9 year old girls and skincare obsession

[AgnesTeaHouse]

At the start of the school year DD9 was talking about one particular girl in her class who was always talking about her skincare routine, bringing out products and using them in class and talking about her mini skincare fridge etc. Seems this has really taken off and now all the playground chat for the girls is about what products they are all using. These are not cheap products and I was reading many of them contain retinols and other things damaging for kids. My daughter was invited to a birthday party where the party girl has requested “expensive skincare” as a gift! DD is feeling isolated as she (probably influenced by me) thinks it’s all a nonsense but I can tell the peer pressure is weighing on her.
Why on earth are we allowing 9 year olds to feel as though they have to conform to beauty standards? Feels like misogyny by stealth…
AIBU to think the parents here are entirely irresponsible for indulging their kids in this and are setting their daughters up for a lifetime of obsession with their appearance?

We had a letter home just before half term to say children are not allowed skin care products or lip balms in school under any circumstances. Y4 DD has been telling me for a while that children were getting told off for bringing full cases of skin care into school and trying to mess around with them in class. I didn't really believe her until one of her classmates dropped her bag in the playground and the amount of P Louise products that spilled out was insane. We've also had a letter home about school iPads and inappropriate website access during lesson times and during after school care. DD reports it's mainly groups of girls visiting the P Louise website!

I can tell you're one of those parents so there's no point in engaging further

Insulting and being right are two different things.

FYI The smiley face is no where near the killer blow you think it is.

Shit parents don't say no often enough.

I knew you were going to say that. I am not actually, I don't care much about beauty product because the outrage on this thread is hilarious.

But of course, do not have a discussion with anyone who completely disagree with you, that would be a waste of time!

You are confusing lazy parents, and parents who say yes about things you personally disagree with.

Now you can call shit parents anyone who parents differently than you if that makes you feel better, it doesn't make you right. 😀

My niece just turned 11 and asked for skincare. I refused to get her anything for the face so bought her some Sol de Janeiro body lotion - it was £30!
I’ve never spent that much in my life.

I considered showing her all the videos about how their creams attract spiders but thought that would be too mean 😈

That's it thought, isn't it? You're showing her things that are harmless. It's when supervision is lacking that it becomes a problem.

That’s ridiculous. Other than sun cream, 9 year olds don’t need any form of skincare, let alone a routine.

I have a 9 year old & she loves bath bombs & nice smelling shower gel/shampoo and lip balm because she gets dry lips/it tastes fruity. Nothing linked to her appearance.

My niece is 10 and has been interested in skincare for quite a while now. My sister won’t allow her to buy Drunk Elephant etc. due to the active ingredients (and the price!). She is, however, allowed moisturiser, which is appropriate for her age.

That way she is able to indulge in her hobby, whilst it being safe for her young skin!

It is important, because the message it gives girls is that the most important thing they can spend their time on is being decorative. What are they not doing while they are thinking about expensive skincare? That's capitalism in action, making them feel inadequate so they buy more stuff, for life.

There's also an equity issue. This isn't a thing at DC's school, which is lower income. 25 quid is a good proportion of the week's food budget. If kids are being unpleasant because others don't have the 'right' products, they're essentially being bullied for being poor.

It's bonkers the school had to actively ban phone use in class! There's not a single primary near us where you don't hand it to the teacher in the morning. Sounds like the school needs to do some serious work around the internet and social media.

Ok…reassuring that so many people in agreement…I just wish that was reflected in the kids at my (nice area, highly rated) school. These parents are indulging a potentially dangerous trend. I totally remember playing around with my mums makeup when I was an tween and heading for the clearasil when I hit teens and started getting spots. This however feels much more sinister- deliberate targeting of skincare products to pre-teens. Creating a dependency on what they perceive to be essential products and sowing the seeds of body image doubt in 9 year olds. Am hoping the next inane trend is something less psychologically and potentially physically damaging

My daughter is 10 and is interested in skincare. She has some bubble and byoma SPF, some lip balms etc
She also does soccer, gymnastics, piano, swimming and yoga. She loves reading and art. She still plays with her dolls occasionally but is moving beyond those now.
It's not one or the other for most kids and I think a balance is best.
She chats with her friends about skincare and lots of other topics too....
I have taught her to look at skincare ingredients, we check products on the yuka app etc and she knows she doesn't need retinols etc so she wouldn't even ask.
If it's a sunny day she brings SPF to school in her solar buddy.

I think if a child is interested in something it is important to listen to them, meet them at their level and not diminish their interest as "silly". My daughter doesn't and won't have tik tok or snap chat though and I have explained why to her.

I do not consider her interest to be physically or psychologically damaging.

My daughter who is 12 does not use skincare. The most she uses is vasleine for lipd and aveeno for dry skin once a month or more. She is not evem allpwed lip gloss.Her bestie loves skincare and perfume and even takes it to school with her.

It's not even just them. Any parent that's under the age of 40 and has social media won't see bad in this skincare regime.

It's sad but probably the reason you see loads of empty jars for sale on vinted - because I imagine a lot of the parents perceived as giving in are just decanting cheap plain lotion and treating it like imaginative play.

My friend’s 11yo DD and her school friends are like this. Obsessed with Sephora masks and lip treatments.

Her DD has no social media access but soaks up all the details from her friends and of course wants to fit in, especially at a new school.

Friend and I have discussed how scary it is and how many of these products have hormone-disrupting ingredients.

I hope my almost 9 year old niece isn’t into it but her parents are quite sensible so wouldn’t allow it.

Thank goodness I have escaped this . These kids skincare regime is more intense than I would be arsed with . The most practice thing we used to do was try to brush our hair 100 strokes! Usually bored after 20. I am not that particularly old but we couldn't wait until Sweet Sixteen when you could maybe use lipgloss and certainly nothing at school.

I think too much makeup with false eyelashes ,pumped lips is so ugly even on grown girls . I fear it will become the same for even younger and they will end up looking like American beauty pageant kids .