To do my daughters GCSE course work?

[LolaLouise]

My daughter is adhd diagnosed, probable autism which she is still on a waiting list for years after the referral was submitted, she gets frustrated and gives up quickly, she tries, she really does, but sometimes gets overwhelmed and cant continue a task.

Her art GCSE course work is due in this week, she was very behind. I have spent all last weekend and this weekend helping her get it done. Up until now its been sitting and encouraging her, ive done some of the research whilst shes been doing the sketches needed, and then shes re-written it out, suggestions of sketches she could do, and cutting it all out so she can place everything into her book, helping her with layouts and ordering, but mostly just keeping her on track and focussed in 2 hour windows. There was one piece of art required for it to be done, she tried, for hours, yesterday to do it, but she got so frustrated and couldnt do it, its a portrait of a person. She ended up getting quite upset with the drawing and the looming deadline. This isnt the first time she has attempted it, shes been trying to draw it for weeks, but i put it to one side as she was hyperfixated on it, and in order to get everything else done, i took it off the table and said we would do that last. The sketch is needed as her final piece was based around this portrait, though her final piece was just shapes no details. The teacher has told her she absolutly must include this portrait in her project. Her final exam has already been sat so she cant just change the direction of the project now.

So ive drawn it, its not great, i can draw a bit but not even close to being skilled, but its better than what she was able to produce. She doesnt know ive drawn it last night. Ive started the shading to block out the main shadows, but it needs finishing, which she can do in the same way she has shaded all her other work, it looks vaguely like the person its supposed to be if you squint a little bit. We are going to try again today, ive even suggested to her tracing the facial structure today if we can figure a way to do it as we have no thin paper left to trace with, just really thick watercolour paper and card left. But it needs finishing today to hand in tomorrow. Then we can focus on her other much needed revision.

Her college plans do not include something even close to art related, its one drawing in amongst probably 100 others over the 2 years of project work, in the grand scheme of things i dont think it will make a difference to her grade, but her teacher has said it has to be included, so she is building it up to be the most important thing ever. I just want to help her, and ease some of her stress. Would you give her the drawing and help her finish it? Or is it too much help? Ive convinced myself if she does the shading then its no different to having traced the initial drawing, which is perfectly acceptable in her work, we just dont have the access to do that easily today. Do we try the tracing first and it that goes wrong then i just give her this one to shade over? theres a chance she has tried tracing in school on the lightboxes and they have been discarded already, as i know she traced other images.

How much help is too much, considering her SEN, but also that this is GCSE work?

I think you'll destroy her self esteem if you do some of her coursework for her.

It can't be good for her self esteem that you've micromanaged her so much so far, either.

She's 15, 16? She can do all of it herself. It doesn't have to be perfect.

You're teaching her that ADHD makes people helpless. It's not true

YRNBU. At this point it is one small portrait-fair play though, I can’t do portraits. Just get it done and move on. Your DD will probably be delighted that she has a base to start from today and it will help her to complete it. Well done for supporting her.

Art GCSE is brutal. The hours and hours of input at home is massive and I don’t think they prepare students for it when they are picking options. Am surprised her course work isn’t already handed in though. DS had to hand in his on the first day of the exam on Thursday so that he couldn’t add to it after the exam had started…

That level of support is not transferable to exams or real life.

I think you should take some of these responses with a pinch of salt.
It's my feeling that the vast majority of parents want their children to do as well as possible and will help as much as possible; be it checking over work, hiring a tutor, revision classes or actually doing coursework for them. Where do you draw the line?
One thing's for sure, those who have 'cheated/helped' will never, ever admit to anyone that they have done their kid's work. Most teachers won't bother as it makes them look like better teachers .

It's not a huge problem if there's a sketch or two "missing" from her coursework. That's not really how coursework works.

If I were you I'd be way more hands off, and just offer praise, encouragement, materials, and a quiet calm environment.

Not micromanaging "now do the eyes! Now have a break! Here are facts on post-its for you to copy!"

Adhd kids (and adults) I know would be quite overwhelmed by all this, which would manifest as rage and frustration. Hence the screwing up sketches into balls. Let her do it her way

I would do it. It’s a GCSE that she isn’t going to use. I’d feel differently if she wanted to do it for A level. Her having a disability already means it isn’t a level playing field.

This is waaay too much help. You are just cheating

But thats the level of support the exam boards deemed appropriate for her. Real life is also a good few years away yet, a lot can change in a few years with maturity and skills learning. Her self management and ability to focus is a long way behind her peers so she has extra support in that, why is that a problem? At the moment, this is what she needs, and it is what i and the school are doing for her. The sitting with her and keeping her on task to do her to do the work in chunks of times with regular breaks is literally the advice i got from the SEN teacher in how best to support her through the exam period.

It's cheating and no i would not do it. I also have a severely dyslexic child with adhd. I could have done his coursework and tried to justify it like you, but it would have been wrong. If the gcse is not relevant to what she is doing going forward anyway then if she doesn't get a good grade it doesn't matter does it?

