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Original poster

Disgusted by school’s response to complaint about pervy teacher - Final Update

688 replies

SophEll · 02/05/2025 13:08

Well, well, well. I’ve had a very lengthy and interesting phone call from the Headteacher (HT) handling my complaint.

I now consider the matter resolved, I’m sure you are wondering what was said and I’ve done my best to summarise below:

-My initial complaint WAS wrongly dismissed without investigation - as the comments made related to a school interaction.

-The HT has offered me an unreserved apology on behalf of the school for the handling of my initial complaint which I have gratefully accepted, as long as it’s also offered in writing (which I’m assured it will be).

-I’m told the Chair was most unimpressed to learn of my experience when complaining and an urgent review of their complaints procedure has been ordered. The HT tells me that they’ll ensure appropriate oversight is put in place moving forward and was extremely grateful for me bringing this to their attention.

-As previously noted, they cannot share the outcome of the investigation into my concerns about the interaction I had, which is perfectly understandable. Yes, I know he’ll get a slap on the wrist at best and should be suitably embarrassed, but that should be sufficient to prevent someone else going through what I did.

The term ‘tail between legs’ comes to mind for certain posters on here - I await your apologies with bated breath!

Thanks for those who’ve offered constructive suggestions on how to proceed, this outcome is a victory for anyone who has ever had a complaint wrongly dismissed.

I’ve also thanked my DH, whilst initially sceptical his support in emailing the Chair made all the difference. I have the utmost respect for how the Chair and HT handled this so promptly.

I feel as though I can now put the whole sorry saga behind me and move forward (I’ll probably give that bar a miss in the future mind you!)

I’ve told DH to put the champagne on ice!

OP posts:
Didimum · 02/05/2025 20:21

Great news, OP. It’s not ok to have teachers going around saying grim things like that to women. If you don’t want to strictly police your mouth then don’t become a public servant.

The posters desperately trying to rouse further insults and still insist you are wrong is all rather cringe. Have a great bank holiday weekend.

turningpoints · 02/05/2025 20:21

I bet there's more than a few female teachers in that school who know exactly what he's like OP, and will be celebrating with you.

Purplesphere11 · 02/05/2025 20:23

OP you've behaved badly and you know it but damn I hate a pile on. Only fans comments et al. There but for the grace of God. Just spiteful. Please stop ladies. There's no fucking need.

ScarlettOYara · 02/05/2025 20:24

turningpoints · 02/05/2025 20:21

I bet there's more than a few female teachers in that school who know exactly what he's like OP, and will be celebrating with you.

How do you know?
He'd already have been sacked if he did anything like this in a school. He's obviously perfectly fine in his job if he's still working there.

Whoknows101 · 02/05/2025 20:26

I'm sure somebody has already asked but just in case - what possible reason have you got for needing the apology in writing??!!

Your posts on this "part 3" seem so well designed to come across as unbearably cringeworthy and intolerably smug I'm now pretty sure this whole thing has been a wind up from the start....

HuffleMyPuffle · 02/05/2025 20:27

EmmaJane2025 · 02/05/2025 20:15

What on earth would anyone apologise for?! You’ve massively overreacted and threw a tantrum in the form of attempting to ruin a teacher’s career and livelihood. The only person with a tail between their legs is you, love!

They've apologised that she FEELS she wasn't heard

Aka "we aren't admitting anything or apologising for what happened but we are sorry you feel that way"

No right minded HT of CofG would apologise for what they actually did because it's admission of guilt

isitme111 · 02/05/2025 20:29

Troll or not OP you are seriously tragic either way. I would advise you to consider investing in some therapy.

HuffleMyPuffle · 02/05/2025 20:30

Didimum · 02/05/2025 20:21

Great news, OP. It’s not ok to have teachers going around saying grim things like that to women. If you don’t want to strictly police your mouth then don’t become a public servant.

The posters desperately trying to rouse further insults and still insist you are wrong is all rather cringe. Have a great bank holiday weekend.

Edited

OP hasn't been vindicated in any way and the man probably doesn't exist anyway

HuffleMyPuffle · 02/05/2025 20:31

turningpoints · 02/05/2025 20:21

I bet there's more than a few female teachers in that school who know exactly what he's like OP, and will be celebrating with you.

If he was saying this in school then there would be an issue

But you're making shit up again 🤣

turningpoints · 02/05/2025 20:33

There was a teacher in a school my kids went to who used to visibly look me up and down with a sort of smirk whenever I was talking to him about my daughter. His behaviour was always 'just under the radar' enough to make you doubt what he was doing.

It was only on a night out with other mums that we discovered everyone felt the same. He was also a creep towards certain female teachers, I saw it with my own eyes on numerous occasions. They just put up with it. He was also married with a baby.

Anyway, nobody complained because 'what can you do?' etc etc 'nothing happened' etc etc.

Until it did. He groped a woman in a bar who turned out to be 19. She brought charges. He disappeared from the school and I heard his wife left him.

So good for you OP, because the behaviour you were subject to in that bar did not come from nowhere. It will not have been an isolated incident.

All the 100s of women sympathising with the 'poor man' on here - more fool you.

iseethembloom · 02/05/2025 20:36

Goodness I hope these threads are never pulled.

some of the comments have been so funny…. Holding a cucumber in the supermarket (I’d like to take you up the arse with it)… using the science teacher’s face as a chair when asked to sit down, the casting of the characters in a film, etc. etc.

@op‘s posts have also been comic… champagne on ice, ‘what she has bravely endured’. Her manipulation of the poll to become ‘heads I win; tails you lose’.

its been great value, @op Thank you.

