AIBU if I report a weed smoking next door neighbour?

[TwinklyNavyPoster]

I (F, 27) live in a mid-terrace house with my husband (M, 30) and baby (M, 13 weeks). We have lived here for 2 years and it became quickly apparent when we moved in that our next door neighbour regularly smokes weed. I know it's my next door neighbour as whenever the smell appears, they have a specific upstairs window open and if I watch the window, I can see smoke coming from it.

I have no issue with people smoking cannabis, but I can't stand the smell. I did find our neighbours habit quite irritating from the get go as it is frequent, I can't leave washing outside to dry as it picks up the smell, and if I leave the windows open in warm weather the smell makes its way indoors. However, I hate confrontation and actually like our neighbour so I've always just put up with it.

Since having my son, the weather has improved and I'm smelling weed again more often. I'm really trying to bite my tongue, but I write this at 4:50am when I've just had to stop feeding the baby to get up and close the bedroom window in 24 degree heat because it absolutely reeks. I'm feeling really irritated and upset with my neighbour as they know we have a baby and I think it's really inconsiderate.

First and foremost, I'm worried about baby as I'm concerned about the effects second hand cannabis smoke could have on him - but I don't know if I'm over-reacting or being overly protective. Does anyone know if second hand cannabis smoke is dangerous for babies? I feel like it must be, but I'm unsure if this is just if you smoke directly in front of them - since the smoke is coming from next door perhaps this doesn't count? I will note that the window they smoke from is directly adjacent to our bedroom window, and our baby is currently sleeping in the same room as us as per safe sleep guidelines.

Secondly, AIBU if I report the neighbour for ASB? I don't feel comfortable bringing it up with them in-person and I don't know what else to do.

TL;DR - is second hand cannabis smoke harmful to babies, and AIBU if I report my next door neighbour for ASB for regularly smoking weed out of the window of their mid-terrace house?

Depending where you live and how busy your police force is will depend if they log the info for "Intel" or if they take any action. I highly doubt 1 single strand complaint will do anything. I don't think it will do any harm to your baby as it's not in direct line of the smoke it's actually just the smell u are getting but if it was me I'd just move your baby in to its own room (My DS was 8wks when he went in his own room), the best thing I ever did for all of us was put my DS in his room, he had 2 nights where he woke up twice then from that day on he slept 10-12 hours straight it was marvelous.

It's annoying especially if you don't like the smell of weed. I don't think any law enforcers will be interested in this. You could ask you'd GP about your health concerns.

My neighbours smoke in the communal garden by the wall so it sort of travelled up the wall directly into my flat through the windows. I asked politely if they would mind moving further into the garden. They apologised and moved. Never an issue from that day on. Just ask.

I'd have to move. I really can't stand the smell of weed.

I don't mind people having cannabis edibles but smoking it is the most horrifically anti social thing I can think of.

Really? The most horrifically anti social thing you can think of? Are you short of imagination or something? I mean it's not great, I'm not a fan of the smell either but it's hardly the worst thing ever.

Yes, second hand cannabis smoke is dangerous for babies. The question is whether it’s as dangerous drifting in through an open window from some distance as it is smoking in the same room/house as them. Probably not AS risky, but still not risk free, would be my guess.
I think I would try talking to them before I went involving the Police or anything. You’ve said you like them, so they must be ok people.
’Look this is awkward for me to bring up but I hope you understand and can help me out. The cannabis smoke from your bedroom window is drifting into my bedroom where me and my baby are sleeping. I’m worried about my baby breathing it in. Is there any chance you could smoke somewhere else? I can’t close the window when it’s warm. Say this to them or put it in a note. Honestly id be doing everything possible to resolve this amicably if you can.
Last resort- yes report them, since you’ve tried your best to be reasonable.

You’re so worried about your child, but can’t find it in yourself (or husband) to go and have a friendly word? Not the point, I know, but I don’t get this. And I’m in no way a ballsy person.

Why don’t you write a note, attach it to a bottle of wine and say - would you mind smoking in another room as the smoke/smell is coming into the room baby sleeps in.

if you like this person, presumably they are decent enough, they probably don’t realise the impact it’s having. Good luck.

Don’t be so fucking ridiculous. What an idiotic comment.

Exactly what I was coming on to say!

No one posts like that on MN!!

Pathetic comment. They know the law yet they are breaking it. They are ruining their own lives. Nobody is doing it for them.
I most certainly would report them.

