Offended by friend’s comments about party food

[LinsMum22]

We hosted my friend, her husband and three kids yesterday afternoon. Our sons are in the same football team and we said we’d put some food on at ours after and watch the Liverpool match who they both support. My friend agreed to party style food being the best option as everyone could pick at it as and when.

Amongst other things, there was - Indian selection, tempura prawns, sausage rolls, mini pizza’s, mini sausages, chips, breaded chicken. So a good mix all from Iceland where we’ve had positive comments on the food before.

I could tell my friends’ youngest looked unimpressed when they tried one of the items, and pulled a face to my friend. She made no
attempt to get them to try another item and basically said ‘I know’. I noticed five minutes later she had barely ate anything herself either.

15/20 minutes later, the youngest moaned again and this time my friend said ‘don’t worry, we will stop at McDonald’s on the way back as I’m hungry too.’

I text her after they left to say sorry if they didn’t enjoy the food. She replied to say they didn’t realise it would be that sort of food and that they’d have got something else before coming round if they realised!!

AIBU to find this really snobby and ungrateful? The fact she then took the kids to get a McDonald’s makes no sense!!

It's footie in front of the telly with kids not a soiree 😁

Just for a different perspective slightly - I have done similar and it was nothing to do with snobbery. Our friends had put a really lovely picky dinner together (not a scrap of processed beige in a 100m radius), but I could see by the look on my daughter’s face that for reasons known only to her, she didn’t like it. I hissed quietly at her more than once that ‘I know’ but it wasn’t ’I know this food is awful’ it was more along the lines ‘I know you want to whine and moan but for the love of god just eat something and smile appreciatively before I lock you outside for all of eternity, or until you learn some manners’. Nobody would have heard (big house, and I chose my moments when nobody was in the same room as us) but if they did, it could well have been misinterpreted.

There would have been no forcing her to eat without it being even more obvious and I was genuinely mortified - the food was lovely! If I had been her here, the McDonald’s would have been because my little darling is a really lovely child at all times unless she’s hungry, and if she didn’t (for reasons only known to her) like the food, she would have been hungry. To keep her from spoiling the plans in a fiery pit of hangry despair, I would have absolutely promised a McDonald’s on the way home if she could just put it aside and be sociable in the meantime….

Exactly.

Sounds like they only started to complain when they spotted the Iceland packaging. That's just snobbery.

If OP had removed all packaging and said it was M&S, I bet they would've tucked in.

Pizza sausage chips. Chicken nuggets. Most kids love those

not so much Indian and prawns

she is weird

She can expect gold leaf edged caviar and organic sourdough rosemary scones, it’s still breathtakingly rude to criticise food that someone’s cooked for you. I wouldn’t speak to her again.

I would have appreciated some veg and dips, maybe a bit of salad personally. But what you promised, party food, is exactly what you delivered and nothing wrong with any of it. Even if I would have loved a cucumber stick, I would have happily eaten it and expected my children too as well, and we all would have said thank you for putting on a lovely spread for us. They sound rude and fussy. She’s setting a terrible example for her children.

She’s weird. I can be a bit of a food snob but Iceland frozen party food is perfectly good especially if that’s the type of food she was expecting.
My kids would have seen it as a massive treat!

Exactly. Many hosts would have provided sandwiches, crisps/nibbles, drinks and that's it, or else ordered takeaway pizza. The op went to more trouble than that and Iceland food is fine, absolutely nothing wrong with it - some of it is actually very good. I'm speaking as someone who does the rounds of the supermarkets depending on what I fancy.

I live on a Scottish island and we avoid the coop at all costs! They have a monopoly and are expoiting rural communities. They bully the bigger supermarkets that want to come here. Aldi and lidl tried to open but were rejected due to complaints from the coop. It's a disgrace!

Abigail's party.

I have to admit I haven’t lately! I must pop in! 🤣 When I was at uni (ahem) years ago, it was definitely not top quality haha.

nice to add some crisps and cucumber /carrot sticks and maybe French bread /part baked rolls

but does sound like she’s a snob esp if going to M for chicken and chips

very rude, I would be more than happy to eat that given I didn't have to shop for it, pay for it, lug it home and get it all ready. Iceland might not be my first choice if I was catering but it is good manners to show appreciation when others have gone the trouble to entertain you

There is no way I would go to a house and not bring some of the food. She was rude. They wanted a free dinner.

You need a second mortgage for a weekly shop in there! I travel 2 hours to shop at lidl and morisons and it's so much better!

It's the ultra processed beigeness that's off putting, not snobbery from where it is bought. Sainsburys and M&S sell shitty ultra processed sausage rolls too. I agree that people shouldn't be openly rude, and should not allow their kids to be rude, but forcing your kids eat crap for the sake of manners isn't right either. Normalising unhealthy food, saying it's OK to eat it so as not to offend, when you can just politely decline.

As a small child, part of my 'social training' - if you like - involved learning to keep my gob shut and my opinions to myself when eating at someone else's house.
I must only have been about 5 when I made a rude comment about an elderly aunt's home-made rice pudding .I still remember it now-as well as the ensuing fallout when we got home🤦🏻‍♀️😂

So mcdonalds is a healthy alternative...

Your friend was extremely rude and encouraged her child to be also. Whether or not she liked the food, you do not say something when someone is hosting you.

Im personally interested to know what her issue was - although this isn’t really the issue. I wouldn’t invite someone round again who had ever behaved like this to me in my home. The child is different - I’d tolerate one of my child’s friends being ungracious and still invite them again. But a parent who is supposed to be grown-up and civilised? No way - they can find other churlish, entitled friends to be unpleasant with.

I was a very fussy child, and I still struggle to eat fried food so I also would have not eaten anything.

But obviously not your fault and her response should have reflected that.

What I think of as party food is Parma ham and melon, a few salads, cheese board with chutnies and grapes, hams, hummus, tapenade, coleslaw, baguette, breadsticks, olives…a baked camebert…

I’m sorry 😔 I wouldn’t eat Iceland party food, but I would just fake that I wasn’t hungry and my kids certainly know not to be impolite.

but so very odd that she would go to McDobald’s afterwards… so I think she is a rude cow and don’t invite her back.

Iceland party food wouldnt be my choice but it I were being hosted by someone else and this is what they had supplied I would eat it and be grateful to them for supplying food. My kids have also been taught that if you are at someone else's house you eat what is put in front of you without complaint as anything else it down right rude.

Don't host them again and supply food. If you do it again go for a pizza takeaway and share the cost!

I would have loved to have come round to watch the footy and eat that buffet. Give me a shout the next time Liverpool are playing!
Seriously though, when someone has been kind enough to provide food for you, the correct response is 'thank you'. Every time.

I have reached a stage where I will happily scoff anything that I have not had to shop for , prepare and dish up, seems to taste so much better no matter what it is!

Iceland food is shit but so is McDonalds so I don’t get her response.