To do my daughters GCSE course work?

[LolaLouise]

My daughter is adhd diagnosed, probable autism which she is still on a waiting list for years after the referral was submitted, she gets frustrated and gives up quickly, she tries, she really does, but sometimes gets overwhelmed and cant continue a task.

Her art GCSE course work is due in this week, she was very behind. I have spent all last weekend and this weekend helping her get it done. Up until now its been sitting and encouraging her, ive done some of the research whilst shes been doing the sketches needed, and then shes re-written it out, suggestions of sketches she could do, and cutting it all out so she can place everything into her book, helping her with layouts and ordering, but mostly just keeping her on track and focussed in 2 hour windows. There was one piece of art required for it to be done, she tried, for hours, yesterday to do it, but she got so frustrated and couldnt do it, its a portrait of a person. She ended up getting quite upset with the drawing and the looming deadline. This isnt the first time she has attempted it, shes been trying to draw it for weeks, but i put it to one side as she was hyperfixated on it, and in order to get everything else done, i took it off the table and said we would do that last. The sketch is needed as her final piece was based around this portrait, though her final piece was just shapes no details. The teacher has told her she absolutly must include this portrait in her project. Her final exam has already been sat so she cant just change the direction of the project now.

So ive drawn it, its not great, i can draw a bit but not even close to being skilled, but its better than what she was able to produce. She doesnt know ive drawn it last night. Ive started the shading to block out the main shadows, but it needs finishing, which she can do in the same way she has shaded all her other work, it looks vaguely like the person its supposed to be if you squint a little bit. We are going to try again today, ive even suggested to her tracing the facial structure today if we can figure a way to do it as we have no thin paper left to trace with, just really thick watercolour paper and card left. But it needs finishing today to hand in tomorrow. Then we can focus on her other much needed revision.

Her college plans do not include something even close to art related, its one drawing in amongst probably 100 others over the 2 years of project work, in the grand scheme of things i dont think it will make a difference to her grade, but her teacher has said it has to be included, so she is building it up to be the most important thing ever. I just want to help her, and ease some of her stress. Would you give her the drawing and help her finish it? Or is it too much help? Ive convinced myself if she does the shading then its no different to having traced the initial drawing, which is perfectly acceptable in her work, we just dont have the access to do that easily today. Do we try the tracing first and it that goes wrong then i just give her this one to shade over? theres a chance she has tried tracing in school on the lightboxes and they have been discarded already, as i know she traced other images.

How much help is too much, considering her SEN, but also that this is GCSE work?

Any student discovered to have cheated potentially risks having ALL their exams disqualified.

And what absorb the child with SEN whose parent doesn’t do their work for them? It’s creating an unfair playing field.
I do understand your frustrations but at the end of the day, it’s better to have unfinished work than work finished by a parent.
I can remember tutoring back in the day and a parent offered me £200 to do their child’s coursework for them. It’s not the same thing, but it goes against so much to produce a child’s work in this way.

No they’ve deemed a prompt appropriate. What you’re doing is not a prompt.

Oh @Thingsthatgo you should teach me to draw. Observation drawing first then illustration. Please. It's the one thing n life I want to do but self learning and adhd are not pals

Totally misses the point

A lot of posters on MN are fixated on children having to do everything by themselves with no help or encouragement. Real life isn't like that- the lucky children are helped and supported by their parents. You shouldn't do the work for her, but supporting and encouraging her is fine and to be commended.

You are teaching your daughter that you love her and are there for her. That is the best life lesson she can get, that she is loved.

Well my boss has done his son's A level geography coursework and was proudly saying he'd got an A in it!!

I think it goes in a lot but lots of people just don't admit to it.

I worry for young people because they are growing up in a world where it is so easy to cheat and for it to undetectable. I abhor the kind of thing you suggest op because it doesn't help with the development of the brain at all. Struggle and challenge are part of being human. As I understand it these challenges can be magnified for people with ADHD, but there are resources to help them. You would be better off seeking out these strategies than teaching her how to cheat.

If she won't be carrying on Art, I would tell her that she can submit almost anything and it will be Ok.
Show her what you have done, get her to try and redo a copy of what you have done and remind her this is the last time she will need to do this.
Feed her what ever makes her happy put some great music on and keep reminding her one less stroke to finish the demon project..... give it a name, and remind her soon it will be finished, perfect is not need, just you get it done....

But you are still doing her work for her………. still wrong

So I read the title and thought YABU, however I think you are absolutely fine. I wouldn't tell anybody of course but you have tried to support and she's don't 99% herself. When I did my GCSEs I was called up last minute to represent the country on sport , which made me miss making a display for my graphics GCSE. The class helper made if for me under instruction of the teacher!! I had done 99% and this was just an extra thag was needed but not an important piece, very similar to your situation with the portrait here

This thread is ridiculous. Your title is ‘AIBU to do my daughter’s GCSE course work?’ Since then, you’ve tried to minimise the ‘doing the coursework’ to writing out a few dates on post it notes and sitting with her. So which is it? Are you doing her coursework or not?

as many of us have pointed out, it’s not helpful to any child to be pushed into a position of lying, signing to confirm their work is all their own when they know it isn’t. Don’t patronise your daughter.. she knows what’s hers and what isn’t.

neither is it good for a child to not be able to cope with not being amazing at every subject or task. So what if she struggles with art? It’s a life lesson to learn we can’t all succeed at everything and to accept that with good grace.

