To be pissed off with DF for putting me in this position?

[Maythefifthbewithyou]

I had an arrangement today to take a DF out to a local nice town for brunch and bimbling around. It's been planned for weeks.

She doesn't drive and lives quite rurally, so I said I'm happy to drive, pick her up and drop her back.

When I arrived she came to the door with her DD who is 8, they both had coats on and shut the door behind them.

Her DH that morning had decided to go out for the morning on his very outting hobby so they'd between them that DD would join us in our plans.

They didn't think to give me the heads up.

Now besides the fact that I was looking forward to an adult catch up (my DC are pottering in the garden with my DH), there's no space for her DD in my car.

So we've had to change plans as we can't drive anywhere, I went in for a cup of tea and toast and small catch up with an audience, and now have left.

I'm going to enjoy some time to myself before heading back, but AIBU to think it's correct to give heads up a/ to manage my expectations, and b/ for logistical reasons.

I know this is very devils advocate but can you try to bear in mind that there’s a chance they didn’t agree on this and actually it was more likely forced on her by her dh and she’s too embarrassed or uncomfortable to explain?

It reminds me of all the times dh and I fought over who would have to stay home with the kids and dh would simply say ‘I can’t’ and I’d nearly be crying because I was either missing something social or work wise or I knew I’d get into shit with work.

Agree with all of this. At the very least he's a twat, possibly abuse. But still ok to be irked.

I thought the law is that under normal circumstances a car seat is required until the child is 12 or 135cm, whichever comes first. So a driver would be required to ensure that a short 8yo travelling in their car uses a car seat.
www.gov.uk/child-car-seats-the-rules
Maybe the friend's child is just short?

My vote is on the “outing hobby” being a sex party or being on one of those Channel 4 shows about group sex parties…

Gosh this has a lot of replies.

I went for a lovely mooch on my own thank you all. Found a gem of a vintage Liberty London print blouse in my size 😭 so I'm thrilled. That would not have been mine if today had gone to plan, so silver lining after the horse has bolted and all that jazz .

Yes, I drive a two seater, which she knows I would be using, but with a heads up I could have used the family car, which obviously I'd left with DH and the DC for the day.

I honestly do feel it just wasn't thought through thoroughly by her and her DH rather than any controlling or coercion.

Strange question from a PP but yes, she isn't English she's Swish - not sure if they have form for flouting driving regs .

Am home now. It's been rather a lovely day after I left her home, and my irk.

I’m assuming you mean Swiss, not Swish? If that’s the case (I used to live in Switzerland) they are the most rule-abiding people I’ve ever met. And if anyone in the herd steps out of line in regards to the laws, they will most definitely let you know. “Wiggle room” does NOT compute in Switzerland.

"Strange question from a PP but yes, she isn't English she's Swish"

Her DH is a wanker. She is a mug, and an inconsiderate one at that.

Glad you had a nice afternoon anyway - and snagged the vintage Liberty print, I’m jealous!

my ten year old niece still sits in a booster it depends on their height

she was very cf to presume you would let her sit on her lap

Ahha Swiss!

Though she does have very Liz Hurley hair!

I want to see the blouse.

I'd be annoyed by that. A trip out without DC is a sacred thing and having an 8yo in tow changes the dynamic completely. She should have messaged you.

I have a friend that often suggests bringing her (very demanding) 7yo along to evening restaurant trips. I always just suggest we change to a date when she can get childcare. At least she runs it past me, I'd do a u-turn if I rocked up and she was there.

This would be my concern, even if not abusive, he doesn't sound very supportive.
Although I can see why you are irritated too of course.

Look at this beaut 😍

Duh. Technology skills are slacking.

Ooh! That is very………..swish 🤣.

See what I did there?

Swish!

Geddit?

No? Oh. Ok.

Very nice blouse.

Swish was one of my dad’s highest compliments! As in, ‘you look very swish’

Thanksfor reminding me of him 😀

Spat out my Beaujolais lol!!

Peeping Tom
Lurking and loitering with intent Pickpocketing ?
Moris Dancing
Cheese rolling ?
Clowning - (wannabee Fisbow?)
Or Is he Banksy maybe??

Only Fans content creation?

lol!!!

Puppet Master?
International man of mystery?

Next time perhaps just make a phone call and save the petrol cost.

Sorry, wrong thread!

Love the fact you used the term ‘quarrel’ for some reason this has really made my day! 😍