AIBU if I report a weed smoking next door neighbour?

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I (F, 27) live in a mid-terrace house with my husband (M, 30) and baby (M, 13 weeks). We have lived here for 2 years and it became quickly apparent when we moved in that our next door neighbour regularly smokes weed. I know it's my next door neighbour as whenever the smell appears, they have a specific upstairs window open and if I watch the window, I can see smoke coming from it.

I have no issue with people smoking cannabis, but I can't stand the smell. I did find our neighbours habit quite irritating from the get go as it is frequent, I can't leave washing outside to dry as it picks up the smell, and if I leave the windows open in warm weather the smell makes its way indoors. However, I hate confrontation and actually like our neighbour so I've always just put up with it.

Since having my son, the weather has improved and I'm smelling weed again more often. I'm really trying to bite my tongue, but I write this at 4:50am when I've just had to stop feeding the baby to get up and close the bedroom window in 24 degree heat because it absolutely reeks. I'm feeling really irritated and upset with my neighbour as they know we have a baby and I think it's really inconsiderate.

First and foremost, I'm worried about baby as I'm concerned about the effects second hand cannabis smoke could have on him - but I don't know if I'm over-reacting or being overly protective. Does anyone know if second hand cannabis smoke is dangerous for babies? I feel like it must be, but I'm unsure if this is just if you smoke directly in front of them - since the smoke is coming from next door perhaps this doesn't count? I will note that the window they smoke from is directly adjacent to our bedroom window, and our baby is currently sleeping in the same room as us as per safe sleep guidelines.

Secondly, AIBU if I report the neighbour for ASB? I don't feel comfortable bringing it up with them in-person and I don't know what else to do.

TL;DR - is second hand cannabis smoke harmful to babies, and AIBU if I report my next door neighbour for ASB for regularly smoking weed out of the window of their mid-terrace house?

This is the most ridiculous and unhelpful comment I've ever seen 🤣 unfortunately I can't just move because I have a weed smoking neighbour, moving costs money we don't have - solicitor, surveys, van hire, re-mortgaging, stamp duty, mortgage advisor - the list goes on. Even if I were to move, who is to say I won't move in next door to another weed smoker? Unless I view a property whilst someone is smoking weed next door, how would I know until I've moved in and it's too late?

It's totally unreasonable to suggest I or anyone else should move or put my life on hold just because of that, what a braindead suggestion. My baby categorically has a safe and loving home to grow up in, I cannot control what happens in the house next door.

In this case you probably don’t want a police record of a neighbour dispute if it can be avoided. If you generally get on well, I think your best option is just speaking to them. They probably think you aren’t bothered if you’ve lived with it for years and haven’t said anything. Just a friendly ‘we’re anxious about the baby and would really appreciate you smoking elsewhere as it comes into our bedroom’ could fix it.

That maybe so.but I doubt the police will do anything

I think its unfair to report it to the council before attempting to speak to your neighbour directly and giving them the opportunity to resolve it. They may resent you for not speaking to them first. I know you said you are anxious about it but if it's really bothering you then it's the only option to move forward to resolving it. You will be more anxious having to face them after reporting them. They might be absolutely fine about it and apologetic you never know. It's horrible smelling it in your own garden, I would say something to my neighbour. Will you partner talk to them?

There’s nobody to report it to! Anyway why would you do that rather than just asking him to smoke at end of garden rather than close to the house. It’s no drama, I wouldn’t mind if my neighbour asked me the same, I doubt he realises it’s such a problem for you.

If you’re too anxious to speak to your neighbour couldn’t your husband do it? If you like your neighbour and otherwise get on well and haven’t even broached the subject yet calling the police would be like using a hammer to crack a walnut.

They could well have a prescription. People need to be more educated on it. I think I know 5/6 different people with it on prescription all for different medical things. It’s much more common than you think.
they are doing it in their own property there isn’t much you can do about it really. Unless they are stood smoking it in the middle of your washing line I doubt your washing smells of it to be honest. Best you can do is speak to them or if you can’t then just ask your husband to. I think most people would be very apologetic and try and come to a solution as to not have animosity with neighbours.

Precisely you cannot control what goes on in the house next door!

No that's Reddit not Mumsnet!

Do they drive?

Dob them in for driving under the influence if they do

I’ve had this problem and I feel for you. In my case, the building management company passed it on to the landlord, and the police also had a word with him. There was a huge improvement and I only noticed the occasional bit after that.

Honestly your washing won't smell of it at all; I live in a block of flats and share washing lines the neighbour who's window backs onto the washing line area smokes it regularly and even blows the smoke out the window towards the washing line. My washing never smells of it.

Because they're obviously not just smoking after they've parked their car for night! FFS!

This! Also consider reporting them to Social services if they have children or to the police if at any point you consider that they might be dealing.

I hate cannabis soooo much.
I don't mind people having cannabis edibles but smoking it is the most horrifically anti social thing I can think of. I don't want to be forced to breathe that crap in.