Thing is it’s like so many other illegal activities, the police don’t care and won’t act so people can do what they like. It’s everywhere now, people smoke it openly in the streets. I really wonder exactly what the police do deal with.

I understand how you feel. I actually like the smell even though I don't smoke it (or anything else for that matter). I think having a friendly word with your neighbour would be best. Say you're concerned about the baby and just ask if they could smoke elsewhere or close their window or something. I don't think the small amount of second hand cannabis smoke will harm your baby so don't worry about that. But no smoke would obviously be better.

You can try and report but it’s unlikely you will find anywhere to report it and have it actually taken seriously. My friend had the same problem, terraced house in an area with a lot of HMOs and people smoking weed on either side and it was seeping through the walls and floorboards. Reported to the neighbours landlords, to council and to police (not just about the weed there were other antisocial issues) but nobody cared. Friend’s solution once she realised nobody was going to tackle the issue was to move bedrooms around so that her kids weren’t in the worst effected rooms, to get builders in to re-plaster anr sort out the gaps in the walls/ floor/ chimneys and vents where smoke was getting in, to get air purifiers and air con in the house so windows never had to be opened. Cost a fortune but cheaper than moving and it did fix the problem.

Your neighbours can smell you puff puffing away for sure. I think you are selfish to not realise this and wait for someone to talk to you. You have seen how reticent OP is to say something despite the fact the doubie doubie gang are hubba bubbering away at 4am. Don't be a stone cold stoner.

This is a good idea! Take a bottle of wine and hand it over and say I’m bringing this to butter you up because I have a bit of an awkward request…… your smoke comes in my babies bedroom, would you mind smoking away from my window a bit?

Op, I'd post a note through saying something like the following:

"Hi, just a little note to ask if you wouldn't mind smoking a little further away/or blowing smoke in the opposite direction, if possible. It is drifting into my windows, and unsettling baby. Nobody wants a crying baby, and closed windows in this heat! Thank you so much, and I'm jealous of your relaxation!
From number 32 (the sleep deprived parent next-door 😂😴)."

Edited to say: yes, attach it to a bottle of wine/4 pack of beers or something.

@OldDemdike I can think of hundreds of more anti social things!

There are thousands of criminal offences in the uk. Surely you realise the police and judicial have to make decisions about which ones they spend resources enforcing? They’re not just a service you phone up and they enforce any law you fancy identifying to them

You can get ash trays that suck the air in and filter it probably not expensive from Amazon

could you buy him one , wrap it up like a present and pop a note in asking him. If he could use it as your anxious about the baby

So the neighbour is doing something illegal and the op is the one that has to spend money and provide a solution?

That comments completely uncalled for.

Stop being a coward and talk to them! Neighbours like you cause issues unnecessarily. Make them aware of the problem, and most reasonable people will do their best not to be a nuisance. I would never even consider reporting a neighbour without first being a reasonable human being. I'll be honest, a reasonable conversation would make me listen and work with my neighbours. Reporting me would make me do it all the more for being so nasty

I feel for you OP. I’m not sure the police will do much though, unless there is reason to think your neighbour is growing or dealing it. Is the neighbour a tenant or the owner? If they are a tenant, at least there is hope they might move on.

We had a tenant in our small block of flats a few years ago who smoked weed morning, noon & night. Stank the entire block out, it was very depressing. He was also an intimidating character and always seemed off his face on other things too, so there was no question of approaching him. We got his LL to contact him and he just denied it was him! We eventually reported it to our Local Safer Neighbourhoods police office, as there were kids in the block breathing the stuff in and the smell pervaded every flat. A couple of police officers came round and made a big show of knocking on everyone’s doors to tell us all that cannabis is illegal, including the perpetrator. When one neighbour told them it was definitely Flat X, they claimed they couldn’t smell it! Despite there being such a permanent cloud of weed fug that workmen used to comment on it when they came round to do maintenance.

Thankfully the nightmare tenant did a runner after about 6 months.

Go and have a chat, its really low priority for police. my friend had a 24h hour crack house opposite , it took 3 years of phoning police, council, neighbourhood teams to have it closed down, users would often buy and then smoke it in her front garden.

You need to bite the bullet and have a conversation. It doesn’t need to be confrontational, just approach them nicely and explain that it’s affecting you because the smoke is coming in to your home and you have a baby. I’m sure they’ll understand and try and be more considerate. I mean they obviously don’t want the smell in their own home either if they’re smoking out the window, so they should get it!