I would feel I was letting myself down as a parent if I submitted something of mine rather than their own work. Just let her put in hers. Encourage, praise the best effort and reassure that this is the right thing to do. Then be proud of her on results day for all her subjects, as long as she’s tried her best.

I’ve got a feeling though that you’ve already made your mind up what you’re going to do so I don’t really understand the point of posting.

and yes, I’ve also had a neurodivergent child go through GCSEs and A levels, it’s not easy knowing how to support but doing it for them isn’t the answer

Strongly recommend the pp suggestion to draw it upside down. I find it really helps.

Or just submit her own work however poor. You said yourself that it's one picture in 100 so won't make much difference.

Don't teach your child that cheating and dishonesty is OK.

I would imagine the teacher will realise it’s not her work, then she’ll get zero.

Just encourage her to submit the best one she’s done so far.

You sound way too involved, standing over her and doing bits for her. Can you not tell her you’re proud of her for doing her best, even if it’s a bit rubbish sometimes?

Please don't teach your daughter this that this is ok - cheating because you have a disability is NOT ok, and the route you are going down is dangerous. You are doing her a huge disservice, which could very easily catch up to her in later life. Not to mention that she will probably have to sign something to say her art work is her own, and if she doesn't her work probably won't be accepted anyway, and if she does and it's then discovered she will be in serious trouble. She can use your drawing as a model or inspiration, but submitting it as hers would be cruel to her.

Whilst she has been out doing her paper rounds, ive drawn a grid over my drawing, for her to be able to use to copy on to a grid she draws, as like i said, the image was on a screen, and this one i have done is atleast the size she needs it to be and she is able to move it around and try different angles etc. im going to suggest this, although my drawing is far from perfect, and if she doesnt like that idea, or it doesnt go to plan, she can pop out and get something to trace, if that doesnt work, ill just have to try and encourage her to draw a line under this project, submit it how it is, have a movie night, and start on her revision as best we can tomorrow.

Thank you to all those who posted helpful advice without judgement, all im trying to do is help her the best i know how to help her.

You are not helping her here

If she fails, she fails.
This is an accurate measure of whether she can cope with the course. It doesn't help her to pretend it does.

If art is essential to what she wants to do, then she needs to ask big questions about whether she's cut out for it.

If it's not essential it's meaningless. She has other GCSEs.

If she doesn't get enough to carry on with her plans then she has bigger problems than this singular GCSE.

Then remove them from the bin and unscrew them.

One of the risks is that if it's found out, it won't just be her Art GCSE that's affected, it's potentially all her GCSE grades. JCQ rules about cheating are very very clear and one of the potential outcomes is that all the GCSEs for that learner are cancelled for that year - more likely to be any of the ones with coursework than any that are just exam, but still a possibility.

Guess there must be different circumstances between you and OP then 🙄

That is really sensible OP
Has she got any exam access arrangements? If I was your child's art teacher or form tutor, I would certainly want to know how difficult she is finding this. I can't give any idea of access arrangements for Art because I never did it, and have never supported in it, but there certainly should be some possibilities.

I've only read OP's posts so someone may have already suggested this, but have you tried 'body doubling'? Basically you would sit down with her and both do the task at the same time, either quietly or with you describing each part while you are doing it, so your daughter can follow. It can be helpful for some people with ADHD but not all

ADHD and ASD are a difficult mix (I have both), they contradict and fight against each other a lot of the time. Definitely not just like having one or the other. You are doing the best thing possible for your daughter by giving her as much help as she needs at this point, it's a really crucial time for ND girls as they tend to burn out around this age, so support can make all the difference to them. It sounds like you're doing a great job x

What meds is your dd on. Maybe ask.about having it increased. My 15 year dd is audhd and I've always let her fall short if she hasn't done it she bears the consequences. She's doing amazing now. Much better since being on concerta 54mg maybe give her an instant while she is doing it? My 10 Yr old dd has never done any homework again I'll let her experience the consequences when at comp. Otherwise how will college go and work etc if she isnt accountable for her actions now

Perfect. Take a photo of the bin (ideally wicker) with the failed attempts in. Pin one attempt out on board and include photos.
"Tribulations by Daughter of OP"
Mixed media
c2025

DD is working on her previous years book at the moment. It’s a struggle. She is ASD and if everything isn’t perfect she gets upset, she also has improved since last year and she finds that upsetting now.

What I say is, nothing has to be perfect. This is what the annotation is for, she can’t write that she didn’t like it, didn’t work out, why it didn’t work. It’s not about perfection but understanding what works didn’t work. Why it links to the work you are doing etc.

i feel your pain though - DD has had many ruined pieces of work.

Personally, I would help her. Do a sketch and ask her to finish it off. Don't tell anyone!