Executor asking for money back

[naffusername]

So, MIL died in August of 22. Number three son was named Executor. There are four sons in total.

Will stated family home was to be sold and proceeds divided equally among her surviving sons. Two sons had moved back home 20 years ago and never left.

House was sold in 23 after going through Probate.. Funds were released in December of 23.

No notice, we just found a large chunk of cash in our chequing account. We contacted the lawyer for a statement of account and were given the bare details. Our bank was happy with us and told us that the money was tax free (inheritance law here) and if the funds were released it was ours and nobody should be asking for anything after the fact.

Fast forward to April of 25. The Executor has been in touch and wants $10K to settle "our share of the taxes owing on the Estate". He claims that he released the funds early because he and brother number 4 needed to buy places to live! Husband pointed out that he had received his Executor's fees and then he turned around and said he'd never wanted the job!

Husband wants to give it to his brother as he doesn't want there to be "any bad blood in the family". I reminded him of what the bank told us and have checked on line with our tax agency. Our oldest son basically said his Father is a fool to even consider giving back the money as the funds being released signal the estate is settled.

There are no family ties to break. This was the first we'd heard from any of the brothers since November 23. They never were a close family and had no time for us when we visited and I doubt they would recognize our children. My sons did visit their Grandmother but were aware that there was some memory issues and that the son name as Executor didn't seem to want them there.

So do we pay 10K or write of a relationship that doesn't exist?

I don't think you are being greedy, you just want clarity. If it's similar to the UK then taxes are paid before distribution. If the executor did it wrong, and I can't see how because a solicitor would have managed it, then that's on him.

I took think he just wants money out of you. The ball is in his court now.

[UK point—not everyone uses solicitors for probate. We didn’t. It isn’t mandatory.]

@Abra1t No. you don’t need to but the Executor in this jurisdiction can be paid and the estate appears to be worth over $2.5 m from what op says. So why not get it done professionally? I found a solicitor helpful and they really would avoid early payouts and asking for money back.

That's not how our system works. Nobody is forced to sell their home to pay for care.

The two married brothers had been asking her to downsize for over 15 years as the house was just too big for her (1/4 acre of land and multiple bedrooms). She wanted to stay with her garden and "where would the boys store their boats and caravans if I sold the house".

My family was paying $500/month for a companion to check in on her during the day and drive and go with her to appointments. My husband also arranged for a lawn company to take care of the yard work because the live in brothers were too busy to do it.

The two brothers that lived in were in no way "care givers". They also neglected to tell the married brothers they had admitted her to hospital.

My husband was told at 1600 Friday that she'd been in hospital for a week. She died the next day. It was the companion that called to tell my husband and ask if she should continue to visit her in hospital.

@naffusername So I guess she could have gone into a care home? So who did actual care? Health and welfare? The family don’t appear to function well. Seems somewhat haphazard. So a live in brother is executor?

1/4 acre isn’t that big.

She was a very fit, independent old gal. There was no actual care needed really. She cooked and cleaned. A bit stiff and slowing down but she wasn't an invalid. There are a lot of elders like her. As long as they are occupied many can manage the basics.

A quarter of an acre in residential areas is a lot of land in the city where she lived.

The eldest of the two live in brothers was named the Executor. Much to the other married brother's dismay. My husband as the eldest understood why he was bypassed, due to the distance involved.

They are honestly were some of the strangest people I've met. My Father in law played his sons of against each other and was quite frankly a dictator. His way or the highway. We visited three times a year when our children were younger as we wanted them to know their grandparents. We stayed at my Mum's which was 90 minute drive despite there being more room at his parents place.

There are freakier families out there, I mean look at the Royal Family, lol.

I'm not really sure what the issue is here. The tax bill is often not fully settled until absolutely everything has been completed. To get probate you have to make an estimate of the taxes due and this may change by the end. If the estate owes another 40K in tax then your share is 10K if it was an equal distribution of the remaining estate to the brothers. As the beneficiary you're fully entitled to see the full accounts from the executor and this should outline whether it is or isn't due. It's also not at all uncommon for funds to be released early prior to the full estate being wrapped up. It's not necessarily true that the executor made a mistake it may be that there was just a lack of communication around distribution of the initial set of funds and reminding you that you may want to hold on to some until the tax bill was fully settled. You've just come into a whole load of money so I'm not sure why you would expect the other brothers to pick up the tax bill, assuming it is a genuine one. If you were all equal beneficiaries then you are all equally responsible for the costs and they could legitimately sue you for it, again that's assuming it's genuine and backed up by the executor accounts. Also executors are entitled to payment and costs for their time and expense and wills often state this. This doesn't mean the poor chap also has to pay your share of the tax bill! Being an executor is absolutely no fun whatsoever and hard and stressful work.

I disagree, it is bloody unusual for the executor to not mention a word about the tax being estimated and that the final sum handed over to beneficiaries may be an over estimate and some may have to be returned/paid to tax years down the line!

It is also highly irregular for the beneficiaries in a will like this not to have/be offered copies of the relevant paperwork/statements.

The issue is simply that the executor has allegedly paid out to the beneficiaries before the estate has been fully settled. He’s now asking for ten grand extra to settle the tax without a shred of evidence that the money is owed, or that he will pay it. OP’s husband wants to pay up to keep the peace. I don’t blame her for wanting to see paperwork first.

@naffusername Maybe your DH needs to visit his brother the executor? It doesn’t seem a great set up in terms of communication.

I meant upkeep of 1/4 acre isn’t that daunting.

Agreed.

Also I disagree with pps saying its your husbands issue don't get involved.
He's been bereaved and it can be an emotional upheaval dealing with the aftermath of the estate and relations.
Its the time to support him.
It does affect you too if he starts surrendering money in an attempt to placate a DB who hasn't shown much interest or contact.

If there's been a mistake and there is a genuine tax bill owing on the estate.. then I'm guessing your husband will want to help... but you must help him out by insisting (which he might be reluctant to do) on seeing the paperwork and the exact amount.

It's not unethical to have your husbands back.

updated after reading updates.

Your husband needs to see all related paperwork so he can decide what he needs to pay, if anything. I'm sure you would have been notified of anything outstanding to pay once the funds were released so I'm not sure how it's taken this long for the Brother to be requesting anything from you.

I am not surprised you don’t understand the issue as your post contains several errors regarding how the process works:
To get probate you don’t make an estimate of the taxes due. IHT must be paid before probate is granted but other taxes which may be due are not estimated at that point.
you don’t distribute and ask beneficiaries to hold on to some money incase there are more bills. You can make an interim payment, but you don’t distribute the entire estate until all expenses have been settled.
lf the executor has distributed the entire estate, then he may be personally liable for any debts due after distribution. So could be personally liable for the whole bill.
executors can claim costs, but not for their time, unless this was stipulated in the will. Clearly there may be different rules in other jurisdictions.