Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Worried about the spiraling costs of attending wedding

100 replies

naomiy · 29/04/2025 16:29

My childhood best friend is getting married next spring and the costs involved with attending are already started to scare me financially.
Its at a rural location, involves any overnight stay the night before. Early morning wedding, so not practical to get there "on the morning". Need to be there the night before, realistically speaking. I don't drive atm (health issue). So would involve hiring a taxi. The location is near a forest, about 40 miles from where I live. Gorgeous place but a pain to reach without own transport... No public transport links. No other guests are able to offer lift as all will have their cars full.
Then there's the cost of an outfit, gift and getting home in a taxi. I'm guessing it would be at least £500 :( I'm a single parent, low income and really worried. Opting out of the wedding isn't an option. She's my best friend and I know she'd be at mine (if I were to ever marry).

OP posts:

MidnightPatrol · 29/04/2025 16:33

Not sure why it will cost £500…?

Taxi there and back on same day.

Do you have an outfit you can reuse? Or look on vinted?

Is there a premier inn or similar?

Original poster

naomiy · 29/04/2025 16:35

Guests are staying at the venue... I'd be the odd one out if looking elsewhere for a Premier Inn :(.

OP posts:

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 29/04/2025 16:37

If it's only 40 miles away then a taxi there and back on the day would be cheaper than staying overnight.

nomas · 29/04/2025 16:59

naomiy · 29/04/2025 16:35

Guests are staying at the venue... I'd be the odd one out if looking elsewhere for a Premier Inn :(.

So what? Everyone has different budgets. Nothing wrong with a Premier Inn.

Can you share a taxi and room with another single friend to cut costs?

comoatoupeira · 29/04/2025 17:06

Could you make a homemade gift, and explain? And get a dress from Vinted, or borrow one from a friend?
I agree, taxi there and back seems the cheapest option.
I can't believe there are NO guests with a space in car for getting there.

TimeForTeaAndG · 29/04/2025 17:12

40 miles is surely not more than an hour travel? How early does a wedding realistically start that still allows the bridal party and groom etc to get ready beforehand?

comoatoupeira · 29/04/2025 17:19

I hope you don't mind me being blunt, but it seems to me that the 'barriers' are being put up by you, and I would be asking myself what it is about this wedding and this friendship that is making me so negative about the whole thing?
Weddings are, by nature, not very practical to attend, because of getting dozens of people in a beautiful place on a set day at a set time.

Comedycook · 29/04/2025 17:22

If you can find a cheaper hotel or b and b, just do it..who cares what other people think.

Don't buy a brand new outfit... recycle or borrow something...if you must buy a dress from vinted...some stuff goes for only a couple of pounds.

Shoxfordian · 29/04/2025 17:24

If you can find somewhere cheaper then stay there or pre book an early cab and one to pick you up. Doesn't need to be super expensive

CoastalCalm · 29/04/2025 17:24

Taxi morning of the wedding £50
Dress £50
Gift £50
Taxi home in the evening £50

That would be my budget , wouldn’t care what people thought about not being in the hotel night before and your friend will be so overwhelmed with everyone else she won’t be fussed

Barrenfieldoffucks · 29/04/2025 17:25

naomiy · 29/04/2025 16:35

Guests are staying at the venue... I'd be the odd one out if looking elsewhere for a Premier Inn :(.

That doesn't mean you can't do it, it means you don't want to. Very different.

Slurple · 29/04/2025 17:28

naomiy · 29/04/2025 16:35

Guests are staying at the venue... I'd be the odd one out if looking elsewhere for a Premier Inn :(.

You've got to compromise on something if you want to attend the wedding and stay within your budget. The question is, what will be be?

MsFogi · 29/04/2025 17:31

If she genuinely is your best friend (so you 'have' to attend) then she will be fine with you getting a taxi there and back (not staying the nights), not giving her a present and wearing something you already own/from Vinted. If she is not someone who will accept this or who you can talk to about this, she is not such a close friend that you have to attend the wedding.

