To think there’s a dereliction of duty if a child gets to 5 years old and doesn’t know how to brush their own teeth?

[TheCandidGoldJoker]

By the time a child is 5, shouldn’t they at least have the basic habit of brushing their own teeth? Of course, parents might still need to supervise and check but surely it’s part of raising a child to teach them fundamental self-care skills.

I’ve seen cases where kids start school without knowing how to do it themselves and I can’t help but feel it’s a bit of a failure on the parents’ part. Or am I being too harsh?

Bravo @spring252.

There are plenty of parents who are hot on the values of “independence” mostly because they actually can’t wait to shrug off the responsibility.

I'm assuming you mean book.
How is that your child's fault that they've never seen a book before the age of four?

The other option to try could be to brush with just water to start then see if you could smear some paste (like the oranurse I said before or anything they can tolerate) around after? Might be a different sensation to brushing with it.

The other thing you could try is tooth mousse? It’s not really a toothpaste as such but can be used in these circumstances. It’s not suitable for everyone (made with a milk I believe) so check it first. But it’s a different texture to toothpaste. It’s more often used for children/adults with high decay rates or those with extreme sensitivity. It comes in a big variety of flavours. I used to smear it all over my teeth after doing whitening to help with sensitivity. You don’t rinse it out.

My kids are a bit older so my memory is hazy, but we certainly supervised until 8. Somewhere between 4 and 6 it went from me starting and them “finishing off” to them starting and me “finishing off”. By 7 it was more about asking if they had brushed their back teeth and watching them do it.

Not even having your own toothbrush is total neglect. How awful for the kids. Dental pain is the worst.

@Mukey that sounds exhausting, solidarity x

Hmm. I voted YABU. I suppose I have another 2 years but with my 3 year old son, he used to hold the brush and 'do it himself' but he no longer does. It isn't from me not trying! I always offer him to have a go but he has no interest. It's only my best interest to keep his teeth clean and healthy at this point, so I'll do it the only way he is happy with for now. We are supposed to help them until they no longer need the help and that will be a different age for all children, as with anything- potty training, etc.

Have you tried Holland and Barrett? They have low foaming sls/sles free toothpastes, it's the sls/sles ingredients that make the foam. I've had their own brand, pretty sure it was mandarin flavoured and low foaming.

Or google for more options, there's definitely versions out there.

I was quoting @Needspaceforlego who needs the help . She’s the one who has the terrible time. I’m just trying to help. 🙂

I’d keep trying different ones (the textures can really vary) but brushing thoroughly with water is absolutely better than not getting a good brush in. Perfect can be the enemy of good.

I have an ND nephew who would fight for his life against being brushed until they found the right paste - for him it’s Tanner’s Tasty Paste in orange or chocolate. And of course using a teeeensy amount, just the barest smear and reapplying midway through if needed. I’ve also found it helps to set up so that they’re above you looking down. It’s natural with kids to tilt their heads back to look up at us a bit and that’s going to mean any excess saliva and toothpaste end up in the back of their throat. My youngest stand on a dining chair.

Hang in there. Sometimes these simple, mundane things are the biggest struggles because it feels like it shouldn’t be so hard and yet we have to battle through it every single day.

Try oranurse toothpaste. It’s non foaming a flavourless.

My child's only two, so I have no idea whether or not I'll still be brushing them for her at five, but I do know my priority would be that they are brushed properly. If she can't do that at five, I'll be doing them.

This has got to be a piss-take, surely?

My understanding is also that parents should be doing it until at least 7

Following NHS guidelines - which say that parents should brush the teeth until age 7 - is not feckless or irresponsible.

www.nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-teeth-and-gums/taking-care-of-childrens-teeth/#:~:text=Start%20brushing%20your%20baby's%20teeth,2%20minutes%20with%20fluoride%20toothpaste.

No it’s not rocket science; but children come in all varieties. Some manage rocket science before manual tasks.

Patience is a thing where child development is concerned.

Teeth need to be thoroughly brushed. Many adults don’t actually do it properly - possibly because their parents passed the baton on at 5.

@Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa & @GravyBoatWars

Thank you both. I swear I've gone through all the mainstream brands.
I will try the ones you've suggested.

Thanks ill try there too i didn't notice your message earlier.

No, children should not be brushing their own teeth until 7.

If you look there, make sure it’s a fluoride one as a lot of them aren’t

My dentist says to brush teeth for children until 7. I still do my 6 year olds and no I don’t think I’m being feckless - I’m following the guidance of a professional and standard NHs advice. There are plenty of other ways to learn independence.