To think there’s a dereliction of duty if a child gets to 5 years old and doesn’t know how to brush their own teeth?

[TheCandidGoldJoker]

By the time a child is 5, shouldn’t they at least have the basic habit of brushing their own teeth? Of course, parents might still need to supervise and check but surely it’s part of raising a child to teach them fundamental self-care skills.

I’ve seen cases where kids start school without knowing how to do it themselves and I can’t help but feel it’s a bit of a failure on the parents’ part. Or am I being too harsh?

Lots of kids appear to be starting school unaware how to wipe their bums either.

I’m trying to remember when my DC started brushing their own teeth but can’t.

Certainly I remember the dentist’s advice was to keep supervising until age 8.

So I don’t think it would be surprising still to be brushing your child’s teeth for them at age 5. 5 is pretty young and tbh you’d end up redoing most of it.

I definitely brushed my children's teeth for them at 5 but I'm sure they would have had a go too.

Not harsh, they should be in the habit of doing it, even if parents still have to check (my DS's dentist said they will need checking until aged about 8). But understanding that they need to brush their teeth with toothpaste twice a day is essential.

I think brushing teeth, especially if checked by an adult afterwarss, is easier than using cutlery, and schools expect 5 year olds to be OK at cutlery.

They can do it, many don't do properly at 5.
I brushed my children's teeth until they were 7. They can do it but not good enough.

This feels like a parenting decision. As long as someone is brushing their teeth adequately, I think it's fine if the child isn't doing it themselves at the age of five.

I was told I should be brushing my child's teeth til age 8,obviously they have a crack at it themselves first, but then I would do them too.
Dds aged 19 and 13 and no cavities between them 🤞

I agree by 5, it should be something they can do fairly independently, with an adult checking they are doing it correctly.

Both mine (3 and 7) know it is part of their morning and bedtime routines. They need a reminder most days but will then go and do it themselves (both can put the right amount of toothpaste on the brush) I then check they’ve cleaned them properly and with the younger one, give them a good clean myself at the end at least once per day.

My four year old saw a boom for the first time yesterday. She tried to swipe it instead of turning the page, thinking it was an iPad. They’re getting dumber and dumber these kids

I’m not sure here, my four year old could brush his teeth but I wouldn’t trust him to do it properly. I still brush them and then he has a go for the last 30 seconds and I think this is reasonable. I think having no idea how to do it at all by five would maybe be more of a concern

I think it's fine for a parent to still be brushing their child's teeth at 5. It's not something they will be doing at school on their own.

Is the issue their not knowing about teeth brushing, or not doing it themselves?

I don't think it always comes from lack of effort, but can also be an anxiety - worrying that they don't brush them well enough and teeth will be damaged, so think best to do them for them. It's not, they need to learn to do it themselves, but I can see how it happens. My 5 year old does the morning brush herself but I still do the evening one to make sure they get a really good clean at least once per day.

I’m a TA . It was nt unusual for several children in class not to own a tooth brush at all. Poor children had pain from decay with poor diets and sugary fizz which had already damaged the adult teeth underneath the milk teeth. It’s a poor state of affairs that these basic skills are overlooked. (Along with personal hygiene and using cutlery )

If you’re leaving your 5 year old to brush their teeth by themselves without going over them after, I very much doubt their teeth are properly clean.

Our dentist advises brushing for them until at least 8, children are not good at getting in all the nooks and crannies and it's one of the reasons you end up with children with cavities. DS knows how to and has a practice on his own supervised but we still brush them day to day

Know that it's a twice a day thing, the routine of doing it, and what to do? Yes.

Be trusted to do it adequately, for long enough, getting all of the teeth and not just spitting out the toothpaste immediately without supervision? Not by five. I still keep an eye on my seven year old to make sure she's doing it 'properly' and will give her teeth a few good swipes myself if I think she's missed bits.

I brush my 6 and 8s teeth for them, I've watched them do it themselves and even with lots of instruction and assistance it's just no where near as good as I do it. It's not something they 'need' to be independent in like toileting etc, as they're not going to be doing it without a family adult present at that age.

I meant more that by 5, they should at least know how to do it themselves. I get that parents might still need to supervise or double-check at that age but the basic habit and understanding should really be there by then.

Our dentist recommended “supervised brushing” until you’re confident your DC’s are doing an adequate job…….

I’ve also noticed it on social media when my algorithm gets confused and I get directed towards the “gentle parenting” side of Instagram…..which 9 times out of 10 isn’t remotely resembling gentle parenting at all, it’s usually permissive parenting where the child rules the roost, but I digress 🫠🫠 More often than not, I see in the comments section people talking about teeth brushing like it’s an optional thing for their child 😳
And I’m stunned.
It’s always been a total non-negotiable thing in my house. DD1 went through a phase where she was kicking up a fuss over it when she was little and it was a case of either she does it herself or I put her in something of a headlock and do it while she’s screeching 🤷🏻‍♀️
Not ensuring your child has good dental hygiene is neglect.

Our dentist recommends parents brushing for them until at least age 7, they do not have the manual dexterity to do it themselves adequately before then.
We brush DS7 and DD4's teeth then they have a turn afterwards.

They can have a go but I thought parents should do most brushing till 7 or 8 years as kids don't do ot well enough. I say this as someone who is otherwise keen for my kids to be independent; they are out of nappies and dressing themselves and putting their own velcro shoes on aged 2.

I brush my 5 year old's teeth. She knows its important. I'm a bit fanatic about teeth hygiene. I let her try sometimes but I know she won't clean them properly. We do a "you have a go and I'll check them" but the check I do is basically brushing them from scratch.

It's not like she's going to go anywhere where I'm not there to brush them for a few years- not like toilet training!
My 9 year old brushes hers fine. So I don't think what I'm doing is going to results in a child who can't brush their teeth.

Needlessly judgemental.

My dentist told me to keep brushing the kids teeth til they were about 7, as they don't have the coordination to really get it.

I still brush my 6 year old's teeth. He has a go but not as thoroughly as I would like, or for as long. Our dentist said to just do it myself until he's 7 or 8, and to keep an eye even after that.