UnbeatenMum · 29/04/2025 17:33

Can you get a train part of the way and then get an Uber or taxi a shorter distance? Also definitely reuse an outfit or check out charity shops or Vinted/eBay.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 29/04/2025 17:34

naomiy · 29/04/2025 16:35

Guests are staying at the venue... I'd be the odd one out if looking elsewhere for a Premier Inn :(.

Beats not going and letting your friend down.

Neveragain35 · 29/04/2025 17:34

Agree with taxi there and back, and start looking on Vinted etc now to find an outfit you like. I got a gorgeous Nobody’s Child dress on Vinted recently for a wedding for £15.

Your friend won’t care about an expensive wedding present, maybe just choose something thoughtful but inexpensive you know she would like.

BankHolidayBonanza · 29/04/2025 17:36

Where does the nearest public transport stops? Can't you take a taxi from there to the venue?

Guests are staying at the venue... I'd be the odd one out if looking elsewhere for a Premier Inn :(.
who cares? No one is going to check you in your bedroom anyway. It's a total non-issue. People won't even notice or care.

What would YOU prefer to do? Staying before and after? Or coming straight home?

FoFanta · 29/04/2025 17:37

I wouldn't want to stay elsewhere either. You have until next Spring so it is feasible to start saving now. Set up a different account and aim to stash a tenner a week in there, and just forget that if is there. You might be able to save by shaving things off your weekly expenses or some weeks generate income by selling something/cat-sitting/baby-sitting. If you want to go, then you want to be able to fully relax and enjoy participating in it, so the more you can save throughout the year, the less pressure is on you closer to the time.

Weddings are expensive to attend - it's rubbish, but it is the way it is. It sounds like it is important to you to attend so I hope you can find a way.

toomuchfaff · 29/04/2025 17:42

I've gone with YABU. Because you're slating any and all good suggestions.

You need to prioritise what is important to you, and what you are willing to spend money on and that means forgoing some stuff.

If its important to stay at the venue - then accept the cost and drop something else.If its not, then look at other options, - lifts there and back, uber, sharing a room, etc.

Outfit - this can be made less expensive by Vinted, or wearing something you already own or can borrow.

Gift - that cost can be dropped right away simply with an explanation to the Bride, "You're wedding is costing me a huge amount to attend, I can't afford to get you a gift as well as the hotel, accommodation and transport" - most bridesmaid would say your presence is the gift, if she doesn't- that tells you a story.

Make a choice about what elements of the wedding is your priority to fund. Drop the rest.

Coconutter24 · 29/04/2025 17:42

naomiy · 29/04/2025 16:35

Guests are staying at the venue... I'd be the odd one out if looking elsewhere for a Premier Inn :(.

That’s your choice though. You either spend the money on the venue or choose to not feel like the odd one out and stay somewhere cheaper

SharpOpalNewt · 29/04/2025 17:46

I'd love to know where you can get a taxi 40 miles for £50! I live four miles from the local town and taxis cost £15-£20.

I'd find out who else is going, get a lift and offer petrol money.

isthismylifenow · 29/04/2025 17:47

You seen to be making excuses not to go.

What time is the wedding? You absolutely don't have to stay over for a 40mile trip. 400 miles maybe I could understand.

Shinyandnew1 · 29/04/2025 17:47

Guests are staying at the venue... I'd be the odd one out if looking elsewhere for a Premier Inn

Why would you need a Premier Inn? Get a taxi there in the morning! I've got taxis at 7am for work. I presume the wedding is later than 8am!? Get a taxi home that night. Dress from Vinted, £30 gift.

£500-no!

BreakingPoint555 · 29/04/2025 17:48

So what's your plan then? Get a taxi, or stay in a hotel you can't afford and moan about it being too expensive? Wear a dress you've already worn/buy second hand or buy a new one and moan about it being too expensive? Buy a modest heartfelt gift or get a fancy one and moan about it being too expensive?

Do you actually want to go to the wedding OP?

TheFormidableMrsC · 29/04/2025 17:49

I think I’d be talking to your friend and saying you’re really struggling. She can’t be blind to that surely??

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread