9 year old girls and skincare obsession

[AgnesTeaHouse]

At the start of the school year DD9 was talking about one particular girl in her class who was always talking about her skincare routine, bringing out products and using them in class and talking about her mini skincare fridge etc. Seems this has really taken off and now all the playground chat for the girls is about what products they are all using. These are not cheap products and I was reading many of them contain retinols and other things damaging for kids. My daughter was invited to a birthday party where the party girl has requested “expensive skincare” as a gift! DD is feeling isolated as she (probably influenced by me) thinks it’s all a nonsense but I can tell the peer pressure is weighing on her.
Why on earth are we allowing 9 year olds to feel as though they have to conform to beauty standards? Feels like misogyny by stealth…
AIBU to think the parents here are entirely irresponsible for indulging their kids in this and are setting their daughters up for a lifetime of obsession with their appearance?

@PeggyMitchellsCameoyou should do an AMA!

You’ll find a bunch of likeminded people if you join a local WhatsApp group for SFC. Lots of parents voicing the same sorts of concerns. The focus is on delaying smartphone use, but one of the big reasons is to get children away from social media, for reasons like this
https://smartphonefreechildhood.co.uk

I had no idea that this was an interest for 9 y.o girls, very damaging.

I remember my sister going to a pampering session 25 years ago, difference between then and now is that they just spent time making their own masks out of yogurt and cucumber instead of using Drunk Elephant or whatever they use now.

DD7 is occasionally allowed nail varnish, but it's childish colours only. At after school club they have a hair and makeup kit and sometimes she comes home with bright pink glittery eyeshadow and braided hair. Obviously done by a fellow clubmate. Would it be my first choice of activity? No. But the girls love it, especially on a rainy day.

It is awful. My DD turned 10 in January and at her birthday party I could hear two of the girls telling the others about their “5 step skincare routine”, I couldn’t believe it!
I really don’t know what some parents are thinking. My DD has face wash and a basic fragrance free moisturiser, she only has that because her skin gets quite dry in winter.

The ‘limited participation’ approach is where I’m at with my yr5 DD. So a fancy lipgloss from P Louise as a one off treat, sure, why not? A full on 8 step adult skincare routine? No chance. She doesn’t have a smartphone or social media so isn’t exposed directly but she picks stuff up from other girls which she is then curious understandably curious about

You would think but all the mums who let their kids do this (and therefore ruin my dds life as she’s not ‘cool’ now AT NINE YEAR’S OLD) are terribly nice, upstanding members of society: solicitors, nurses, media execs, TEACHERS… all ‘little Emily wants a spa party/makeover party/pedi party in an actual salon, you know how they are!’ Tinkly laugh. Yes, I know how you’ve ruined them for craft parties and run around parties.

One very pretty little girl came (whose mum is LOVELY) came to my dds party like a little 40 year old beautifully dressed doll, all beige matchy matchy and makeup and accessories. Not as dress up, as normal. sat like a doll too ‘don’t mess up my outfit!’

My child has never ever seen fb, Snapchat, x, or TikTok. Has very occasionally seen a few insta posts about gardening over my shoulder.

Oh, please. I became interested in skincare, perfumes and beauty when I was 5-6...it has nothing to do with society's beauty standards, it's perfectly natural for little girls to be interested in these kind of things. It's equally normal for some girls to have no interest in it. Both are okay. Beauty, makeup, skincare and perfumes are still things I immensely enjoy...couldn't care less what society says about it.

However, it is crazy to give a child access to retinoids and expensive skincare.

Yeah joint watching some funny cat videos or whatever isn't the same as letting 9yo access tiktok alone and watch beautytok or etc!

Yes this. But it’s not enough, I bought a cheap Sephora lip balm for dd when we passed a Sephora on holiday, thinking ‘surely that’s the middle ground’. Nope, apparently they look down on her for not having Summer Friday lip products? Er, I bought my mate a summer Friday lip balm for her 50th, it was £25!!

I saw a skincare tutorial video thing earlier done by a girls of around 9/10. Complete with full make up, fake lashes etc at the end. So odd. I was still riding my bike around all day at that age

This is so sad. I think girls like this existed in my day but it was more trying mum's makeup and it was only a few girls.

Op is awful isn't it, it's the new craze after Trans swept through schools.

It’s normal for little girls to want to play with mummy’s lipstick and nail varnish in a dressing up sense,, but not really to want to actually want and use skincare products.

A 9 year old is using her skin care products IN Year 4 ish Class? Nope, didn't happen.

insulting someone when you don't agree with them doesn't really help your point 😁

Are you being very naive?

According to posters on this thread, it's new and never heard before that girls might enjoy lipstick and nail varnish , it's just lazy parenting 😂

Why would anyone care if little Charlotte from the class is putting on day cream when you are covering your own kid in suntan lotion? Falling over each other to be offended, shocked, horrified by it is ridiculous.

Are people miffed some people spend more on skincare that they can afford?
I don't, I have other priorities, but the superior outrage on this thread is cringing.

Nope. I work in a primary school and there is no way a 9 year old would be not seen applying her potions during class!

There's some mums that love the whole 'mini me' thing, 'we're besties' This is just an extension of it.

@Exitpursuedbygeese (great name btw!) I get it, we’ve had similar and I was really open with DD and told her those girls will probably keep picking on her, even if I buy all the stuff! The just transfer it to something else she doesn’t have, or “isn’t” in their opinion. It’s so tough

I don't think you know what we're all talking about.

Skincare can mean different things though. An 11 year old having a ‘skincare regime’ that consists of using a face wash and a facial spf is just washing their face and protecting their skin, which is what they should be doing. But a kid that age putting retinol or exfoliating acids on their skin is obviously completely inappropriate.

Re brands, Drunk Elephant is stupidly overpriced and in my view a bit crap anyway. But Bubble and Byoma have some really good, gentle products which are no different (and no more expensive) than Cerave, which everyone seems to think is fine.

This happened to DD1 when she was this age - so I told her she could have some as it is important to look after your skin, but that it had to be suitable for young skin. I got her some gel cleanser from elf and a bubble moisturiser for less than £20 altogether and encourage her to wash and moisturise on an evening as it sets her up for having a good routine/hygiene as she becomes a teenager and will probably start getting greasy skin and spots! She was desperate for something drunk elephant as her two best friends had some so she used some birthday money to buy herself a lip balm.

No, you are right. The OP should absolutely contact the school and complain about parents buying their child expensive beauty products and hosting "pamper sessions" as birthday parties, and demanding an instant ban on any discussion about face cream and whatever skincare topics they have.

I am sure the headteacher will be over the moon to deal with this.

I am not 100% sure what you expect him or her to do exactly, but go for it.😂