Disgusted by school’s response to complaint about pervy teacher - Final Update

[SophEll]

Well, well, well. I’ve had a very lengthy and interesting phone call from the Headteacher (HT) handling my complaint.

I now consider the matter resolved, I’m sure you are wondering what was said and I’ve done my best to summarise below:

-My initial complaint WAS wrongly dismissed without investigation - as the comments made related to a school interaction.

-The HT has offered me an unreserved apology on behalf of the school for the handling of my initial complaint which I have gratefully accepted, as long as it’s also offered in writing (which I’m assured it will be).

-I’m told the Chair was most unimpressed to learn of my experience when complaining and an urgent review of their complaints procedure has been ordered. The HT tells me that they’ll ensure appropriate oversight is put in place moving forward and was extremely grateful for me bringing this to their attention.

-As previously noted, they cannot share the outcome of the investigation into my concerns about the interaction I had, which is perfectly understandable. Yes, I know he’ll get a slap on the wrist at best and should be suitably embarrassed, but that should be sufficient to prevent someone else going through what I did.

The term ‘tail between legs’ comes to mind for certain posters on here - I await your apologies with bated breath!

Thanks for those who’ve offered constructive suggestions on how to proceed, this outcome is a victory for anyone who has ever had a complaint wrongly dismissed.

I’ve also thanked my DH, whilst initially sceptical his support in emailing the Chair made all the difference. I have the utmost respect for how the Chair and HT handled this so promptly.

I feel as though I can now put the whole sorry saga behind me and move forward (I’ll probably give that bar a miss in the future mind you!)

I’ve told DH to put the champagne on ice!

It did occur to me reading the previous two threads that maybe the OP reacted the way she did because she was really pissed off that the teacher made his remark and walked off without pursuing her further, leaving her feeling slighted.

However, reading this third thread in the saga, I really do have doubts now that it ever happened - and no-one can be so deluded to think that the Headteacher meant what he supposedly said, or that the Complaints Policy is going to be reviewed as a result of what the teacher said - all policies get reviewed very regularly. Headteachers are very skilled in dealing with vexacious and serial complainers and will say and do what is needed to shut them up and make them go away.

You do realise they've just apologised to get you to shut up and leave them alone?

Likely laughing at you.

It's ironic that HAD you have fancied him, the complaint wouldn't have happened at all, anyway. But you wanted to bring him down anyway over his work.

I'm laughing today because I think it's a load of shite for shits and giggles. But yesterday's was very dark, comparing teacher with a rapist and that he was thinking about schoolgirls etc. Very dark, and at least two of us who had gone through ACTUAL serious assaults were getting quite emotional about it. The comparing a very sleazy dickish remark in a pub to being dragged down an entry. I'm sure there's folk read from the beginning, I started yesterday.

Day three it's become quite obvious it's twollox so after yesterday it's being light hearted and taking the piss about it. Mind you I think the OP was loving all the back and forwards from those of us who found it too much. So yeh there is that

Well, you've got what he said wrong but you've also missed the point that a lot of men in nightclubs late at night aren't looking for a date they are looking for a casual hook up, ie a one-night-stand. Some women are into that but obviously a lot aren't so it's easier to state your intentions up front. If you get a f-off you can quickly move on, if you get sexy banter back you've found a like-minded soul.

Danger is when you are very drunk you may approach someone you probably shouldn't have tried to hook up with, as happened here.

This is the most astonishing thread. The vitriol and hatred aimed at the OP. She’s wound you all up something rotten. Why? Because you find her annoying? You think she’s a troll? You think she was wrong to make a complaint?
Either the anger-mongers are men’s rights activists or you’re regular Mumsnet who have just allowed yourselves to become incensed to the point of fury. Generally I find mumsnet supportive of women, especially if they’ve been subject to shitty male behaviour. But for some reason loads of pp are calling the OP a lunatic because she’s what? Made a complaint about someone. Some pp have even accused her of making him lose his job. But surely if he does get disciplined in any way that’s, you know, his fault. How can it possibly be her fault for speaking out? Have you all gone barking mad?

And you do realise she’s massively taking the piss of those in a rage.

It's a fact

As any of us who have experience of dealing with "persistent complainers' have explained

My toes are curling at your first post and subsequent answers. 80% of people think yabu - you changed the criteria and people select after the OP.
Get over yourself

.

I think you need to Google the term ‘unreserved apology’..

I’ve read all of your replies and I conclude that your intentions were not from genuine violation or insult (far from it as you actually admit to being flattered) but rather a vindictive ploy to ensure this man is put in his place and shamed; whether that’s given a warning or dismissed from his job which is what I think you were hoping. You seem triumphant and almost gleeful to have gone in ‘all guns blazing’ which is not a good look OP.

Wow a picture of you tantrumming - is this what you were like when hardly anyone agreed with you?

It was only ever about justice. Justice for those who have had their complaint wrongly dismissed. And you know what, I won.

But you aren't being very gracious about your "win" are you?

OP is:

Making a mockery of sexual assault by just wanting an apology for how it was dealt with and not the actual incident

Making offensive and ridiculous jokes about what happened

Exaggerating a pervy comment into a a while sexual assault and incident

Stalking the teacher and the CoG on social media

And BTW calling people who disagree with you MRAs is just insulting

And no one is "incensed to the point of fury"

Ok being just and humble can go hand in hand.

I think you need to Google "shit to say to shut customers up who are being pissy"

You haven't won

You've been fobbed off

You've also decided to conflate this issue with quite a serious one which is appalling

It's not normal to gloat this much about being proved right. Are you feeling okay?

Give yourself a pat on the back, OP. I can just imagine you as a small child. I WIIIIIN! NER NER NER NER NER!!! 🤣🤣 absolutely pathetic that you’re so emotionally immature.

You’re giving Donald Trump vibes. Throwing toys out of the pram when you think you’ve been slighted, going on a vendetta for JUSTICE!!, thinking you’ve won when you receive a pacifying email that means precisely zilch, and then declaring you’ve won, no matter how obvious it is that you haven’t, you’re covering your ears. Cringing for you.

And to top it off, you’re now suddenly flattered that some pissed up perv tried chatting you up as if every single breathing woman has never had a similar experience.

What is it that you think you’ve won op? He hasn’t been sacked, nothing will happen. They have told you what you want to hear to make you go away.

The fact that you’ve cracked open a bottle in celebration of this non victory is tragic. Do you really have nothing better to worry about or celebrate in life?

And if by some miracle the powers than be did decide to pursue it all they’d need to do is look at this thread and they’d see how obvious it is that this is just one big game, not a genuine concern. You’re not that bothered about the incident itself, it’s just about feeling important and getting one over on the man.

The laugh reacts don't make you look saner

I'm assuming everyone's getting them?

Right ladies, that’s enough entertainment. You’ve been great fun, but there’s a lent of pent up anger amongst you. Whatever has caused that, I genuinely wish you well.

I’m off to bed via our home office - DH has talked me into that roleplay 😉

From outraged to revelling in innuendo, several updates too far

Troll or not, you need your head checked either way 🤣