9 year old girls and skincare obsession

[AgnesTeaHouse]

At the start of the school year DD9 was talking about one particular girl in her class who was always talking about her skincare routine, bringing out products and using them in class and talking about her mini skincare fridge etc. Seems this has really taken off and now all the playground chat for the girls is about what products they are all using. These are not cheap products and I was reading many of them contain retinols and other things damaging for kids. My daughter was invited to a birthday party where the party girl has requested “expensive skincare” as a gift! DD is feeling isolated as she (probably influenced by me) thinks it’s all a nonsense but I can tell the peer pressure is weighing on her.
Why on earth are we allowing 9 year olds to feel as though they have to conform to beauty standards? Feels like misogyny by stealth…
AIBU to think the parents here are entirely irresponsible for indulging their kids in this and are setting their daughters up for a lifetime of obsession with their appearance?

"AIBU to think the parents here are entirely irresponsible for indulging their kids in this and are setting their daughters up for a lifetime of obsession with their appearance?"

A hundred percent. Its all the girls talk about in their group chats and I can't understand why their parents allow this and don't encourage more wholesome interests, it's so so sad and demoralising for such a high proportion of girls to be so preoccupied with it.

It's incredibly depressing.

Kids have always had crazes, but skincare seems particularly insidious as it's likely to lead to a lifelong obsession. As opposed to like pogs or tamagotchi which I'll be honest, don't take up much of my time or money anymore

I have a nine year old DD. The skincare thing is from TikTok and is unbelievably depressing. DD has no social media but says other girls in her class talk constantly about Sol de Janeiro, Brazilian Bum Bum Cream etc. I know a lot of girls start developing a bit of interest in makeup and their appearance at this age, but these are products formulated for adult skin which nine and ten year olds have absolutely no need to use. If parents of youngish kids would just say no to bloody TikTok it would solve a lot of problems.

It's absolutely crazy, a friend of mine who also has a 9 year daughter is buying her P Louise everything for her birthday... my 13 year old DD is still sat playing with slime! 😅🙈

I'm not sure it's misogyny by stealth, I'd say it's more like most things these days... Money. The beauty companies want to get these girls hooked on their products young and have them for life

Marina Hyde was very interesting on this on The Rest is Entertainment. Both on how Sephora go about their marketing to children and how she's reacting herself as the mother of a young girl. Episode from 17 December last year.

DD is 7 now and isn't talking about skincare yet but I'm conscious it's probably close and I'm dreading it.

Parents need to start parenting, stop allowing access to TikTok and the like and start saying ‘no’. It shouldn’t be a negotiation. Day after day there are posts on here about hugely overindulged children where the parents are determined to be their child’s friend rather than mother, father or caregiver. Teach resilience, not consumption.

Stupid parents being stupid, basically. Outsourcing their parenting to social media channels that no 9 year old should be on.

If you get on well with the class teacher I would have a word. At the very least perhaps the school could add a note to their weekly newsletter pointing out that TikTok has an age limit and no one in school should be using it. Or something similar. Probably won’t make much difference but could stop the rot with one or two kids.

@Ddakji I was actually considering approaching the school about it. They have been very good recently on banning mobile phones from the classroom and not allowing phone use during school hours so there is some precedent for social intervention…but this just feels like parenting failure and I’m not sure the school can do much about that?

would be keen to hear if anyone has ever approached their school about this and how it was received…

No, they can’t but they can remind parents of the age restrictions on social media. Because the kids can’t create these accounts for themselves.

I would also perhaps ask the school if they could do an assembly discussing why social media is restricted, how addictive it’s designed to be etc.

It’s disgusting parents are buying products with retinols, etc for children that young. It will damage their skin and is parental neglect.

We are going to end up with age ratings on Skincare products because of these parents.

I mean I was REALLY tempted by a furby in Smyths toys the other day 😂

Absolutely agree with this.

There are phones in your daughters primary school?!

That's so sad. My daughter is 9 and she and her friends are all very much still young children who act like it.

Parents who allow their primary aged children access to TikTok and then support them to follow age inappropriate trends are so irresponsible.

When I was around 9 all the kids were into Tamagotchis (I never got one though) so clearly we weren't immune to marketing trends but at least it was a bloody toy for children!

Awful parenting and marketing. Get them off social media. Get them playing in the mud and climbing trees.
DD14 luckily thinks it's all a load of bollocks. She does the odd thing for her spots but other than that hasn't been sucked in. Some of her friends have though and it's awful to see the obsession with skin and looks. We are anal about SM and feel like we were right at this moment in time.

This.

I don't understand why any of these kids are being allowed access to tiktok/youtube to even find out about this shite.

I would certainly approach the school. At the very least they could prevent children from bringing these things to school and getting them out in class.

They couldn't police playground chat and it's unlikely they could influence the irresponsible parents even though their actions are harming the whole peer group and not just their own children.

But they could perhaps do some work with the children on the harms of social media and why there are age restrictions, plus getting them more media savvy so they can recognise when they are being manipulated by companies that just want money and don't care about their wellbeing.

Its depressing and feels like we are going backwards

The crazy thing is my DD18 is spending less money on skincare than a 10 year old because the marketing aimed at young kids has put her off! She has some nice makeup (and a PT job to pay for it) but her skincare is all basic hypoallergenic brands from the pharmacy.

Surely the school can put a stop to kids getting skincare products out during class time!

I imagine the mum is Katie Price/Geordie Shore/TOWIE type. Yuck. Poor kid.

I have a nearly 10 year old and somehow her class has remained impervious to this trend so far. My 11 year old’s class, however…
Like your daughter, she is a bit nonplussed by it all. Someone bought her some Bubble skincare for her 11th birthday and it’s just sitting on a shelf.

It seems to be a new trend or something, my 11 year old daughter is always going on about it but I've told her she doesn't need those products and they are for adults not children, the most I allowed her to have was a lip balm but there are girls in her class that are using face masks and creams and allsorts I don't understand why it's a thing.

My 11 year old has got the dreaded teenage acne so I'm quite pleased there is such a range of skincare out there and that she has an interest in it. No, I don't let her use retinol (don't even use that myself) and nothing too expensive either but there's nothing wrong with them having a bit of sol de janeiro bum bum cream if it makes them happy

It’s just poor parenting really. That’s the summary of it. Allowing your 9 year old to be influenced like this into something that puts so much pressure on ADULT women is just not ok.

Not sure what you mean? Loads of children get a phone in primary school. At our school they have to put them in the phone box at the start of the day so they can't use them during the day.