Executor asking for money back

[naffusername]

So, MIL died in August of 22. Number three son was named Executor. There are four sons in total.

Will stated family home was to be sold and proceeds divided equally among her surviving sons. Two sons had moved back home 20 years ago and never left.

House was sold in 23 after going through Probate.. Funds were released in December of 23.

No notice, we just found a large chunk of cash in our chequing account. We contacted the lawyer for a statement of account and were given the bare details. Our bank was happy with us and told us that the money was tax free (inheritance law here) and if the funds were released it was ours and nobody should be asking for anything after the fact.

Fast forward to April of 25. The Executor has been in touch and wants $10K to settle "our share of the taxes owing on the Estate". He claims that he released the funds early because he and brother number 4 needed to buy places to live! Husband pointed out that he had received his Executor's fees and then he turned around and said he'd never wanted the job!

Husband wants to give it to his brother as he doesn't want there to be "any bad blood in the family". I reminded him of what the bank told us and have checked on line with our tax agency. Our oldest son basically said his Father is a fool to even consider giving back the money as the funds being released signal the estate is settled.

There are no family ties to break. This was the first we'd heard from any of the brothers since November 23. They never were a close family and had no time for us when we visited and I doubt they would recognize our children. My sons did visit their Grandmother but were aware that there was some memory issues and that the son name as Executor didn't seem to want them there.

So do we pay 10K or write of a relationship that doesn't exist?

Look it's very simple really - if your husband owes it then it should be paid. But the BIL needs to show the proof that it is truly owing. Does seem odd that he's only asking for it now though so long after probate has been granted and the house sold which is why I'd insist on seeing the paperwork.

This!

Why are OP and her son greedy for pointing out that it’s unwise to hand over the money with no proof that it’s owed and no way of knowing if it will be paid ? If the inheritance has been paid into a joint account, which sounds very much the case, as OP has referred to ‘our bank’ then the money is a joint marital asset and as such OP has an equal say in what happens to it. Handing over ten grand with no proof it’s even owed just to jeep the peace is insane and l’d be furious with my DH for even suggesting something like this.

Before you do anything you ask for a full breakdown of the estate and a full breakdown of all outgoings so executor fees what it’s been spent on with involved to prove. A copy of any tax bills still owing a copy of what was sent to each party copy of how much the house was sold for and any other bills settled. Then you can decide if there £10k is owed

I’m not sure OP is in the UK.

There can well be other taxes. We paid IHT before probate, but then there were two tax returns to be done for my mother’s income tax for the year before she died and that year. Then there was the estate’s own self-assessment as it received a small amount of interest on delayed payments of insurance. Then if a property sells for more than values at for probate, there can be CGT.

i am keeping back some funds in case the latest form I filled in shows we still owe income tax. I actually don’t believe we do, but best to be cautious rather than ask other beneficiaries to refund the estate.

those who say all tax is paid before probate is granted you can still owe tax if the deceased owed income tax as you can pay this after probate

But OP is clear that the brother says the tax is due on the estate owing to the fact that he released the funds too early. I just don’t see how this is possible because probate isn’t granted until the estate fees have been paid.

In the uk it’s clear mistakes are down to the executor! Dont pay out until all taxes are paid. DIY is the enemy here. If you use a decent solicitor you don’t get this rubbish. The executor is responsible. However full accounts should be shown if they want money after distribution and op is entertaining this as a possibility. I now would expect to see the will, the accounts and the tax demand! Is it accurate? Is it too high? Can it be argued against? What tax is it? Full details should be given. What do other brothers think?

The op gave the executor their account details presumably. This is all very badly managed and irregular. Bigger fool the executor.

@naffusername
I think it's important to know what country you are in, some posters seem to assume UK when you are obviously not.

I would ask for sight of the official documentation stating the amounts due and to whom - simply to prevent another request for more money down the line because affairs still weren't properly settled. At least if you've seen the paperwork you a) know it's true and official b) know who to pay the monies to and c) know that this will be the last full and final payment and DB isn't going to come after you for another 10k a year or so down the line.

OP refers to ‘our bank’ in her posts. If the funds were paid into a joint account then they are a joint marital asset and OP has equal say over what happens to them. It isn’t greedy to point out that it’s unwise to hand over a large sum of money with no proof it’s owed, just to keep the peace. Which, according to OP is what her DH is proposing.

@oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends Paying out before you know the full tax position is poor anywhere in the world.

If there should have been taxes paid before the probate was finished, it is fair that that money comes from all the beneficiaries. They should have come out before the money was dived so all should lose equally.

For example:
There was £12 and there were £4 taxes to pay
£12 - £4 = £8 and then the £8 is split so £2 for each brother

If the money had already been spilt
£12 divided by 4 = £3 for each brother
Then there is £4 taxes to pay which is £1 off each brother so each brother gets £3 - £1 = £2 so each brother has £2 left.

However I would definately ask for proof as the fact the brother who is executor managed to give out the inheritance before the debts had all been cleared makes my wonder what other huge mess ups he's made. Like as executor that is like an enormous blunder!

This

This exactly. No paperwork no money. He's entitled to see everything, at the end of the day he's trusted that the amount received was a quarter of the home sold but without seeing paperwork how does he know he wasn't short changed

Be fair to the brother who was executor. But - make sure you have clear evidence that what he is saying is true before sending him any money. He could be have made this up.

It's not we, it's your dhs decision. Whatever he wants to do .

@tripleginandtonic Most of us in marriages do discuss what WE do! We might have had plans for the money! This is now an expense. A big one if the Op and Dh have spent the money! Of course it’s WE at this stage.

In the uk it would actually be the executor paying this. They have sole responsibility!

TizerorFizz · Today 10:02

"In the uk it would actually be the executor paying this. They have sole responsibility!"

Precisely why I asked.

Why isn’t it ‘we’ ? OP indicated that the money was paid into their joint account (‘our bank’). That renders it a joint marital asset and as one half of the relationship OP is entitled to an equal say in what happens to it.

The op needs to look at the rules where she is. Uk law isn’t helpful if it’s not Uk. However if she said where she was some people might have accurate advice. Feeling sorry for the executor is misplaced though.

Surely the bank just told you YOU don’t need to pay tax not that the estate didn’t need to pay?

yiur husband needs proper proof - paperwork and paper trail and take it from there

The problem is that the law doesn't work like that in England and may not work like that wherever OP is, so it's a bit silly to be telling her she owns half the money when you don't know the legal position. At divorce, when the money is unspent it can be treated as individual inheritance.

There is a moral element here, where DH doesn't fancy ripping off his brother due to an honest mistake but OP is happy to. OP may yet find out how assets are treated in divorce with this sort of behaviour, so it's unwise to give her false hope of what she will be entitled to.

Please ask to see ALL the paperwork.
I know someone who was asked for 10k and it turned out the real figures had not included any belongings of the deceased and they were owed 59k.

What if the OP has already contributed several million pounds into their joint finances and this is the first money ever to come in from her partner? Is it still his to do whatever he wants with? If he did take that that attitude might she be reasonable to reconsider hers?