To shriek from the rooftops that there is No Such Thing as “preferred pronouns”?

[Ddakji]

That’s it.

They don’t exist - any more than preferred adjectives, adverbs or nouns exist.

Even people who don’t like them still seem to think they exist.

Language is a shared, collective endeavour that belongs to all. It’s not a pick’n’mix for individuals to choose and change at will. For words not to be garbage they have clear definitions - in this case she for females, he for males, they (singular) for sex unknown.

Saying my preferred pronouns are she/her, even if that doesn’t fly in the face of reality, is no different to saying my preferred species is human, my preferred adjectives are sporty and lush.

It’s nonsense. Nothing to do with being kind or they don’t affect me, or I don’t mind if others do but I won’t. It’s nonsense.

Let’s make 2025 the year we kick this nonsense into touch.

I don't think I could call a transwoman she/her, I think I would compromise and use they/them. Or perhaps I would use their name. That way everybody wins. Nobody is offended or hurt.

I've never heard someone calling someone a man to their face when they're clearly female, even with incredibly poor language skills. I'm sure it could've happened.
But the fact remains that it does exist as a concept, if it didn't then bio men would be fine with being branded female and bio women would be cool with being referred to as a bloke.

Happy for people to tell me what they want me to call them. Esp if it ain't obvious.
Absolute hard no at being asked to put mine on anything. More so in a professional setting.
Used the hard no at my current employer. The never mentioned it again.

Because pronouns aren't used by an individual, but someone talking about them; it literally involves you telling me his to falk about you,regardless of my thoughts,feelings,or perceptions.

i have an issue with this ‘be kind’ mantra. We Never ever use it in any other situation do we?

do you give away all your income to the less fortunate to ‘be kind’?

do you always give up your seat on public transport to ‘be kind’?

it really grates on me that it is only used in this one specific situation in order to make people do something they feel uncomfortable doing.

"Such a shame that there are still plenty of women who would be happy with a female victim of rape being forced to use the “preferred pronouns” of her rapist in court, and deny that that is abusive"

It's a real shame you made a different argument to the one you wanted to make in your OP.

This has aged badly in hindsight

" I would think they were quite stupid or didn’t know English very well."

This isn't the only time it's used. The whole be kind campaign started on social media after Caroline Flack killed herself because of internet bullies.

Ok.

It’s not about what they call themselves, it’s the fact that they’re expecting others to use them. I won’t call a man she.

But that was connected though - it is where it started. don’t be mean on social media which was then used to silence anyone who disagreed as being unkind

It seems this is still very pertinent, as well as a good read:
"Pronouns are rohypnol"
fairplayforwomen.com/pronouns/

Why do we women have to set ourselves alight to keep transwomen warm? I just think people should have the freedom to use or not use preferred pronouns.

Live and let live. Nobody ever spontaneously combusted from not being called their preferred pronoun. It's hardly life and death.

Same here. That's lying. Lying is bad for your sense of integrity . It could affect someone's mental health being made to lie. That's why this demand for pronouns is unfair. It could affect the person being made to use the pronoun negatively whilst the one demanding the pronoun being used goes on their merry way.

I have preferred pronouns.
I prefer the correct ones ie he for males and she for females.
I refuse to be part of someone else’s delusions.

Don't use them then. I will continue to use them. Shrug

Well no one is bullying anyone by not using preferred pronouns, so it's not comparable to Caroline Flack's situation. Also CF was a suicide risk, different scenario. So no, we don't need to "be kind" and bend over backwards to appease a few TRAs. Nothing bad will happen if we don't "be kind."

As much as I roll my eyes at preferred pronouns on emails, especially when it's people who are clearly either male or female and the preferred pronouns match their sex, obviously preferred pronouns exist. I would argue preferred adjectives also exist to an extent

My lovely Turkish friend does! She often uses she/her for my DS. Her English is pretty great too but this remains a blind spot for her.

Has the situation actually happened to you or are you frothing at the mouth about a hypothetical?

I've worked in HR in several large organisations and never actually come across this situation

You can call yourself by whatever pronoun you want, just so long as you remember that it does not give you the right to correct me when I call you by whatever pronoun I want.

YANBU.

To be fair the transpersons I know are not about imposing pronouns on anybody. They don't get upset if the preferred one isn't used. I suspect most transpersons aren't bothered much either way as long as they feel free to identify as they chose . I suspect what is going on is a loudmouthed and very vocal brigade of TRA types getting offended on behalf of minority groups. I've seen it with race as well. White Europeans being in a tizzy about cultural appropriation. Most people of colour don't care how we we wear our hair!

I've come across one transperson in the workplace in my time. He's female to male, has a pregnant wife, looks like a man, probably just a bit shorter than your average man. All the preferred pronouns people are obviously the sex that is the same as their pronoun so I don't really know why they bother. That said, I've no idea why it causes op such angst

are you seriously saying that the only people say to ‘be kind’ is in relation to the trans community?!

Don’t be kind then, you clearly aren’t!

I am kind. I would simply use they/them if a TW asked me to call them she/her. That's not bullying . That's me holding a boundary for my own mental health (actually been in hospital due to suicide and self harm issues) and being respectful that they don't want to be called he/him. That way both of us are happy.