In a galaxy not so far away:
MM hey Harry baby, I bet you want to marry me and we can be the A list cool prince and princess, it’ll be fun!
H: yeah! Cool! We can show them I’m better than bloody W!
RF: welcome MM, here’s your royal stuff, they’re the rules of the club, together with the long list that club members benefit from. Ps, pretty much everyone has higher status than you, it’s just club rules
MM: Damn! This is crazy, I’m not living my life in the spotlight, being on every front page and having intrusion into my private life! And why should I curtesy ffs?! Harry! Do something!
H: Hello Gran, me and Megla-ego want to leave the club. The rules are ridiculous and it’s not fair. No, we’re going, don’t try to stop us!
HMTLQ: erm…ok, can you just give your entry passes back. Thankyou so much, we’re still cool tho, ok?
a few months later
MM: Harry, the bank account is empty, go get some more please
H: eh?! What? How? It normally just appears magically. Let me call Dad. Hey - dad - I think my magic bank account is broken - can you fix it?
KC: Sorry son, it only works when you’re a member of the club you left.
H: Megsey, he says no, I bet he wouldn’t to W and K. OMG they HATE me, it’s SO UNFAIR
MM: yes, Oprah, and then Harry’s Nan, Kate and that horrid Camilla set my room on fire and told EVERYONE to not speak to me
RF: er..no, actually
H: and then my dad said, and W took my favourite car, and dad let him because he loves him more and I had sex, took drugs and won the war in Afghanistan and everything. I DEMAND MY SPECIALNESS BE RECOGNISED. GIVE ME THE UK POLICE FORCE AND INTEL NOW. NOT THE RUBBISH ONES WHO DONT HAVE GUNS AND THAT. I WANT THE FIGHTY ONES. IM GOING TO COST THE ECONOMICALLY STRUGGLING UK ££££££££££££ IN ENDLESS COURT CASES.
RF and UK: Harry, please fuck off now. Go to your room and don’t come out until…just don’t come out,