completely cut him off apart from his eldest child- who, from what I can work out, uses him as a bank.

Me and DH have one child, DD who is now a 11, Children are expensive- there’s no two ways about it. With clothing, school trips, days out etc it does add up. DSIS has a 7 year old and is now pregnant with a second child who we are all very excited about.

DSIS doesn’t work and claims sickness benefits, her partner does. Up until recently we assumed she was reporting his income as part of her claim- but we have found out through a slip of the tounge she isn’t. She isn’t even declaring he lives with her, which he does full time. His bank account, car and other things that could link him back to DSIS house is registered to his son’s address. A son he gives £1500 a month too.

DSIS was brought a house when she turned 18 (we have same mum, different dads) so solely pays the mortgage and a lump of the bills herself topped up by her partner. If he/the kids need anything he will go out and buy it but doesn’t directly contribute to the monthly running of the home. Which has pissed me off if I’m honest.

DH is even more pissed off- feels she is taking the piss, as is he, she is committing fraud and why is it fair we both work our arses off to pay our monthly bills when she’s getting it handed to her on a plate but wouldn’t if she was honest. DH thinks if she does that then her partner will leave her because at the moment he’s pretty much living the life of Riley with no expenses.

Hes admitted to me over the weekend he’s reported her for benefit fraud. I don’t know how I feel- I keep flitting from one thing to the next- but ultimately she is my sister and I am worried she will get into serious shit.

She is highly unlikely to go to prison. If they decide that there is Benefit Fraud she will have to pay it back - but it may be difficult to prove

PS - the word is 'bought' a house not 'brought'!

Massive generalisation about addiction there. But nauseating.

There are people all over the country defrauding the system. But the system is brutal and under pays people. I can see it from both sides. Your partner must be very jealous and your sister will indeed get in serious shit.

So she has a bloke who is pretty much leeching off her, your DH thinks he's using her and will fuck off if he's expected to pay his way - and his solution is to go for your sister and her child by cutting off the way that she pays her mortgage and feeds the pair of them?

Agree completely.

Your husband is a mealy-mouthed, resentful Daily Mail-reading bastard who thinks it's OK to punish a young mother on benefits who had a crap start in life. I'd be divorcing that ghoul pronto for the way he has thrown their lives - and the children - under a bus.

How will she ever get a job with fraud on her record?

He is a cunt.

is her partner working and also claiming ?
Do he is committing fraud aswell?

100% agree with this.

OP you now need to tell your sister that she must either report a change in circs to UC, i.e that her partner is living with her or that she throws him out. This will mitigate what your husband has done behind your back.

I would be raging with him. It doesn’t sound like her partner actually even supports her. I know that doesn’t make it right and she needs to sort that but your oh could have at least spoke to them both first. Have you gave your sis a heads up?

This is tricky isn’t it, as she deserves to be reported but it could cause a rift in the family if she finds out. I can understand you feeling conflicted!

This exactly!
The bf/husband is really the only one who has been benefiting here, he hasnt been paying his share. Your husbands grievance is with him not your sister. He should have gone directly to him if he had a problem.

No way. I would’ve reported them too. Being an addict is no excuse.

What’s the saying about don’t do the crime if you don’t want to do the time?!

Nice divisive post! Bravo!

I don't like benefit cheats either but would turn a blind eye to my own bloody sister! Your husband's behaviour is appalling. Nobody likes a grass...

Are you sure she's getting benefits? You do not get payment for housing if you're a homeowner. She might be able to claim uc but if she has children she'd be entitled if she can't work due to MH issues. Addicts find it difficult to work.
Just a warning though a former friend went to prison for benefit fraud. 1 year.

I think your sister and her partner are twats. But your DH has completely betrayed your trust for spiteful reasons. It would be relationship ending for me. If he was really struggling enough to want to report it, he should have let you know before the fact.

Agree with PPs that you should let your sister know. And move on from DH and find someone less bitter and self-righteous.

Whatever he think of your sister, there is a child involved and his niece at that (yes I view children of my brother and sister in laws to be my nieces and nephews, what psycho doesn’t?!)

Your DH doesn’t respect you at all.

But she is committing fraud. There is no excuse for that.

Homeowners can apply for a benefit called support for mortgage interest (SMI). It’s a loan, which has to be repaid at some point.

I don't know why the focus here is on your sister, unless you think she's not really too sick to work and therefore not entitled to those benefits. The real issue here seems to be that her partner CAN afford to financially support all of his children but chooses not to. She is allowing and covering up for this, but the core crime is his.

Wow what a cunt - I’d absolutely leave my husband over this. Could never ever come back from it

Good on your husband. Ok for your sister to keep coining the money in fraudulently whilst the rest of us pay her mortgage eh!?

So her non working alcoholic mother & ex drug addict sister & with a leeching non working partner are who the other person should rely on? I think not. She has her children & family to think about. Whose fault is it she is going to have fraud on her record? Who committed the fraud? She chose to be an addict, she chose fraud & she chose to have & put her children/children in this horrific situation no one else, how many children have died from abuse due to people not reporting ‘family’.

Entirely. Hopefully this will get her the help wake-up call she needs.

No he knows she would never report her.

She is a cunt for being a fraud. Following the rules is simple. She deserves all she gets. I’ve been stung before and accepted the consequences and moved on and am a better person for it.