To think there’s a dereliction of duty if a child gets to 5 years old and doesn’t know how to brush their own teeth?

[TheCandidGoldJoker]

By the time a child is 5, shouldn’t they at least have the basic habit of brushing their own teeth? Of course, parents might still need to supervise and check but surely it’s part of raising a child to teach them fundamental self-care skills.

I’ve seen cases where kids start school without knowing how to do it themselves and I can’t help but feel it’s a bit of a failure on the parents’ part. Or am I being too harsh?

I could say the opposite 😬Parents being too lazy to brush their 5 year olds teeth can lead to dental problems in the future… (I don’t really think this btw but in my family I just don’t trust my children to do a sufficient job as my youngest isn’t capable.

My just turned 7 year old still doesn’t have the dexterity or inclination to brush her teeth properly. So I let her have a go but I always finish (do 90%)

whereas my other 8 year old does and I trust her to do a good job.

I think it’s down to the individual child. Poor teeth brushing in childhood can cause issues later in life.

I would say that not teaching your child about the concept of dental hygiene and not showing them how to brush their teeth under supervision by the age of 5 is neglect.

Our dentist said children should not be brushing their own teeth until they can tie their shoe laces, which is (according to her) typically around 6. So obviously they can have a go, but a parent should still be doing it for them.

Agreed. A 5 year old won’t do as good a job as an adult.

My kids always had a go then I would go over them again.
I completely agree though they should know we should know we brush our teeth twice a day and how to do it by five. But still need supervision until they are a bit older.

I brushed my kids teeth most of the time until they were about 7/8. They knew what to do but couldn't do it well enough to be responsible for it.
We'd do disclosing tablets at weekends so they could make sure they cleaned all the surfaces.

This

Thank you I'll have a look.
I'm currently using sensodyne kids but he still hates it.
It's exhausting knowing every single day starts with a fight.

My dentist always says to brush children's teeth until they're at least 7 or 8, because they can't do it properly themselves before that. Obviously, get them to have a go, so as to learn, but you still have to do most of it for them.

As someone with ruined teeth because tooth brushing was something never done as a child and I was given sweets everyday, I agree with you OP.
If a child isn't doing it properly at five (it's still a bit little) though parents should do it or supervise.
Aside from a few health issues affecting teeth, tooth decay in children is neglect.

Dereliction of duty is way OTT.

That would be if no one was ensuring the kid’s teeth got cleaned at all. That happened to my Mum who had multiple teeth removed by the dentist in her teens and wore dentures her whole life. Her Mother got a bollocking by the dentist for never teaching my Mum to clean her teeth or making sure she did.

As long as a parent is ensuring the kid’s teeth are brushed twice a day, and that good habit is being formed, it’s not a dereliction of duty. It doesn’t really matter so much if they can’t afford to independently clean their teeth at 5 or 7 as long as their teeth are kept clean and healthy.

You could try Oranurse. I believe it’s non foaming and you can get flavourless as well which might help?

Too many feckless parents with no sense of responsibility because someone else will be pay, someone else will take care of it, someone else will own their choices. Pathetic.

People in general, and particularly on mumsnet seem to baby their children Mine were all independent in terms of getting dressed etc, but at age 5 I was still brushing their teeth for them on the advice of the dentist. Think I stopped age 7

They should be starting to try to do it themselves but as long as the parent is doing it it doesn’t matter too much, the bigger issue is nobody brushing teeth!

Can I say, as someone who's teeth were NEVER brushed as a child and consequently had ruined teeth before I even left school at 16, well done you. Keep up the fight (there was no fight with me, tooth brushing just wasn't something done in my family).

You’re deeming it feckless and lacking in responsibility for parents to brush a 5 year-old’s teeth for them? Really?

Personally leaving a 5 y.o to look after their own teeth is neglectful too, other than not doing them at all.

8 is the recommended age to ensure they can clean them properly cleaned.

Yes. Is it rocket science to teach your child to brush their teeth? Or do we now have to have classes and special awards for parents to do this stuff?

I think it’s more important the teeth get properly brushed to be honest.

All children have different skills. Some are brilliant with, say, maths concepts, but would not have the fine motor skills to do a decent job.

Personally I think it’s more a “dereliction of duty” ( though I think the term is overkill in this context ) to get the child to do it before they are ready.

Do you have children?

As long as the kids teeth are getting cleaned I don't know why it matters who does it.

DS was as yet undiagnosed dyspraxic (poor coordination) and autistic at 5. I don't remember if I was still cleaning his teeth at that age but if I was then I have no idea why anyone would have a problem with it.

OP you'd probably have been horrified that due to the undiagnosed dyspraxia he still dribbled a lot at that age. I also completely helicopter parented him as I felt he needed the support despite not being diagnosed till secondary school age.

He's now living away from home, doing a software engineering degree apprenticeship so I did something right somewhere.

Well, I want them done properly so I do them. I don’t see it as a dereliction of duty. She can brush her hair, wipe her bum, dress herself and countless other things but good tooth cleaning is really important. It is still part of her morning and evening routine. She is 6 so will probably start doing it herself soon.

A 5 year old shouldn’t be left to care for their teeth alone, it’s not developmentally appropriate and not recommended by dentists.

As I understand it, they don't have the manual dexterity to do a proper job of teeth brushing at that age. I still brush my daughter's teeth, but do also ask her to have a go while she's waiting for me to brush my younger child's.

Of course, if they're not getting their teeth brushed at all that is a huge issue.