Hufflemuff · 02/05/2025 20:37

Time to get a job OP... You're probably thick as two short planks though and that's why your husband needed to write that email for you.

Redrosesposies · 02/05/2025 20:38

Still think you were and are totally out of order. Your children are no longer at school so you are old enough to know better and be able to deal with some drunken banter when out on the lash.
It speaks volumes that you had to rope your 'man' in to fight on your behalf and only then did it reach some sort of resolution.

turningpoints · 02/05/2025 20:39

Also, for all the people weirdly outraged that OP complained ...

If your husband was a teacher, who went out to a bar, approached a woman who he knew full well was a mum of a child he used to teach in a school he still worked at in order to tell her (totally unsolicited) that he used to fantasise about bending her over his desk to fuck her.....

Would you still be laughing?

andweallloveclover · 02/05/2025 20:39

turningpoints · 02/05/2025 20:33

There was a teacher in a school my kids went to who used to visibly look me up and down with a sort of smirk whenever I was talking to him about my daughter. His behaviour was always 'just under the radar' enough to make you doubt what he was doing.

It was only on a night out with other mums that we discovered everyone felt the same. He was also a creep towards certain female teachers, I saw it with my own eyes on numerous occasions. They just put up with it. He was also married with a baby.

Anyway, nobody complained because 'what can you do?' etc etc 'nothing happened' etc etc.

Until it did. He groped a woman in a bar who turned out to be 19. She brought charges. He disappeared from the school and I heard his wife left him.

So good for you OP, because the behaviour you were subject to in that bar did not come from nowhere. It will not have been an isolated incident.

All the 100s of women sympathising with the 'poor man' on here - more fool you.

Behaviour she was subjected to 😂 What an overreaction. It was a drunken comment FFS. And if you read back from the start no one was actually condoning his behavior and agreed that his comment was inappropriate.

What people have objected to is the witch hunt the OP has been on to get this guy reprimanded and approaching his place of work. Which most have seemed a complete overreaction and not something worth this guy getting in trouble at work for.

RealEagle · 02/05/2025 20:39

This is a bullshit thread

HuffleMyPuffle · 02/05/2025 20:41

turningpoints · 02/05/2025 20:39

Also, for all the people weirdly outraged that OP complained ...

If your husband was a teacher, who went out to a bar, approached a woman who he knew full well was a mum of a child he used to teach in a school he still worked at in order to tell her (totally unsolicited) that he used to fantasise about bending her over his desk to fuck her.....

Would you still be laughing?

Men have fantasies outside the marriage

So do women

He didn't actually DO anything

ScarlettOYara · 02/05/2025 20:41

HuffleMyPuffle · 02/05/2025 20:31

If he was saying this in school then there would be an issue

But you're making shit up again 🤣

Show quote history

Also, people don't realise that schools have changed since 1994 or whenever. That behaviour isn't put up with anymore. Women staff don't go "oooh, what can you do", they report.

CaptainMyCaptain · 02/05/2025 20:41

turningpoints · 02/05/2025 20:21

I bet there's more than a few female teachers in that school who know exactly what he's like OP, and will be celebrating with you.

Celebrating what? Nothing has happened.

Feelingleftoutagain · 02/05/2025 20:43

Hmm, sorry to burst your bubble, seen similar situations in schools, where the complaint goes to Governors and yes they generally give out the same answer that you received. Teachers get drunk and say something stupid, they are human after all, are you saying you've never done something stupid?

JasperTheDoll · 02/05/2025 20:43

turningpoints · 02/05/2025 20:39

Also, for all the people weirdly outraged that OP complained ...

If your husband was a teacher, who went out to a bar, approached a woman who he knew full well was a mum of a child he used to teach in a school he still worked at in order to tell her (totally unsolicited) that he used to fantasise about bending her over his desk to fuck her.....

Would you still be laughing?

Who says the teacher is married?

HuffleMyPuffle · 02/05/2025 20:45

Feelingleftoutagain · 02/05/2025 20:43

Hmm, sorry to burst your bubble, seen similar situations in schools, where the complaint goes to Governors and yes they generally give out the same answer that you received. Teachers get drunk and say something stupid, they are human after all, are you saying you've never done something stupid?

I think we can all see OP has done something stupid 🤔

CaptainMyCaptain · 02/05/2025 20:45

JasperTheDoll · 02/05/2025 20:43

Who says the teacher is married?

Show quote history

The OP stalked him on Facebook and saw a picture of him with a woman. It doesn't prove he's married of course.

HuffleMyPuffle · 02/05/2025 20:46

JasperTheDoll · 02/05/2025 20:43

Who says the teacher is married?

Show quote history

Well when OP stalked him on FB he had his arm around someone's waist and she "probably wasn't his mother" 🤣

YourAzureEagle · 02/05/2025 20:53

HuffleMyPuffle · 02/05/2025 20:27

They've apologised that she FEELS she wasn't heard

Aka "we aren't admitting anything or apologising for what happened but we are sorry you feel that way"

No right minded HT of CofG would apologise for what they actually did because it's admission of guilt

Show quote history

Spot on, its a non apology apology for a non complaint - they just want to shut the OP up, if they thought there was any validity in such a complaint the OP would hear very little, the teacher would be suspended and referred to the TRA, but that's not the case - the teacher will have been warned by the head that this parent is a protractor short of a maths set and to be careful around them.

If the head really felt there was an issue, it would have to be escalated and then no apology would be made pending the outcome of the investigation.

The only victory here exists in the vacuum between the OPs ears!