To think that women who fall for romance scammers are idiots?

[YourAmplePlumPoster]

Are women who fall for romance scammers idiots?

It is self-inflicted up to a point. One acquaintance, 60s, wealthy, started sending money to someone she’d never met. She is in good health, not demented. Despite family stepping in and even the police visiting her she refused to listen. Eventually her bank stopped the payments going through.

I didn't want to bring politics into this but watching that married American woman who was scammed by a catfish, I was thinking she sounds like a MAGA all the way through , with the way she wouldn't listen to facts put in front of her.
So jaw-droppingly stupid.

I still maintain that there is a level of conceit with the scammed. Never in a million years would I think I’d turn the head of a rich, successful man twenty years my junior. (Or even the same age 😭 )

Conceit and arrogance.

When my mum was the age I am now (50) she did online dating.

Without being specific, she was in a non professional role in a professional environment. A colleague 20 years her junior in a professional role was on the same dating site as her. He came across her profile and 'liked' it.

Now, in her shoes, I'd see it as a, "Haha, you're on here too!" and have a laugh about it with him. It wouldn't even occur to me it might be serious!

Whereas she spent weeks talking about how she was going to be dating this much younger 'professional man' and wondering what her colleagues would think and how she was going to be elevated in status in the office and how he was only a few years older than me, he daughter.

It was a giddy whirlwind affair that never went anywhere outside of her head.

But my brother said that the time that it was quite worrying. Her absolute conviction that a good looking, professional man 20 years her junior would be genuinely interested in her was quite disconcerting tbh.

She was absolutely motivated by securing male attention. If she and I went out and a man a similar age to me looked in our direction, she was absolutely convinced it was her he was looking at. I asked her once if it had ever even occurred to her that he might be looking at me. She looked puzzled and relied "You? Why would he be looking at you?"

She would absolutely have fallen for a romance scam had once chanced upon her because her arrogance would not have let her consider that it wasn't genuine.

My mil was similarly conceited, and dementia exacerbated it. She became convinced her GP fancied her. She kept booking in for “examinations”. After one she reported that Dr West had said, “You’re legs are very good, Maureen.” Mil was preening and I said, “Ooh, I think I’ll go and see Dr West myself!” to which mil snapped, “Oh no, he wouldn’t say that about your legs.” That was me - old stumpy - told.

Yes, mil on OLD would have fallen for any line (but I can be quite sure she would never have parted with a penny 😁 )

I don’t think politics has anything to do with it.

Being romance scammed is about vulnerability, delusion. loneliness and desperation.

I’m sure the victims vote all ways.

Lots of people thought Labour would be good in power, including me. 🤷‍♀️

We were all wrong, but most of us won’t be romance scammed by an online chancer.🙄

MaturingCheeseball

I know people say it could happen to anyone but I'm not even sure my fiance actually finds me attractive half the time! I certainly wouldn't believe it of someone half my age!

People talk about those with low self esteem being most vulnerable to it but I just can't circle that square tbh.

The level of arrogance and self belief involved is striking.

The series on Netflix about romance scammers is jaw dropping - the very plain, overweight 54 year old woman who genuinely thought the 21 year old local barman was in love with her, married him and surprise surprise, he persuaded her to sell her flat in Scotland and use the money to buy a home in Sri Lanka in his name. I mean come on.

The men who get scammed it usually seems to be thinking they’ll get to have sex with a very attractive much younger foreign woman. There was a bloke in his 70’s who was absolutely convinced a beautiful 20 something missionary was in love with him and wanted to lose her virginity to him. Silly old sod pretty much sent his life savings to ‘her’ and even when they found the instagram model whose photos the scammers were using and got her on a video chat, he refused to believe it wasn’t real. The presenter was basically yelling at him ‘you’re being scammed’ and he just kept saying ‘no im
not she loves me’

I know it doesn't, I meant the way in which she doubled down despite the hard facts placed in front of her. Did you actually watch that one, it was mind blowing in the similarities.

Anyway, I was talking specifically about American politics where people voted for a 34 time convicted felon but in the same breath, hated the way Kamala Harris laughed - that's not anywhere in the same league as people regretting voting for Labour 🤭.

I watched one of the Netflix episodes this afternoon about a Filippina women who had separated from her DH of 20 something years and was a single mother of three children. She met "David" online in what was a typical Nigerian romance scam with a BS story about being in prison in South Africa and needing bail money to get out. She lied to her friends and borrowed 5 grand which her friends will probably write off because they feel sorry for her. For heavens sake. Put your kids first and not some a hole you've never met on the Internet.

I also saw that episode about the woman in Sri Lanka who it appears actually endangered her own life and, fortunately, appears to have had good friends around her who helped her get out.

The worse scam is the Sextortion one. I can understand young vulnerable teens sending nude pics to a hot boy or girl on the Internet but not an adult doing this. Someone I saw on YouTube sent her pics to "Brad Pitt" who then sent them to all her Facebook friends and her teenage kids. The first thing the scammers say is: have you got any pics? I sent one of them a pic of the most obese woman in the UK. Didn't seem to put him off though 😕

Males are also regularly targeted for romance scams. I have known a couple of them myself. It is exactly the same.

If I am honest I don’t understand why these women and men fall for this. I do think they are somewhat deluded and can I dare to say a bit simple minded.

