To think this is overkill ?

[AdderJagfa]

The context to this is I was 9 years old and it was the no man’s land time between Xmas and Nee Year - so let’s say around December 29th?

I had a mad crush on a boy at the time and I wrote a letter and rang someone’s doorbell I knew 2 streets away and gave it to the woman of the house who had kids roughly my age - I’d signed letter with the boys unusual surname. I wrote another letter and signed it with a completely different surname

After i delivered the letters I walked home knowing I’d made a huge mistake

That evening my doorbell rang and the husband and wife from the house in question were both at the door with the letters in hand and came into speak to my parents

I got a huge telling off and dressing down by my parents and felt very mortified and embarrassed about the whole thing. There was such a bad atmosphere in the house I actually begged for the cleaner to come the next day 😭 - but she didn’t cos Xmas hols

Just to say the content of my letters wasn’t in any way rude or offensive

AIBU to think the adults in this situation went too far?

No idea but why are asking now?

cos It’s always affected me

I should imagine that your parents were probably mortified that these people turned up on their doorstep , I don’t quite get who you delivered the letters to and why you did so but the people you delivered them to were obviously not happy

How long ago was this?

I rang their doorbell and delivered them to the mother of the house who had kids roughly my age - around 1-4 years older than me. The mother didn’t read the letters when I was there

This is an odd thread. What did the letters say? Do you mean that you were pretending to be this boy and writing to someone completely different? If so, a telling off was probably appropriate as that's not okay.

So you wrote a letter to the boy, but took it to a different house, not the boy's house? Did you think they were going to pass it along?

I think the context of the letters are really important here op in order to establish if it was overkill or not

You dropped off letters that you pretended had been written by the boy you had a crush on? And then another letter that you pretended was written by a random, unknown, person?

Also, what constitutes a huge telling off? What did they say? Were you grounded or anything?

What was your intention?
Why is the cleaner relevant?

Your OP is a bit confusing, who did you deliver the letters to and what was their relevance to the letters? And why did you do it? Motivation is relevant i think.

This is all very confusing 🤪. I can’t understand what happened at all 😆

Can't you sleep tonight OP?

Very confused what was in the letter

Obviously what you wrote in the letters is relevant to the story. It’s confusing as to who you wrote the letter to and from? More info needed to be able to say what a reasonable response was.

I'm on medication and I can't drink alcohol, such a shame as I think it might help...

Me neither. Why was OP writing letters to these people? Why did she sign them with her crush’s name and someone else’s?

Doesnt make sense.,

Maybe she signed it with her first name and his last name, like they were married?

Regardless, OP, a telling off from when you were 9 really shouldn't be affecting you as an adult. Have you talked to anyone about this?

Oh yeah, possibly. I didn’t think of that.

I once sent a letter to a crush - I was about 13 or 14. It was the summer and my family were all working but I was at home alone.
I got a GIGANTIC case of remorse and called the post office and described the letter and his address and she actually had it in her hands and she let me go in and pick it up.
So I rode my bike downtown and got it and never put anything into writing again.

When she was 9, OP had a crush on a boy. That boy had an uncommon surname.

She wrote a letter, and signed the letter with the boy's surname.

Then she took the letter and hand-delivered it to another family who lived two streets away from her own house, and who had children the same age as her.

She also wrote another letter, signed with a completely different surname.

The parents in the family two streets away came to the OP's house, brandishing both letters.

The OP got a huge bollocking.

It isn't specified, but presumably the second letter was delivered to the same family as the first, as the parents brought both letters round to the OP's house that evening. But we don't know to whom they were addressed. At a guess, they were childish love letters, supposedly from the boy in once case, addressed to the children.

So you did something stupid and got a bollocking? That's life I'm afraid. It's never nice to be called out but if you ignore boundaries you're going to hit a wall at some point. Not sure what the cleaner has to do with it.

Perhaps it would have been nice to have an adult in the house who wasn't furious with her.

I’ve read this a few times and I really don’t understand it at all.

I don’t know if I’ve got it wrong but I’m understanding it as -
OP wrote two letters and signed them with two different surnames, one of the surnames was the same as a boy she had a crush on.

She took the letters to a random neighbours house unrelated to her or the boy she had a crush on and gave it to the woman who lived in the house who also has children.
The woman would have known and recognised OP and probably questioned why she had either signed the letters with different names or if she was just delivering them for someone else. It might have appeared OP was delivering the letter on behalf of the boy she had a crush on?

This woman accepted the letters and didn’t read them until later, whatever the contents were (and OP said she regretted it straight away so I’m assuming there must have been something at least a bit dodgy in them?) they were enough to upset these neighbours to both come and speak to OP’s parents. Her parents didn’t laugh or shrug it off either and were angry enough to tell her off and then carry on being angry/annoyed enough it left a lasting atmosphere, this was also at Christmas when people are usually a bit more forgiving.

Without having any kind of clue why OP wrote the letters or what was in them it seems impossible to have any real understanding or know if any of the adults in the scenario overreacted, the fact OP is still upset and thinking about this makes me naturally assume that the contents of the letters must have had caused some upset (intended or not) and that’s why OP regretted it straight away and is still affected by it?

I am obviously deeply overthinking this!

I have terrible insomnia due to peri menopause and came onto mumsnet to try to wind down enough to fall back asleep, this thread has now confused me enough to want answers after trying so hard to make sense of it. I’m wondering if this was OP’s aim in a “misery likes company” way, she can’t sleep because she keeps going over it and now has others also staying awake to try to figure it out 😂. It’s like the spare bedroom thread that still pops into my head!

Does anyone think they actually understand it?