To be annoyed at DH unrealistic exprctations

[Outandabout43]

DH just seems to be unrealistic with his expectations. When DS now 4 was a baby he just expected him to sleep when he was supposed to fed when he was supposed to and generally just fit in with his previous life. He is still like it now woth DS and expects him to just sit quietly watching TV and to be fully obedient until he is ready to play with him.

He has said for a long time he wanted a dog, so we got a puppy and the same thing is happening again. Puppy is 11 weeks and has been with us a week. He expects him to just be potty trained and sleep in his crate within a couple of days, he expects him to never bark and to be able to be left alone in a room whilst we all potter around the home. I've told him this is unrealistic and can take months.

He is now walking around slamming things and swearing, saying he wants to get rid of the dog. He's so argumentative at the moment and nothing anyone does is right. Apparently every time the dog doesn't do something he wants its somehow my fault.

AIBU to be really annoyed at this. How do I get it through to him it just needs patience (which appears to be something he lacks)

This.

What a damaging environment for a child to grow up in.

They deserve more OP and so do you.

OP, please take the poor, poor dog back to the breader and let it have the chance of finding a loving home. Your home is the opposite of loving. This is cruelty and you must surely know that. I can't understand why in god's name you agreed to get a dog knowing what an utter cunt your DH is.

What is this "allowed" shit? Why is he dictating who can do what in their own home? What would he do if you just said "put a sock in it, David, our son can play freely in his own home. You don't own us all"?

Rehome your husband. And maybe the dog, too.

Poor puppy, this is so cruel. Please allow him to be rehomed so that he can be loved. So unfair, they need constant cuddles and reassurance having been taken from Mother so young.

Definitely think you should get rid. You, your child and the puppy deserve better than this arse.

He sounds like a prick

He sounds appalling. How could you cope day to day with this shit.
Does he have a personality disorder? Or is he a sociopath or something?
I don't think you should be with him. I wouldn't trust him alone with the dog or the child. I'd be concerned he'd abuse them physically with an attitude like that.

OP you sound like you need a long weekend away with your girlfriends and because your husband is so so very capable he will of course have no issues stepping up with caring for your baby and the puppy for say Friday to. Onsay.. and of course you are so sorry , you where going to fill the fridge for him and get up to date with washing but because you where busy you ran out time 😉

Keep dog. Rehome twattish husband with his mother.

Yep another vote for taking the poor puppy back to the breeder so the puppy will go to a better home. Poor thing will be petrified with him slamming doors etc.

What an idiot thinking the puppy would be housetrained and behaving perfectly within a couple of days. Also depending on the breed you could have a “Velcro” dog who follows you everywhere (even when out of the puppy stage).

It wouldn't be the dog here.

The puppy has plenty of scope for learning and improvement. Can't say the same for a grown man this dim and aggressive.

Having said that I think you be better off getting rid of your awful husband so you can allow your child to be a child. I couldn’t live with someone like that - he sounds controlling not a very nice person at all.

Return the puppy to breeder/ rescue centre.
Tell husband to move out and maybe come back when he’s grown up. I doubt he’ll improve though.

He sounds a bit thick tbh

Tell him to grow up and stop acting like a childish twat.

Even my teen knows to be patient and would not expect a young child or puppy to understand how to do things without being taught over time.

And why is it then it’s all your fault.

He sounds absolutely awful!

I would rehome the husband and keep the dog !

This.

we got a dog in when my son just turned two and it was a hell for a few weeks. We did get through it but somehow think my DH looked at getting a dog through rose tinted glasses as opposed to the reality of hard work. Do not keep the dog unless you are prepared to do everything for it. There is no shame is rehoming it- best thing to do is call the breeder and explain.

while you are at it I would think very carefully about having anymore children with this man…

Annoyed? I'd be fkn raging tbh. He'd be told to fk off and not to tell me when we were 'allowed' in rooms in our house. Is this the life you want for you and your child? I could not live like this and I suggest you think on about what your future could be like if this is the way he goes on...

@Outandabout43 OP, your H is abusive. He is controlling, verbally abusive and dangerous. You and your son are walking on eggshells and that is NOT RIGHT. If your H considers himself the owner of the pup and walks it, he isn’t going to take kindly to being told to rehome it so set the pup to one side for now. You need to leave for the sake of your son. Find your mama bear and get angry. Protect the most precious thing you have - your son. He is more important than the puppy.

Do you own or rent? Do you work? You need to collect important documents and keep them safe while you get your ducks in a row. Leave him and let him deal with the dog. Once you leave then you can get the pup out of the situation but you and your son need to get out and get safe first xx

Sounds like it.

Give him what he needs, rehome that poor puppy and kick this miserable man out of your lives. Your poor DS, this is no way for him to spend his childhood.

Immature, selfish and totally unwilling to learn about and take on board the developmental milestones and needs of your child and your puppy. He won't change, poor you.

Basically, he is a dick. He is showing you what a dick he is.

Sounds like a raging narcissist to me.

Everyone else is just a non-playable character.