There is no way someone can love you via the internet. What I don’t understand is when the money requests come they fulfil them. There was a documentary series with Kim Marsh a few years ago where some women well into their 80’s were giving money to scammers.

Indeed when I had to transfer £££ to beneficiaries of a will I was given leaflets about romance scams and the bank employee stated that it’s surprisingly common and elderly people just won’t listen. The employee told me that although they will refuse the transfer the scammer will just talk them through the daily limits and it gets done that way.

I don’t know how those scammers sleep at night. What if it was their parent? Shame on them.

I saw one on tv where a woman honestly believed she was chatting to Gerard Butler on FB Messenger and ended up sending him nearly half a million quid.

Another woman remortgaged her house, lost it and now lives in a caravan sending money to a man online. She even said to her daughter and son who did everything they could to stop her ‘don’t make me choose between you and him because I’ll pick him every time’ - it’s beyond belief.

I am just hoping that anyone reading this "nasty" thread will see it and think twice about sending money to a stranger on the Internet or advise their loved ones not to do it.

What a truly awful story. It's brainwashing.

What a truly awful story. Brainwashing.

I saw one on tv where a woman honestly believed she was chatting to Gerard Butler on FB Messenger and ended up sending him nearly half a million quid.

I mean ... my first thought would be, "why does Gerard Butler, the actor, need my money?"

Keanu Reeves: Hello, dear. Can you send me a steam card for $200 to set up a zoom talk. Where do you live?
Me: I live on the Isle of Dogs. Right now, I can't get out to the shops to buy a steam card as there are wild dogs running around and we have to wait until the dog catcher comes along to capture them.
Keanu Reeves: Oh OK. Let me know when you can get to the shops.
Next day:
Keanu Reeves: Did you get to the shop to buy the steam card yet, dear?
Me: No, as the wild dogs haven't been captured yet. My only option is to swim across to the Isle of Wight where there are shops. Or go by helicopter. Can you send me a helicopter?
Keanu Reeves: Yes. Send me the steam card first and then we'll talk about helicopters.

That's literally a conversation I had with one of those scammers a couple of weeks ago. 😅🤣

A similar woman I used to be close to send thousands to a wildlife rescue somewhere in Africa. They had a little website/blog thing with heart-warming pictures but there was NO evidence the project existed. It might have been real, but it felt amateurish ... there was nothing about animal healthcare, no explanation of their processes for rehabilitation and rewilding, no information on where the animals came from. They gave no links to other charities or wildlife funds, no media coverage.

She said she'd love to go and visit, but never made any plans to after contacting them and getting a vague reply. She'd convinced her family it was all real, lovely, and a worthy destination for her money - they refused my offer to look into it. I poked around anyway, and am at least certain it was unwise to give them all that money when there are internationally registered animal charities seeking donations.

Non-existent overseas charities are another huge scamming industry, there have been some real humdingers taking millions from well-intentioned donors. One ran a whole network of faith-linked schools in South American villages for decades, until an intrepid woman decided on a whim to pay a visit. They had one 'school' to show arranged visitors. All the others were fictional, even some of the locations were.

It's yet another way to suck money out of people by getting them to use their bank cards as emotional expression. Remember that Jay kid who went missing on holiday? People were throwing money at the crowdfunder, even though cash wouldn't get him found any quicker and even after his body was recovered. It's how they felt they could show they cared.

As well as the Catfished stuff, I've been watching some youtube documentaries about middle-aged women who go to the Gambia/Tunisia/Senegal/Turkey and there's the handsome younger man to woo them, they get married, then they're devastated when it all goes tits up down the line - I honestly don't understand what they thought would happen? Did they really believe this guy, much younger than them and from a completely different culture, was going to be their faithful and devoted husband forever?

I dunno, @ArtTheClown. Two of my friends are actually married to the Moroccan men they met on the desert tourist trip. One lives in England, the other in Australia, both been married for over 20 years. The age differences aren't as big as the ones we see on telly; my friends must have been in their thirties when they met.

I admit I see those films and think "What on earth?" But then, I'm not a gambler. I don't buy lottery or Omaze tickets, but plenty of people obviously do think they could be the one in a million ... and a few are.

The two women in the beginning of OP's link were not being unreasonable, imo. They were attractive, they met their scammers in real life through work, the age differences weren't huge. Some of the others, though ... they're dreamers, buying romantic lottery tickets and thinking they'll win!

I wrote the headline of this thread in anger but we should congratulate the women who have come forward to tell other women not to do this. So I apologise if it seems I was demeaning them. When I first started Instagram a few years ago, I almost believed that my favourite singer or actor was contacting me on a "private fan page" then realised there was something off about the whole thing and I would certainly never have sent any money. On one fan page, the management made a statement that it was all fake and never to send any money. Quite a few of them are doing this now.

Two of my friends are actually married to the Moroccan men they met on the desert tourist trip. One lives in England, the other in Australia, both been married for over 20 years

That's good that it worked out for your friends.I do actually have a friend who met a guy on a holiday in the West Indies and that's going strong after twenty years too. She's about a decade older than him but you wouldn't guess seeing them - she's always been gorgeous.

My favourite stories to read in Take A Break are the ones of the massively obese and middle-aged women who meet their "holiday romance" and end up being scammed out of thousands.

I know that makes me sound evil. I can't help it. It's the schadenfreude.