To think my husband is wrong for reporting my sister for benefit fraud?

[Rockyhardplace25]

So back story:

My sister is a lot younger than me. There is a 15 year age gap- so I basically raised her as my mother was struggling with an alcohol addiction and wasn’t fit to until she went into rehab when my sister was 9. We have a very, strong close relationship.
Sister has also had her own issues with drugs- but when she found out she was pregnant with my niece 8 years ago, went to rehab and has sorted her life out. To some extent.
She has a much older partner, the gap is nearly 30 years, who she met in her addiction who has also, again to some extent, sorted his life out. In that aspect- I take my hat off to both of them.
This man was married with adult children and got my sister pregnant after a one night stand. He left his wife and moved in with my sister. His “other family” have completely cut him off apart from his eldest child- who, from what I can work out, uses him as a bank.

Me and DH have one child, DD who is now a 11, Children are expensive- there’s no two ways about it. With clothing, school trips, days out etc it does add up. DSIS has a 7 year old and is now pregnant with a second child who we are all very excited about.

DSIS doesn’t work and claims sickness benefits, her partner does. Up until recently we assumed she was reporting his income as part of her claim- but we have found out through a slip of the tounge she isn’t. She isn’t even declaring he lives with her, which he does full time. His bank account, car and other things that could link him back to DSIS house is registered to his son’s address. A son he gives £1500 a month too.

DSIS was brought a house when she turned 18 (we have same mum, different dads) so solely pays the mortgage and a lump of the bills herself topped up by her partner. If he/the kids need anything he will go out and buy it but doesn’t directly contribute to the monthly running of the home. Which has pissed me off if I’m honest.

DH is even more pissed off- feels she is taking the piss, as is he, she is committing fraud and why is it fair we both work our arses off to pay our monthly bills when she’s getting it handed to her on a plate but wouldn’t if she was honest. DH thinks if she does that then her partner will leave her because at the moment he’s pretty much living the life of Riley with no expenses.

Hes admitted to me over the weekend he’s reported her for benefit fraud. I don’t know how I feel- I keep flitting from one thing to the next- but ultimately she is my sister and I am worried she will get into serious shit.

Bravo to your husband. So tired of getting up and going to work each day only to support piss-taking scroungers.

I made sure to live within my means and don’t care to support those too sloppy or lazy to live within theirs.

I would be very upset with your husband in your case. Yes, your sister is cheating, but she is your beloved sister and is clearly very vulnerable - traumatic childhood, ex-addict, two kids with an ex-addict partner 30 years her senior who cheated on his previous partner and dumped his family for someone 30 years younger. This can have serious repercussions for your sister and especially her two children.

To claim carers allowance the person who is receiving care has to be in receipt of PIP/DLA/AA daily living component. The carer has to provide 35 hours care per week and they can’t earn more than £196 per week after deductions - they also can’t be a paid carer for the person receiving care. Carers allowance is £83 per week, so works out at less than £3 per hour, and it can have a significant effect on any other benefits received by both carer and cared for. So not just a straightforward case of deciding you’re ill and need a carer.

I wasn’t disputing that this is fraud, just answering a question from another poster concerning whether or not the reason for claiming sickness benefit was genuine.

I made sure to live within my means and don’t care to support those too sloppy or lazy to live within theirs.

Does that include the millions of people being paid a wage they can’t live on so have to be topped up by the tax payer ? Thus effectively footing the wage bill for many rich companies who are more concerned with paying shareholder dividends and CEO bonuses than paying the people at the sharp end a decent wage for their efforts. Not all benefit claimants are scroungers and many are tax payers themselves.

I’ve got a family member who does something similar, though they do work. I think it’s wrong but no way would I report them. What a horrible thing to do to your family

I would warn family if they don't stop i will will report them, if they didn't stop i would

Same if I new any family committed any crime

I can imagine the replies if a man was doing it

All this bleating about 'But she's faaaamily!' All benefit fraudsters are someone's sister/brother/aunt/etc. Should they all go unreported purely because they're related to someone?

Good on your husband for doing this, the thieving scum deserves it.

I hope your family member is caught.

Your sister's partner is the one at fault here, but he'll also be the one that gets off scot free. Yes, the sister shouldn't have allowed this, but if the info you've given us is true, she's not benefitting financially at all from this arrangement and with her past history she's almost certainly vulnerable and open to being taken advantage of by this much older 'man'.

Your husband is not in a partnership with you at all if he did this behind your back. He doesn't care about your family one jot - if he did he'd have discussed it with you first. At best he doesn't have the balls to stand up for what he feels is right, so has reported hoping they won't find out it was him, at worst he wants your sister to be charged and punished, so hasn't given her the opportunity to stop what she's doing.

I don't agree with benefit fraud generally, but this really doesn't sound like one of this cases where somebody is reaping the rewards. Well, the partner may well be, but he won't be the one that ends up paying the money back with a criminal record.

Warn your sister and try to support her so she might start to make better choices with partners. You'd do well heeding this advice too.

They don't have to be reported by family though do they? It's not as if the sister is benefiting financially from the arrangement either according to OP. The partner is doing that but he won't be the one that gets prosecuted.

