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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Was I wrong at this gig?

118 replies

NotabigdealbutWWYD · 27/04/2025 11:06

Not the hugest deal in the world, I think I was right, dp thinks I was wrong, and friends are about 50/50 so just curious as to what others think.

I was recently at a standing gig. Queued for a couple of hours to get in and get a good spot.

I'm not exactly tall myself (5ft 5") and managed to get very near the front.

About half way through this woman basically shoves me, I turn around and she pointed to go in front of me.

There was about 2 inches of space between me and the person in front, so I said "sorry there's no space", she pointed at the 2 inches of space and suggested I move back. I, politely at this point, refused, and she started shouting "but I'm small, it's not fair, you could see over me" etc. She was only about an inch shorter than me. It went back and forth like this for a minute.

I was pissed off by this point so I said it wasn't my problem and off she went after shoving me again and calling me a cunt.

I felt justified in the end because she was horrible, but dp thinks I should have just let her go in front, as do a few other people.

Should I have just let a smaller person go in front of me or was I right?

YABU - I should have let her go

YANBU - I was right not to move.

(I was with my DIL who is my height, but if I'm with my son who's 6ft 4" we do stand off to the side so I like to think I'm not an inconsiderate arsehole at gigs)

OP posts:

Coffeeishot · 27/04/2025 11:08

I think you were right not to move, she was chancing it.

giddyauntie123 · 27/04/2025 11:08

I think standing room gigs are a bit of a free for all - I don't think either of you were wrong

Coffeeishot · 27/04/2025 11:09

I'm shorter than you so I do get it but i wouldn't push in to see better,

Cornetto3 · 27/04/2025 11:09

Of course you weren't.

If she wanted that space she should got there before you.

LuvACustardCream · 27/04/2025 11:10

I don't think you were unreasonable at all. It's a nightmare at gigs for those of us who are shorter, but I would never expect to elbow in front of someone if there is no room.

cheesychipsontheoche · 27/04/2025 11:11

You were right. She wasn’t wrong for asking but should have accepted no. I say this as a 5ft 2 regular gig goer who will queue for a good spot. You have to plan ahead when you’re short or research the venue to know the best spots to stand for a decent view.

ThePoshUns · 27/04/2025 11:11

You were right. It’s the chance you take standing at a gig. I always seem
to endup behind someone tall with a beach ball sized head which is annoying but not their fault.

TourangaLeila · 27/04/2025 11:11

Standing gigs there are no "rules" I would have just shoved in front of you if that's where I wanted to be 😂

wantmorenow · 27/04/2025 11:13

Well done on not "being kind", ie female socialisation to put others first to their own detriment. You were not unreasonable.

Richandstrange · 27/04/2025 11:15

Nope, gigs are first come, first served and you queued early to secure your spot, I wouldn't have moved either. I'm 5'1" so always know I need to get there early if I want to see, so that's what I do!

Phoebepeeby · 27/04/2025 11:18

I’m short, you accept never being able to see well at gigs! Sometimes people offer to stand behind which of course is lovely but I would never ask! They have as much right to be there as I do.
I certainly wouldn’t physically or verbally assault someone just because they were taller than me!

HarpSnail · 27/04/2025 11:19

Richandstrange · 27/04/2025 11:15

Exactly. Getting there very early and standing around at the front by the barriers for hours is the ‘tax’ you pay for your better sightline, regardless of your height.

AllYouGottaDoIsJustMeetMeAtTheApt · 27/04/2025 11:21

Your partner and half of your friends think you should have moved? Weird. You were there first, there was no space. What if another hundred shorter people asked you to move? Do they think you should have let them all in front of you too? You did the right thing, she was being a cheeky fucker.

Gnarab24 · 27/04/2025 11:25

I had this happen at a gig, I was at the front and had a couple harassing me that I should give my space up for one of them. Completely unreasonable request. They’d clearly not been to a gig before.

TidyDancer · 27/04/2025 11:33

You weren’t wrong at all. There are unwritten rules at standing gigs and shoving someone out of the way just because you want to be where they are is extremely rude. My friend had this happen to her at a Bon Jovi gig many years ago. This bunch of twats decided they wanted to be right at the front so virtually assaulted her to get there. She gave them a mouthful but not much she could do when there were several of them. They were proper arseholes though. Someone pissed on one of them later. Unrelated to the earlier behaviour but quite funny in the circumstances.

Hastentoadd · 27/04/2025 11:37

NotabigdealbutWWYD · 27/04/2025 11:06

Not the hugest deal in the world, I think I was right, dp thinks I was wrong, and friends are about 50/50 so just curious as to what others think.

I was recently at a standing gig. Queued for a couple of hours to get in and get a good spot.

I'm not exactly tall myself (5ft 5") and managed to get very near the front.

About half way through this woman basically shoves me, I turn around and she pointed to go in front of me.

I was pissed off by this point so I said it wasn't my problem and off she went after shoving me again and calling me a cunt.

I felt justified in the end because she was horrible, but dp thinks I should have just let her go in front, as do a few other people.

Should I have just let a smaller person go in front of me or was I right?

YABU - I should have let her go

YANBU - I was right not to move.

(I was with my DIL who is my height, but if I'm with my son who's 6ft 4" we do stand off to the side so I like to think I'm not an inconsiderate arsehole at gigs)

If she had been nice about it I would have tried to let her in, but because of her rude entitled behaviour I would have said no as well, some people really don’t understand basic behaviour

I don’t react well to rude demanding entitled people and will rarely give them what they want

madeoftoast · 27/04/2025 11:37

I think you lost me at ‘shoved me!’ Had she of asked nicely then maybe - you absolutely did the right thing.

TrixieFatell · 27/04/2025 11:38

You weren't in the wrong. Standing gigs, if you want a good spot you arrive early. I'm really tall and will get there in good time to get a good view, have even been right at the front.

Gemmawemma9 · 27/04/2025 11:38

giddyauntie123 · 27/04/2025 11:08

I think standing room gigs are a bit of a free for all - I don't think either of you were wrong

You don’t think the other woman was wrong for shoving the OP and calling her a cunt??

ItGhoul · 27/04/2025 11:39

YANBU.

I go to a lot of gigs, and I’m short. I’d be annoyed if I’d made an effort to get a place at the front in plenty of time and then someone taller just barged through and shoved in front of me two minutes before the gig started, but it doesn’t sound like you did that at all. You found a spot and had no where else to move to. The other woman was being a dick and was probably drunk.

Fraaances · 27/04/2025 11:40

You should have said “Don’t fucking touch me again!”

OverpricedCupcake · 27/04/2025 11:40

You were right and I say this as someone who is 5ft.

Flamingnorahs · 27/04/2025 11:42

I've been in exactly the same situation and did the same as you.

TappyGilmore · 27/04/2025 11:42

You were there first. I’ve never heard of anyone being cheeky enough to ask someone to move!

404ErrorCode · 27/04/2025 11:43

She was entitled and rude.

YANBU in any way.

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