To think there’s a dereliction of duty if a child gets to 5 years old and doesn’t know how to brush their own teeth?

[TheCandidGoldJoker]

By the time a child is 5, shouldn’t they at least have the basic habit of brushing their own teeth? Of course, parents might still need to supervise and check but surely it’s part of raising a child to teach them fundamental self-care skills.

I’ve seen cases where kids start school without knowing how to do it themselves and I can’t help but feel it’s a bit of a failure on the parents’ part. Or am I being too harsh?

We did our kids teeth for ever such a long time - can’t remember when we stopped but mid-late primary I suspect. By 6 they have adult teeth. That is it then. They won’t get any more. Once a tooth gets a hole it is problematic forever. Cleaning teeth properly is difficult. Many adults don’t do it correctly. At 5 ds thought he was a superhero. He liked to tell stories about flying through the ceiling and going to fight baddies. He was arguably not the most reliable of people.

When they get to be teenagers you still have to nag and remind. But no way of checking they’ve done it properly (I am a demon for sleuthing around the bathroom and noting dry toothbrushes and toothpaste tubes with the lids still on). Eldest always loathed it - very sensitive to smell and taste with an over active gag reflex. Fun

My dentist said I should brush their teeth as long as they would let me. With DD2, she still lets me at 10 and I'd rather do that than rely on her remembering every surface if every tooth. She does her own sometimes, but I do at least once a day, usually twice. I doubt I will be doing it at 18, so I'm sure she will cope as an adult.

I suspect there's more tooth decay in children who brush their own teeth from 5 than those who start brushing independently later.

Of all the things to wory about being independent, this seems unimportant. It's hardly on the school readiness list.

This, I thought you were meant to brush their teeth until about 7 or 8 as they can't do it themselves. Same with wiping their bum. My DC could do both by 2.5, but not well! As an isolated incident I wouldn't think too much of it

My teenager has recently got the hang of doing it. The joys of dyspraxia and Sensory Processing Disorder.

The important thing is that it's done (and in some children with difficulties, even just attempted on bad days).

If they can do it young, that's fabulous. But not all children were created with equal dexterity.

So I’m another one whose dentist advised that children have their teeth brushed until at least 8. His professional opinion is that children can’t really know ‘how’ to do it before then, because they don’t have the dexterity to do it properly themselves.

But I also don’t think a child’s reluctance to do something (or do it properly) is always an indication that they’re not expected / haven’t been taught to. My dc knows that their reading book is a nonnegotiable. We do it every night, and have since they brought their first one home in reception. He’s year 3 now. The expectation has been set. At least half the time his first reaction is similar to the one would expect if I was sending him down a mine. I wouldn’t consider it a parenting failure, because my husband and I ensure it’s done properly whether dc wants to or not. Much like teeth brushing, I’d only consider it a ‘failure’ if we allowed him to get away with not doing it / not doing it properly.

Our dentists advice was for a parent to do it until age 8! So we do it for them - they obviously know how to put the toothpaste on etc and that we do it twice a day but I do the actual brushing

Another one here whose dentist advises brushing for your kids until they are around 8 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don’t see any issue with it to be honest. DS is aware that we need to brush twice a day and why we do it. I brush his teeth and then he has a go at doing them himself. They also brush independently at nursery so get more practice there.

Hes 4.5 and uses proper cutlery, can fully dress himself including buttons and jacket zips, and can use the toilet and clean himself reliably.

When I told the dentist my (then) 6YO was brushing his own teeth (which were in very good condition), he said that we should brush them for him until he was about 8. It made no sense to me as the dentist had already commented on how clean his teeth were, so clearly he was doing a fine job himself, but I took the dentist’s advice anyway for maybe a week or so before getting bored of it and going back to just supervising.

My 1 year old takes a toothbrush and although he attempts to chew it, it’s part of our evening and morning routine.

At 5 it should be part of routine with parents checking and helping where needed.

For the pre-bed brushing at least we still do the majority at that age based on the dentists' advice - they have a go if they want then the adult (or teen sibling) brushes thoroughly. Recently #6 has decided turnabout is fair play and #7 joined in, so those two have also gotten to take turns brushing DH or my teeth some evenings.

There's no particular need for a five year-old to be able to brush their teeth independently because it's not a task they need to do regularly in settings without a trusted adult there helping. The priority at that age is setting the habit, maintaining healthy teeth & gums, and building neutral to positive attitudes towards oral care.

