Why can't we discuss how fat we've all become?

[Nodinnernogift]

Obesity is becoming the norm. Why aren't we allowed express concern or any views that are less than celebratory about this?

I mean seriously why?

If whole parts of your country were in the grip of a meth addiction we would be allowed have a discussion about it.

National campaigns to stop people smoking are applauded.

Look around you. Look in the mirror. We are all getting bigger and bigger. It reminds me of when people would visit the US in the 80s / 90s and come back with tales of huge people and massive portion sizes.

Does nobody care? It's like the Emperors New Clothes. I don't get why it's a sacrosanct topic.

Yabu - it's nobody's business
Yanbu - it's fine to address this as a societal problem

That's depressing.

Don’t you know all overweight people and anyone on WLI’s are thick as fuck and don’t understand nutrition and have never practiced willpower 🤦🤦🤦. Me included 😊, apparently @OnceUponAThread

@TheOriginalEmu@GildedRagethank you for both coming back so sensibly, because that response to my post made me so absolutely blindly furious for a moment that I was liable to descend into sarcastic annoyance 🙏🏻

My point is that we DO talk about how fat people are and shame and humiliate and put down fat people all the time. I’m baffled at the idea that this ISNT something that is talked about because it is.

Where? I live in SW3 and I don’t think there are that many larger people in Chelsea.

A relative visited us recently and when I pointed out the big hill we were driving up was what I walked up and down twice a day they said they’d rather stay fat than ever walk up there.

I’ve put on a few kilos (3.5kg) this year and know exactly why-less hill, more food. It’s time to rein myself back in. My BMI is 22 but I have fat around my middle and chunky thighs and arms.

I’ve never understood how people put on weight, feel uncomfortable, bemoan their weight, but don’t do anything about it and carry on getting fatter. It’s not easy to lose weight sometimes but it’s usually possible. The podiatrist today praised my mum for following her advice because most people don’t want to help themselves and I think that’s reflected across society with people not wanting to do anything that is any effort.

I have ADHD and many users of WLI have said on mumsnet that it really helps with their symptoms. A health worker above said they should be available almost no questions asked which I disagree with but I’d love a month or two of WLI for less ADHD symptoms and a BMI of 19.

Surely it’s becoming a bigger problem across society because of the ridiculous work demands on everybody that make it harder to live a healthy lifestyle. If both parents are working all hours under the sun, who is at home to cook from scratch, or teach their children how to cook nutritious meals? Who has time or energy to properly exercise anymore? Add to that the cost of living and prices of fresh food (that’s usually crap quality anyway, only lasts a couple of days before going bad, by which point if I’ve had a busy week I may not have even had a chance to use up so that’s wasted money) and it’s pretty obvious why so many people are overweight, despite knowing that they should eat more healthily.

Well then maybe you can explain why you are overweight then and answer the question you posed in your post

@Gettingfattertimetostop I don’t and haven’t “bemoaned” putting on weight. I just carried on with my life. There are a multitude of reasons why I didn’t prioritise losing weight but I don’t really think it’s worth me talking about them with you as you have already prejudged me as lazy.

Oh right fair enough. I did acknowledge halfway through the thread that I hadn't phrased the title or op well. I really want to know why we can't talk about it in a constructive way.

Sadly IMO the thread revealed the answer with the replies; some people are judgemental and nasty, many believe that they know the solution when they obviously don't, many overweight people feel personally targeted and shamed.

I was thinking before how most of us had a chip pan or deep fat fryer. But very few were overweight. We walked a lot more it was rare we got the bus anywhere. Mainly because my mum couldn’t afford to pay for us all. We have town centres dieing off. People just can’t be bothered walking around town. But retail parks are thriving.

Thing is everyone knows eat less move more but it's as simple as that is it or there wouldn't be so many overweight people

And yet people who take GLP-1 drugs manage to do exactly that. They eat less, lose weight and when you weigh less you naturally move more because it is far easier to do.

I gained weight while having cancer treatment and I'm halfway through losing it. It's really really hard now I'm in menopause and on a lot of medication.

I don't think that's particularly helpful to everyone else.

what is needed: lets brainstorm and come up with a few ideas. starters better transport; moving outdoor sidewalks to encourage being outdoor, how about proper drop downs at the curb and doorway thresholds that are level to the pavement. restaurants could offer meals in suitable portion sizes, especially lasagna and alfredo pasta dishes. corner shops that actually sell real food that are not marked up an arm and a leg. going back and teaching home economics (budgeting and meal planning).
security in large parks so you can safely go out after dusk? honestly as a society there are millions of little ideas that could make eating less moving more easier.

but the adipose tissue issue still remains it is occasionally considered an organ which wants to survive and subsequently releases hormones that trigger eating and changes the metabolism. and for those in the obese category the metabolic aspect needs to be recognized.

