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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed at DH unrealistic exprctations

107 replies

Outandabout43 · 04/05/2025 11:16

DH just seems to be unrealistic with his expectations. When DS now 4 was a baby he just expected him to sleep when he was supposed to fed when he was supposed to and generally just fit in with his previous life. He is still like it now woth DS and expects him to just sit quietly watching TV and to be fully obedient until he is ready to play with him.

He has said for a long time he wanted a dog, so we got a puppy and the same thing is happening again. Puppy is 11 weeks and has been with us a week. He expects him to just be potty trained and sleep in his crate within a couple of days, he expects him to never bark and to be able to be left alone in a room whilst we all potter around the home. I've told him this is unrealistic and can take months.

He is now walking around slamming things and swearing, saying he wants to get rid of the dog. He's so argumentative at the moment and nothing anyone does is right. Apparently every time the dog doesn't do something he wants its somehow my fault.

AIBU to be really annoyed at this. How do I get it through to him it just needs patience (which appears to be something he lacks)

OP posts:
Cucy · 04/05/2025 15:43

I would ask what redeeming qualities he has that makes you stay with him.

But if those qualities only appear when he’s completely happy and everyone else is doing whatever he wants, then they don’t actually count.

I’m guessing he’s great if you’re walking around on egg shells, pandering to him and keeping the dog and child out of his way.
Those times do not count.

Raise your bar OP.
He’s not even giving you the bare minimum of what it means to be an equal partner.

SeventeenClovesOfGarlic · 04/05/2025 16:17

@NotSorry are you not worried about Littermate Syndrome?

VanillaDaydream · 04/05/2025 18:06

Sounds like the husband needs rehoming…

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 06/05/2025 00:07

This "man" is a person you are letting around your son? Why, oh why, do women put up with this crap? Your DS, the day he was born, became number one. Your AHWNAADH (asshole, worthless, not at all dear husband) treats your child like crap, and you are allowing it. Now he is treating the dog like crap, and you're allowing it.

Let him live all by his lonesome. He deserves nothing more.

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 06/05/2025 00:09

VanillaDaydream · 04/05/2025 18:06

Sounds like the husband needs rehoming…

ITA! Keep the dog, rehome the asshole. The dog will give you much more love back.

Iateallthechocolate · 06/05/2025 00:42

Husband needs to go

GingersOwner26 · 06/05/2025 01:16

Rehome the husband first of all.

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