DH night out - aibu

[Brieagain]

6pm Sunday evening, kids bath time. DH says " Steves just been in touch. He's back for a few days...are you okay if we go out just for an hour about 7"

Sunday nights are quite precious to me / us as last chance for a peaceful evening before another mad working week. I work full time

Absolutely I say. Go early for an hour then we'll still have time to watch something together later etc

Steve duly arrives and off they go

DH got back 10pm, by which time I was flagging. Our kids are up at 6am so we're generally exhausted by then. He could not understand why I was pissed off

I have said I have no problem at all with them being out all evening it's just about being clear and fair isn't it. Popping out for an hour is not the same as I'm off out all evening . I wouldn't have minded, just be upfront

It sounds so petty now I type it but these are literally our only couple of hours in a day to chill.

@WiddlinDiddlin Or alternatively the OP could have acted like an actual grown- up rather than a child and just got on with watching what she wanted/ reading a book/ whatever. There are 52 Sundays in a year she can have "precious time" with him.

How often is he allowed out, poor sod!

How big is your supermarket. I can do Aldi and Sainsbury’s together in that time and be on the way to homebargains.

I’m popping out to the pub for an hour
<comes back in an hour>

Said nobody, ever.

Also “precious time” makes me want to barf.

sorry op YABU.

And unless the pubs next door, how much of that hour is getting there and back?!

@Brieagain I voted you are being unreasonable. His friend was back for a few days, he was gone for for three hours, he was back by 10pm, he did not come in at 3am drunk. I imagine they got chatting and as often happens time ran away from them, I doubt he intended to be out so long. I think the most you could ask is if this happens again and he's going to be later can he text you so your not waiting. I would of just enjoyed a nice quiet evening watching what I wanted or read a book. Don't make him feel bad about catching up with his friends

This absolutely!!!

When my DH just "Goes to Daves for an hour" I completely write off the evening.

If I were to sod off for 3 hours he would not be impressed.

OP I understand your wishes for a Sunday evening peace and just chilling together.

I think he was unreasonable to say such a specific time as clearly that’s not reasonable - it takes longer than that to get somewhere, get a drink and get home anyway. But you were unreasonable to sit there waiting for him. Enjoy the time to yourself next time and then plan a night out for yourself :)

Sounds to me like he was ‘downplaying’ how long he would be to appease you.

Me too!

I say ..parents need to keep up friendships it's important

All you wanted was him sat in front of thr tv...let him enjoy a pint with his mate

But… why? In a decades-long relationship why would anyone care that you’re out of sight for three hours?

A marriage like that would kill me.

I think you both colluded in the hour thing - maybe he knew that you wouldn’t agree to more than that and you were unrealistic in not questioning yourself that obv to go to pub get a drink and then get home does not happen within the hour

so you both set up this situation

Does her DH actually want this too though or is it just OP imposing this rule whether he likes it or not? Judging by the OP's controlling tone it is the latter. It sounds dull as ditchwater being forced to spend every single Sunday of the year copped up inside with the little family unit (vom) without any deviation from this arrangement whatsoever. Doing nothing but watching TV on the sofa, even when the weather is as glorious as it was this Sunday? I know I would rather go and meet my mate in a pub garden for a catch up than sit indoors on a lovely spring day watching family friendly TV!

No wonder so many adults are lonely if their other halves are so insecure that they won't allow them to meet a mate for 3 hours. OP should try out some new hobbies, occasionally meet up with friends herself, if she had something to look forward to perhaps she wouldn't be so reliant on her husband. Even taking the kids out for a walk/putting them to bed and reading a book with a glass of wine.