@Nodinnernogift well really your weight is due to medication, treatment and age. although difficult to shift this is not chronic obesity. it is temporary and although as you as metabolisms change. the likelihood of you being successful is high.

I don’t think a lot of people know how to cook and rely on ready prepared food or takeaways. I was lucky enough to be taught how to cook at school. We created meals from scratch such as pastry making, casseroles and stews and also simple stuff like sausage mash and peas. This was all pre O level age (now known as GCSEs)I also watched and later helped my mum. We also learnt about nutrition.

I think they should bring back night schools where adults could for a low cost to top up their learning of practical things they missed at school

People do do something about it. But it doesn’t work. It doesn’t for me. Your view is simplistic

@Happyher 100% agree with the need to bring back home ec. learning to balance meals and cost them out is really the cornerstone of a healthy family.

I am overweight on the BMI scale and since perimenopause I've put on 3 stone, I was in great shape until mid 40s. Nothing I do now makes a difference and so whilst I am not unwilling to call myself fat, I don't know what to do about it. I have started dressing for my new body shape (which is very restrictive) so as to maintain some feeling of still being attractive and some sense of control. Have I accepted the unacceptable by buying new clothes? Dropped my standards? Or am I being realistic about this part of the ageing process? I don't know! I don't like my body like this but I get shushed by others if I refer to it because they arent comfortable talking about weight, its taboo. Weirdly, I'm very matter of fact about it and I don't feel any shame. Maybe I should but I just can't muster it.

You say we should be talking about it but for me I'd say there is an overwhelming amount of 'wellness' conversation. So much noise, a whirlpool of information (or is it misinformation) and empty promises. I'm about to try a new supplement at £54 per month which promises to help regulate hormones and promote weight loss. I have little hope but I'm trying it anyway...

That's because fat has become so normalised we don't see it as such anymore. I am fat myself and trying to get slim again. When I put on weight when I was younger I really felt it, but I don't so much now because so many people are even fatter than me.

I’ve been a curvy (big boobs and hips) size 8-10 all my adult life, but as a young, skinny 12-13 year old who was called ‘skateboard’ by one school bully in reference to my flat chest, I struggled with an ED. As a result, I’ll never have an entirely normal/healthy relationship with food, weight and exercise. I’m now in my 40s and have familial hypercholesterolaemia, (cheers Dad for the mutated gene), so have to watch my diet and take medication to ensure my arteries don’t clog and my heart stays healthy.

I know because of my past I can be particularly sensitive to comments about my body or my fitness (even positive ones) but also despise doing anything like typical exercise / workouts, so my poor DH often has to walk a bit of a tightrope between motivating/encouraging me to do something to help keep myself active and physically fit, whilst avoiding knocking my confidence and inadvertently triggering all those negative teenage feelings….of being disgusted with my body, feeling completely isolated and like I’ll never be enough and having no control over my own life.

In the 90s/early 00s, being an unhealthy and dangerous weight at the bottom end of the scale was normalised and glorified (think heroin chic, stick thin supermodels etc). More recently the pendulum seems to have swung the other way and there is more normalisation of being overweight, notably via some social media platforms/influencers.

Obesity is absolutely a societal issue. The risk of larger numbers of people being impacted due to the increasingly sedentary lifestyle many people lead, exacerbated by the cost of living crisis that’s making healthy food options less affordable and many families being ‘time poor’ and struggling to dedicate time for cooking from scratch and/or exercise/physical activity - this can’t be ignored, along with the wider implications on the NHS etc.

As someone who has weight/body confidence issues myself, I’m all for people being happy in their own skin, but that shouldn’t come at the expense of your health, regardless of whether you’re under or over weight.

I think we do need to be honest with ourselves as a society as to the extent of the issue and start making some fundamental changes to tackle it.

So nothing to do with eating more than you need?

It's how weight is discussed;
it's the constant push for pre-packaged foods;
restaurant meals/take away as the norm;
the absolute shit foods served to kids at school;
the high cost of a lot of fresh produce;
"kids' foods;
and that's just off the top of my head.
I'm not including kids/adults with sensory issues, I mean neuro-typical and non-medical reasons only.

Because everybody is a victim and no one is responsible for anything they do. You see some unbelievable sights. I have watched two young women come out of Sainsbury’s with a tray of 12 donuts, stop dead in the doorway (annoying those behind them), rip open the box and each scoff one as they walked back to the car. They literally couldn’t wait until they got to the car, let alone until they got home. Both those young women were fat. It isn’t healthy, and it isn’t attractive. I accept that genes play a part, and that some people struggle, or have mental health problems, etc, but what I cannot bear is people who eat garbage, get fat, and then think it’s something to be proud of. It’s their choice, but I’ll say it again: it’s not healthy, and it’s not attractive.

You might say “well what business is it of yours?” It IS my business, because such people put a huge strain on the NHS.

Build exercise into your every day life, eat simple food