My 5 year olds teeth would be falling out of his head if I let him brush them himself. He has a go but I basically still do it (and tbh still have to help his older brother). Dentist said we should still be doing it til 8ish as they don't have the dexterity (or frankly the will) to do properly themselves.

Not a chance would I have let my DC brush their own teeth at 5, supervised or not. In fact remember being quite shocked when we stayed with friends with children the same age who let their kids brush their own teeth and would privately consider it quite neglectful if I'm honest. I brushed my children's teeth AM and PM until around 8, then left them brush their own teeth in the morning but I carried on with a thorough nighttime brush until pretty much the end of primary? Three DC and no cavities.

That said, I would have expected them to be able to have a crack at brushing their own teeth if asked at a very young age (well before 5). If a 5 year old literally has no idea how to brush their own teeth I would be concerned it was because no one was brushing them full stop.

Thank you. Was reading in anticipation of this comment. Op, judging children as young as 5 is vile. It doesn’t matter how much you teach my dyspraxic 5 year old, his arms and hands won’t move in that way. Shame on you.

I still brush my kids teeth - 7 and 5 - and will carry on doing it until they fight me off. They are both capable of doing it themselves, and the 7 year old does theirs in the morning but at night, I'm in there like a ninja. Teeth are too valuable, I'd rather do it for them for as long as I can.

At home wedo supervised brushing, kids have a shot and then we finish off. But my 3 and 4 year olds are both expected to brush thier own teeth at school nursery. Toothbrush and toothpaste with thier names on were supplied by the nursery. A nursery teacher takes groups of 3 at a time and supervises, and they have done lessons on how to brush teeth. The attached primary school apparently does super used brushing at lunch for p1 to p3 as well. I'm not sure how normal that is, but the school catchment has 50% of children in SIMP 1-5 so it's a very deprived catchment. The nursery has dentist visits every 6 months too. On an ad hoc basis, the nursery teacher commented how well they both do thier teeth. From the children, it sounded like several friends had no idea what a toothbrush was ordered how to use it.

Official advice is parents brush til 7

Well if you have ever taken a child to the dentist, you will know that they instruct you to continue brushing your child’s teeth until the age of 7… or until they can tie their own shoelaces. So as a parent of the current times, if you told me your 5 year old brushed their OWN teeth, I’d be thinking that you weren’t doing a great job as a parent there…

I suspect the op was trying to say the children should recognise a toothbrush and how to use it, even if parents were helping/supervising the brushing. From the school nursery aged 3-5 1/2 my children attend, it sounded like 25% or more of the children had no idea what a toothbrush was or how to use it. Even if a parent is still brushing 2 x per day, the children should understand toothbrushing by 5.

DD is 5 and brushes herself in the morning before breakfast with an electric toothbrush. I brush them in the evening.

Know that it’s a twice daily routine. Yes.
Know the idea, have wafted a toothbrush around their mouth. Yes.
Be vaguely competent at it - No.

It’s not common to have that level of combined gross and fine motor skills at that age. It’s harder than writing and we don’t expect children that age to be able to write well.

It’s not can’t, it’s won’t. I remember one of mine older than that, sent to wash her hands, would splash water on the floor and mess up the towel without actually washing her hands. I used to think, the trouble you’ve taken to make it look as if you’ve washed your hands, you might as well have done it! Some of them are just stubborn (and apparently allergic to personal hygiene).

I was just going to say that while a 5 year old probably does know how to brush their teeth, their parents should still be doing it for them.

As with the other commentators my dentist says we need to keep brushing (or going over ) our five year olds teeth until they are older as it’s very coming for younger kids to not brush properly and miss back teeth. I still do my sons and he is five. He does have a go but hasn’t quite got the dexterity to do the back ones properly.

I was a dyspraxic kid, undiagnosed as it was the 90s and thankfully my mum supervised and/or helped me brush until about 7.

Not sure what the OPs point is? If they mean an adult should be making sure the 5 year olds teeth are brushed properly at least twice a day and the 5 year old is getting a chance to practice doing it themselves so one day (be it in 1 or 5 years) they’ll be able to do it well enough independently - fine.

But if you’re saying all kids should be able to have sufficient dexterity and the mindset to do it properly by 5 I disagree. Some will but it’s understandable that many won’t. Hence dentists advised help with brushing continues well after 5.