A man is the one benefiting.

That needs directing back to the PP I answered, who suggested the DP in this thread could claim as the sisters carer.

I was saying the same as you, that there would need to be evidence of need (otherwise we could all say our partners are our carers!). . The OP didn't say there is evidence that her sister requires a carer.

So it’s down to the sister to not let him move in unless he pays his way by explaining to him that she will lose her benefits if he lives there.

Your sister and her bloke have sorted their lives out 'to an extent'. Does that mean they're still using but not quite as much?

How can anyone know that benefit fraud is ‘only 3%’?
By definition, the only cases definitely known about, are those that have been found out, however that came about.
As so often on such threads, I can’t help wondering whether those who are so outraged at the idea of a fraudster being reported, are on the fiddle themselves.

I don't agree with benefit fraud generally, but this really doesn't sound like one of this cases where somebody is reaping the rewards. Well, the partner may well be, but he won't be the one that ends up paying the money back with a criminal record.

It really doesn’t matter whether anyone ‘benefits’ or not. The law is the law. DSIS is claiming benefits which are in payment based on her declaration that she is single and living alone. Her partner is in employment and whether he is actually contributing to the household or not is irrelevant because as far as the law is concerned he is resident with OP and his income would at the very least reduce OP’s entitlement to benefits, or more likely wipe it out altogether. It would also affect any housing or council tax benefits she may be claiming.

As with all benefit claimants, when DSIS made her claim, she entered into a ‘rights and responsibilities’ agreement to report any change of circumstances which may affect benefits. She’s failed to report a change of circumstances and although the fact that it’s family who have reported her leaves a bad taste in the mouth, nevertheless it was the right thing to do. Why should she claim benefits paid at the expense of the tax payer when she has a resident partner perfectly capable of supporting her ?

DWP release annual statistics on benefit fraud, based on current known figures. The figures include fraudulent claims as well as non-fraudulent claimant error and DWP’s own errors resulting in incorrect payments. The figures for 2024 show an overall total of 3.7%. Overpayments due to fraud were 2.8%. Claimant error and DWP error were at 0.6% and 0.3% respectively. HTH.

Yes, I didn't state she wasn't breaking the law. Not everything is black and white though and sometimes a bit of empathy is needed, which you'd especially expect from a family member.

It might not be relevant in law whether the partner is contributing or not but it certainly is as an onlooker who is deciding whether somebody should possibly be sent to prison or face extreme hardship by being reported.

In this instance I wouldn't feel it was my place to judge if I knew these circumstances and was say, a neighbour. If it was my partner's sibling and I knew the full extent of their poor upbringing, certainly not.

If OP's husband is truly concerned about the system being defrauded he could have broached it with his wife and discussed how they could give her sister a chance to put it right herself and avoid repercussion, rather than clearly being a weasel and reporting, no doubt assuming the sister won't know it was him.

DSIS is claiming benefit in her own right as a single person. As part of that claim she agreed to report any changes which would affect her benefit. She failed to do that and is still claiming benefits paid at at the tax payers’ expense when she has a resident partner who is perfectly capable of supporting her so that that benefit claim can be reduced or stopped. The number of benefit bashing threads on MN continues to rise and yet here we are condoning fraud.

I personally wouldn't report someone unless they had done something really horrible to me. Even then I just would just think that they'll probably get caught out of their own accord without my involvement.
Surely he should have reported her partner if he's the one who's taking the piss and not pulling his weight.

We’ll have to agree to disagree. The benefit system is currently undergoing major changes which will significantly impact sick and disabled benefit claimants, and the reason for that is the ballooning cost. I don’t believe genuinely sick and disabled people should bear the brunt while those clearly committing fraud get off Scot free. Empathy in these cases is misplaced. DSIS agreed to report any changes in circumstances affecting her benefit. She failed to do so and has allowed her partner to move in and not pay a penny while she continues to claim from the tax payer. It’s deliberately dishonest.

While she - and her partner - are incredibly unreasonable to be defrauding the country, I think your DH is unreasonable to be getting involved and reporting them.

The most unreasonable person I think is the partner - he’s basically got your DSIS committing a crime, which will only come back on her and not him, so that he doesn’t haven’t to contribute to his family. It’s always these non-declared, non-contributing partners who benefit the most - the money your sister is supposed gaining is in fact money that should be provided by him. And yet she takes all the risk.

But the partner isn’t the one claiming benefits, DSIS is, and it is she who is responsible for reporting a change in those benefits. She knowingly allowed her partner to move in and continued to claim a benefit she knew she was no longer entitled to. So it is she who will pay the price.

On the surface I agree, but digging deeper and realising the sister is at risk of losing her home, gaining a criminal record, being taken away from her child and being pregnant in prison (unlikely, but a possibility) whilst her partner loses nothing makes me feel reporting isn't the way to go here.

It does sound like OP's sister could be being coerced here. She's almost certainly vulnerable and her much older partner sounds like a total chancer. Of course, OP might not know the full story. Perhaps the partner IS contributing to the mortgage and household and they're living the life of Riley, then my opinion may be different.. but I'm just going on the information given.