To shriek from the rooftops that there is No Such Thing as “preferred pronouns”?

[Ddakji]

That’s it.

They don’t exist - any more than preferred adjectives, adverbs or nouns exist.

Even people who don’t like them still seem to think they exist.

Language is a shared, collective endeavour that belongs to all. It’s not a pick’n’mix for individuals to choose and change at will. For words not to be garbage they have clear definitions - in this case she for females, he for males, they (singular) for sex unknown.

Saying my preferred pronouns are she/her, even if that doesn’t fly in the face of reality, is no different to saying my preferred species is human, my preferred adjectives are sporty and lush.

It’s nonsense. Nothing to do with being kind or they don’t affect me, or I don’t mind if others do but I won’t. It’s nonsense.

Let’s make 2025 the year we kick this nonsense into touch.

One of many on MN. 🤦‍♀️

Please highlight the warped part or sneery part?
Also what actually is a trans person? (You know not the bit where I'm supposed to pretend anything goes that is said under a wide 'trans' umbrella, but the reality?)

Google might help. @Enough4me 🤔

I won’t call a man a woman because that’s lying. It’s also deeply disrespectful to me and other women. Our sex is not a costume and our lives are not live-action role-playing.

A man has no more right to demand that I join in his pretence that he’s a woman, than he has to demand that I clean his shoes or provide any other service.

I won’t call women men either. But they are generally less aggressive and demanding, so less offensive.

@StepAwayFromGoogling said it perfectly.

But what do you think?

It is factually accurate to say regardless of how silly it sounds . My preferred description of myself could be a certain way when talking about personality, nicknames or pronouns etc. That doesn't mean others should be obliged to follow it, but having a preference is clearly not a disputable thing.

Alternately, you could find an actual problem to worry about.

That's just it, preferred pronouns don't relate to what they 'call themselves', it's how they expect others to regard them when talking to others.

So someone who goes by they/them pronouns, will expect ME to use those pronouns in conversation with others. I personally think referring to one person as THEY is one of the most idiotic things I've ever heard, so being compelled to do this would absolutely bother me, yes.

But, shoe on the other foot, how would you feel if someone refused to refer to you the way you wanted?
Wouldn't you be offended? Feel bullied? iyswim

If a transwoman would like to be referred to as she/her, why wouldn't you be respectful enough to use those pronouns?

For me personally, it would be because, first and foremost, I respect myself before I respect anyone else, and that involves being honest always.
So, to put it simply, if the person in question is obviously male, I wouldn't betray myself by saying otherwise.
I'd say the easiest thing to do, in this instance, is use the person's actual name (if you know it!) or job role (if you don't!). So 'the salesperson advised me' etc. This way, I'm not going to offend them - or myself!

I'm obviously female, so totally happy with people assuming my gender.

That's not what I mean. What if you were referred to as they/them, or he/him despite your correcting the person/people? What if they just told you they didn't agree with calling you she/her because it was stupid?

If it's something obviously false, I don't have the right to compel them to say something that isn't true.

If someone kept getting my sex wrong, I'd be bemused, but not offended. It would just be quite strange.

But I'm not trying to be different. The default pronouns for women are she/her, so unless they're trying to pick an argument that's what they'll call me.
You're talking about someone wanting to be referred to as something/someone they are clearly not. That's a different thing entirely.

Obviously false according to who? You? What if I refuse to call you what you think is obviously true? It's not that simple when we take a person's feelings into account.

My point is, that opinion is no longer universally held. I suspect it won't be long until you're the one trying to be different. I think "default pronouns" will likely shift to they/them.

According to fact and reason. If I want you to call me Napoleon, I've no right to compel that.

If you refuse to call me something that's obviously true, then you'd look silly - that's up to you.

People's feeling need to be able to deal with facts.

Not what you said. As well you know.

If someone called me they/them, I'd ask them why as it's factually inaccurate.

It is very disrespectful of the trans woman to expect me to lie.

Respectfully, that's nonsense. There are over 8 billion people in this world. For the vast majority of those people he/him and she/her is and always will be the default setting.

Precisely.

I'm not sure how many languages have gendered pronouns though. Chinese doesn't in spoken language so that may be enough to scupper your vast majority. The other two I know of are Japanese and Turkish.