I know people who smoke CBD weed which is 100% illegal and smells exactly the same. Might be that they are doing that. I would not ask them to stop which is unreasonable but I would ask if they could smoke in a different area so it doesn’t travel. I see posts like this a lot and even living in a shared house I’ve not been bothered so I may not be the best person to ask.

What do you think is going to happen with your anxiety once you report them and relations deteriorate? Think logically: better to face up to a slightly awkward conversation than end up in a neighbour dispute.

Nothing is going to happen. You really need to know that before you get too wrapped up in the idea of telling someone.

i think you also have to have a good look at yourself being too anxious to talk to them but wanting to phone up someone else to do it for you.
We all have to have painful conversations sometimes. It’s your child you’re worried about, yet you need someone else to have a word?

If they’re stoned they’ll be so chilled, so just lean out & say “Hey guys, I really don’t mean to sound like a d**k but my baby’s getting stoned up here, would it be ok to move where it doesn’t blow in? If it was just me I wouldn’t care but…” 100% they’ll be reasonable x

Our neighbour is the same, we don't know if it's weed, or roll your own strong tobacco, but it's not the regular cigarette smell. It hangs in the air, and makes me feel sick. He'll smoke it on days where jt isn't windy, and it lingers. I have washing hanging out at these times, allergies, and young dcs. He funnily enough doesn't do it when his young grandchild is out in the garden! Apparently it is fine for us to endure it though. People are ignorant unfortunately, and not much you can really do. It is a difficult thing to prove, and the police are more interested in suppliers/bigger operations than just some recreational use.
Maybe you could put a polite note through the letter box op? How well do you know the neighbours, do you think it would go down okay?

As everyone says, the police aren't going to be interested. People possessing small amounts of weed and quietly smoking it at home really isn't worth prosecuting.

Do you have air purifiers? They make a huge difference.

Another solution would be to send one to your neighbour and ask if they'd use it when they're smoking. They're not particularly expensive. You could find one on Amazon for £30.

I suspect that it is the smell not the smoke entering your room so but I am no expert. However you should not have to put up with it. If you are on good terms with them and don't want to confront them verbally I would put a not through there door and explain your concerns about your baby sleeping in the room next to where the smoke is coming from.

As a compromise you could ask him to smoke elsewhere? Ie another room in his house that doesn’t come your way. You might find that he is cooperative.

Exactly this. I hate the smell of weed, but I'd rather potheads next door, than raging alcoholics. I'd just say "Ahh I know you guys like a smoke, any chance you could try and contain it a bit? I'm each to their own, but just giving you heads up, the smell is dead strong and thinking other nosey neighbours might take exception and report it"

Oops posted to soon...
To add, there is a guy in our village who grows his own (for personal use) - the smell was very intense when he was harvesting (or whatever they do). I said similar to the above, and he was actually grateful I'd told him - thinking habitual weed smokers become immune to the smell, over time...

I feel your pain. We lived next door to an older guy who lived with his elderly mum (yet no-one saw her, which was a bit Norman Bates) but anyhow, he would smoke it all around the clock he had a little dog and the poor bugger reeked of it.
Then the shouting would start at 2am.
My hubby had a chat with him and he calmed it down.
He said his was on prescription and it helped him with his mental health. Said he'd fathered 8 kids, thought he was a stud, but they lived with their mum, and if the police ever came to his house he would 'act mad' it took a few of them to restrain him apparently and then they would leave him alone to smoke it, as he didn't deal it, so he was doing nothing wrong, and police wanted an easy life etc (not sure how true this is).
This guy was a bit unhinged to be honest.

We had our little boy and the smell made me baulk everywhere, and despite him knowing we had a little one, the 2am shouting started again. Hubby spoke to him, he said all the same crap as before. Then when the 2am shouting began a third time (turns out he was arguing with the TV) I started banging against the living room wall and swore. Saw him the next day and I had words (not as politely as my hubby) and to be fair he stopped the 2am racket, and was polite again.

We moved a year later, as he was a ticking time bomb.
We were renters at the time, not sure if his mum owned the house or was renting, but sometimes having a chat will help things along. It never entered my head to speak to the police to be honest.

A few years later I found out the police collared him, as he was dealing to all the local kids 🤦‍♀️

It probably won’t harm your baby but I understand how annoying it is. I’ve been in the same situation and the smell can really make you feel sick however there’s not much you can do about it. Council won’t touch it unless they’re council housing tenants and police won’t bother either unless they’re holding more than personal use.

Just one of those annoying things in life unfortunately. Stoners are usually personable but fairly inconsiderate 🤷🏻‍♀️

It depends on op's neighbours. Only she knows how they may likely react. Some people will just tell you to f* off.

Maybe a polite note would possibly go down better, if she doesn't know them well. I wouldn't personally mention others reporting them, as it may come across a little like a passive aggressive threat, and if you're the one with the issue than it is clearly is you that would be doing the reporting. I wouldn't plant that seed.