To think that women who fall for romance scammers are idiots?

[YourAmplePlumPoster]

Are women who fall for romance scammers idiots?

Yes.

Also men who fall for golddiggers.

People with a low IQ?

The whataboutism on this thread is astounding - like wtf has being duped by an online romance scammer have to do with being left high and dry by a scumbag who left you after years of marriage and children? Or a so-called gold-digger playing a long game with a rich partner they are intimately involved with?
These are not the same things at all and I'm genuinely concerned for those who cannot see the difference.
No judgement, just bewilderment.

Nope, YANBU. I really do try and be sympathetic, but I just can’t fathom the stupidity. I understand it’s sad and nobody should ever be taken advantage of… but I just can’t fathom being that blindly trusting as a grown adult.

Exactly.

@feelingbleh yep that’s how I feel

You’re not waring people ! You’re judging people ..and asking others if they agree with you !! 🙄

@Molly2135 in all fairness Around 60% of posts on AIBU are based on that premise and not far off on relationships too -

This 100%. You don't know the life experiences of these women to lead them to be vulnerable to these situations. You might need to work on your empathy, op.

Maybe, but they are also lonely and really believe they have found love, however unlikely the story.

So for the posters saying that these women are vulnerable, and nobody knows their experiences etc etc etc. Given they’re experienced enough to be using online dating sites, social media, media through which to send videos and photos and voice messages,

They know how to use online banking to make transfers to these scammers, are we to believe that they never read the media? Have never heard of these types of scammers who target people in this way right down to the scripts they use?

it’s one thing to fall for an actual person who spins a line and ends up marrying you for a visa. These are real people and they have real physical relationships. And although the answer is usually obvious, it’s a lot harder to convince someone that the person who they have an active relationship with isn’t what they say they are.

But someone who claims to be working off shore and who is being detained in x country and whose brother is seriously ill in darkest Africa and they need the money to get them out, and on and on and on with the disasters? Come on. anyone who falls for that is either monumentally stupid, or lacks enough capacity that they probably shouldn’t have unsupervised internet access.

So for the posters saying that these women are vulnerable, and nobody knows their experiences etc etc etc. Given they’re experienced enough to be using online dating sites, social media, media through which to send videos and photos and voice messages,

you have no idea what "vulnerable" means do you.

Do you think it's the same as being computer illiterate?

I totally agree. What’s mine is mine (and very hard fought for believe me) and I’d have to be at least sedated to part with any of it.

Well, interesting reading through all the posts and different viewpoints. Most of the catfish videos deal with monumentally deluded women (and men) but mainly women who really want to believe that this Internet profile of a hot young guy or girl or celebrity is real and they want the Catfish team to prove it. The IP address is nearly always in Nigeria or Ghana. Call me smug or whatever but none of them who've approached me on Instagram are getting a single penny out of me. I like stringing them along for a big to waste their time, then put the boot in.

This was one of the "victims." A rather nasty woman cheating on her DH and sending money to a catfish profile. Deserves everything she gets but not the husband.

No. The scammers are just really skillful. When I'd been seeing my current partner for a while and we'd been getting on really well, we talked about scammers and both realised I had no concrete way of knowing he was genuine. Luckily, he was -and is (I think!) and we're still together 14 years later. But i don't think those women are idiots - they are mainly just unlucky to be targeted.

Maybe stupid is a bit strong but I have to be honest I do wonder at some people who fall for these things. We’ve all been vulnerable and lonely but we don’t all get sucked in by romance scammers and the overwhelming majority of them are far from sophisticated. I think it’s more than just being in a certain point in your life. I think some people really are a bit gullible and would fall for it even if they weren’t at a certain point in their lives.

You know they are obvious and I do too but the scam baiting community who spend their spare time wasting scammers time will tell you not to put the boot in and let the know that you knew they were scammers because it runs the risk of educating them and helping them improve their technique. Just leave them hanging not knowing why you stopped replying. All the time they continue sending out naff scripts there’s more chance a real victim will realise something isn’t right.

The world is full of idiots...except for me. Isn't that a quite common misconception?

Some opine, the more intelligent you are, the more prone to scammers you may be. Largely because of the arrogance that sometimes comes along with that intelligence. As in, I am very clever indeed so I must be right to even consider believing whatever pile of shit someone is telling me.

People love nothing more than being told they are right. Powerful lure.

OH MY FUCKING GOD 😱 I'm up to the accent part and I'm crashing out at this point.
The stubbornness of this woman is truly shocking. Friends, family and literal experts have chided in to help her and she's refusing to listen.
I think if posters defending them actually watched this, then the sympathy might be less willing.

I have to agree. It's mind-boggling.

I think the same: I can’t imagine I would give anyone money unless I lost my mind. Maybe this is what is happening though?

Don’t know about stupid but deluded for sure! My aunt lost her home due to one of these, even after that and everyone else, including the police who were very helpful but couldn’t actually do anything leagally, telling her it was all a load of rubbish and a scan, she continued to hand out thousands and thousands of money she didn’t have! She died recently and sorting her paperwork out, she was in debt to everyone despite having a high level of benefits / disability payments / other incomes compared to what her outgoings should have been. Sometimes you just can’t get someone who wants to continue being deluded to see sense!

The golden rule with any romance that starts online is that finances never need to be part if it.

I met my husband 25 years ago on a forum, by chance, and until we got together in a full living together relationship, we never discussed money. No need to. We were happily married until he died a couple of years ago.😊

Some time afterwards, by chance again, a widower and I began to chat on another forum (this one, actually!), and, over time, our friendship has grown into a happy, fulfilling, real life relationship .👍

We were both pretty vulnerable at the time we met, as we had both lost our 24/7 partners, and spousal bereavement is just so awful.😟

But, we both had the sense not to get exploited by scammers.

I couldn’t tell you what his worth is, and he couldn’t tell you what mine is - simply because it’s not discussed. 🤷‍♀️

Relationships that start online can be successful and joyful - but should never involve sending money to anyone.

Anyone that asks for money is likely to be a scammer. 🤷‍♀️

I agree. Anyone who asks for money is a scammer and alarm bells should be loud.