Not even close to what i was doing. I wrote some dates out whilst she drew, discussing other things to keep her from over thinking, i got up and made drinks, made food, whilst talking to her, i cut out the sketches she did. I didnt sit their barking orders of "do this, now do that" and nor have i implied at all that is what i did. You're creating a narritive that doesnt exist.

OP you're getting quite a hard time here I think
I know a lot of parents who have helped with coursework for GCSE. My son was struggling to get one of his things done on time and so whilst he worked on one but, I did a non essential but helpful thing to help him out.
My view is if overall it's not material to the final grade ie the substance of the work is theirs and you've helped on bits here and there, then that's fine. So a quick basic sketch of a face and she finishes off the shading and the rest so she can submit something seems OK to me. It doesn't sound like this is the main/only part of this project ?

it doesnt matter, the issue is until this is done she cant focus on the subjects that do matter, and i know that even after submitting this, if this one drawing isnt included because the teachers has said it needs to be included, it will play over and over in her mind and stop her focussing on revision she does need to do.

Far from it, she has over 40 pages of work completed in the project, shes is hyperfixated on this one drawing.

In which case OP, just do whatever is needed to get this done and off her mind today. If that's you doing a starter sketch and her finishing then do that.
Her SEN means that if she's fixated on this then she won't be doing other revision etc so theres a bigger picture here. Just help her over the line

No way! It’s cheating. She needs to learn to get things done by the deadline and not have temper tantrums and screw things up. That won’t be tolerated in the workplace. She will just get fired.

I understand why you are motivated to do it, but I think the issue will be that a) your DD may one day tell people that the work was not hers which may create all sorts of fall-out and b) because she knows it is not hers, it will undermine her self esteem and feed the sense of failure you are trying to avoid.

It’s not an essential GCSE for her future plans, having 8 GCSEs rather than 9 is immaterial at UCAS level, I would simply sit with her and say that if she want to bail on this one and focus on her other GCSEs (which I assume she needs to be revising for right now), I’d tell her you support dumping this one. Sometimes making decisions - to prioritise the rest of her GCSEs and park this one because it is adding a layer of stress she cannot manage right now - is the sensible and adult way.

It’s unfortunate that you’ve not got an Autism diagnosis in hand as it would have provided scope for an extension and other accommodations… but in the grand scheme of things GCSEs are really not that important once you have A Levels/degree. They are just a stepping stone to those qualifications… and sometimes you need to side step or jump over the odd stone along the way.

It's one piece of work. If this was repeated, then yeh I would say you aren't teaching her good things for the long term but in this case, one piece of work won't effect her long term

I was about to say, just get it done and get on with it but then I thought that the way grades are given in the UK, you may be cheating other students away from a passing grade so my advice is…

Instead of cheating reassure her that no one is good at everything, that she is unlikely to fail the course, that she doesn’t need it as she doesn’t plan to study art and for the same reason, that nobody would care about her grade. You don’t show your GCSE certificates when applying for a job.

Personally, your kid is not going through a uniquely difficult assignment due to her ADHD. The adhd doesn’t help but believe me, there are hundreds of art GCSE students crying or pulling their head out at this time, it is a very demanding and time consuming gcse, yet many students that join it, they choose it because they think it will be easy or just like a crafts leisure class.

My son is studying a science degree in a top ten university, he got a 4 in German and I can assure you, nobody cares… and for what is worth he still know more German than most people so.. it is all about helping them to gain perspective.

Absolutely this. You are getting a lot of judgement on here. My DD has ASD & ADHD and presents with huge demand avoidance. We aren't quite at exams stage yet but watching her with homework is heartbreaking at times, sometimes she literally can't get the words on the page (lots of screwed up paper here too!)
When she will let me I'll type while she dictates, this is also something allowed in exams as a reasonable adjustment.
You are doing your absolute best, this is not cheating, this is attempting to guide your child through a school system that causes huge trauma to many ND kids in so many different ways.

You're creating a narritive that doesnt exist.

Par for the course on here!

In all honesty, if she’s not doing anything related to art in college if she doesn’t submit this piece and fails this subject - there will be no impact on her in the future. As long as she understands the consequences, just leave it. It’s not worth the upset honestly. Lee her focus on what she’s good at ❤️

Please don't. It's cheating and is dishonest. Why should the work of an adult be compared to that of a sixteen year old?
And I'll happily declare my vested interest here, my daughter did art GCSE last year and is doing A level this year. All of her work is her own.

I teach secondary art. I would recommend googling ‘proportions of face for drawing’ or similar. It will show you how to put in some guidelines to help your DD understand where the features should go. If the portrait isn’t facing forward you can Google ‘looking to the left’ etc.
I use it all the same for myself when drawing, as well as showing the students I teach.
If you sketch them in lightly with a pencil, you can rub them out at the end, or they disappear with the shading.
If the features are in proportion and in the right place it makes an enormous difference to the finished drawing.

What’s the point? She’ll always know you did it for her, how does it help her long term?

It’s probably for Component 1, that can be worked on until the school’s internal deadline for marking.