Was I wrong at this gig?

[NotabigdealbutWWYD]

Not the hugest deal in the world, I think I was right, dp thinks I was wrong, and friends are about 50/50 so just curious as to what others think.

I was recently at a standing gig. Queued for a couple of hours to get in and get a good spot.

I'm not exactly tall myself (5ft 5") and managed to get very near the front.

About half way through this woman basically shoves me, I turn around and she pointed to go in front of me.

There was about 2 inches of space between me and the person in front, so I said "sorry there's no space", she pointed at the 2 inches of space and suggested I move back. I, politely at this point, refused, and she started shouting "but I'm small, it's not fair, you could see over me" etc. She was only about an inch shorter than me. It went back and forth like this for a minute.

I was pissed off by this point so I said it wasn't my problem and off she went after shoving me again and calling me a cunt.

I felt justified in the end because she was horrible, but dp thinks I should have just let her go in front, as do a few other people.

Should I have just let a smaller person go in front of me or was I right?

YABU - I should have let her go

YANBU - I was right not to move.

(I was with my DIL who is my height, but if I'm with my son who's 6ft 4" we do stand off to the side so I like to think I'm not an inconsiderate arsehole at gigs)

We went to an airshow in Blackpool. We got there early sat down and waited. 2 mins before it was starting someone tried to get in front of me. I said excuse me I'm sitting here and you are in my view line please find space elsewhere or arrive earlier and get your space she then tried to move my son but he stood up for himself, and very politely that this was his space. She eventually moved but making comments about it.

Yes I do. No-one asked you to queue for hours
Not eveveryone can get there mega early anyway. Some people work.
If you want a good view and not shoved, seating would be a better option.

If you had been a 6ft 4 bloke and refused to let a 5ft 3 woman in front of you it would have been selfish or unchivalrous, but it still wouldn’t really have been wrong.

You didn’t do anything wrong and certainly didn’t deserve verbal abuse. You both paid the same for your ticket, she should just have got her place at the front before the concert started, like my 5ft 4” daughter does. Though she does have a 6ft 4 brother to help defend her territory…

saying this as a short person (very short at 5ft!) YANBU at all and she was a CF! This is exactly why I always go for seated tickets (when available) at gigs because otherwise unless I’m at the very front I can’t see anything. But I factor that in! I’d never expect everyone to just let me go to the front (if only!) because of my size!

One day, someone will give you a well deserved whack.

No harm in her asking, I suppose, but a bit pointless as there clearly wasn't enough space. And she was totally in the wrong being such an arsehole about it when you said no.

The moment she called you names, she lost her argument.

Wow, you sound like a delight or possibly the person OP is talking about? 🤔

And re your earlier post, do you actually think it's OK to push and shove other people so you can stand where you want to?

I suspect most people who go to a gig have to fit it in around work and other commitments, that's for them to sort out. Not remotely unfair for those who are able to arrive early to have a good spot - them's the breaks unfortunately.

And if you read the OP, properly, seating wasn't an 'option'.

I’m short and gigs are frustrating. I’ve just become accustomed to not being able to see the band, so gigs are about hearing the band while staring at someone’s back. Sometimes taller people notice and offer for me to go in front of them, which is always appreciated, but I don’t expect it. If it’s a band I’m really keen on, I’ll get there early enough to get a spot near the front but then I worry about getting squashed so there’s no easy answer.

Meh, I'm pretty sure that there was any number of men ranging from 5'9" - 6'5" also standing in the front row she could have been all teeny tiny at to get a space.

I've had women try to do it to me and get physical when I've not instantly stepped back for them, their two friends and usually a giant bloke in tow.

I’m short (a little over 5ft) and I’m amazed this woman hasn’t mastered the skill of gently weaselling and charming her way to a decent view.

And for those saying short people should arrive early/queue longer etc: it doesn’t always help. Taller people genuinely do just push in front of me regularly: my 6ft husband says it’s because they don’t see me, they are looking over the top of me, which has to be bollocks.

But OP hadn’t taken her eye off the ball… she’d secured her spot and there was no space for the ill mannered person asking.
I’ve seen this a lot at gigs and 99% of the time it’s women being expected to move or getting barged. Why is that…

We were at an outdoor gig, arrived early, quite near the front, by mid-gig the ‘ninjas’ and bargers had created dangerous overcrowding. To the point the band had to stop multiple times to move everyone back and security could pull people out.

My teen was getting crushed, I refused to let go of them even though a very kind, absolutely tiny woman in front offered her spot to us. Then a brilliant young man behind pointed out he was tall and blocking the path so no one else was getting near us. That’s good gig etiquette.

The gig was all standing or I probably would have gone for a seated option.

This didn't ruin my night at all, still had a great time, it was a few minutes of a minor irritation on an otherwise great night.

There was literally no room to push in anywhere, it was sold out and absolutely packed.

I think she was trying to squeeze further round and ask others to move for her after she left the bit I was standing in. I didn't see her again so who knows if she made it or not.

Glad to see the consensus is that I wasn't in the wrong.

Don’t be surprised if you end up getting a slap at a gig then with that attitude.

I think your actions were fair enough. She also declared herself to be the naughtiest hobbit in Hobbiton shortly afterwards and at this point there's no change she was in the right.

Myself and DH are avid gig goers, we average about one every two weeks - hardcore, punk, metal etc (so maybe a different crowd to you) and I’ve never been to a gig where people didn’t just shove everyone out of the way to get to where they want to be if I’m being honest. The exception being the barrier because people queue from early hours for this and hold onto it for dear life.

Standing at gigs is a free for all and there is usually no etiquette ime. I’m surprised she tapped you and asked to stand there because squeezing in would usually be the norm. It’s called unreserved standing for a reason. She shouldn’t have called you a cunt though.

@TappyGilmore I've only ever asked somebody to move once but I was very polite! This guy was about 6'3 and my friend is 5'. We'd been at the gig ages when he came and stood directly in front of her.

I tapped him on the shoulder and said 'Sorry for being cheeky but any chance you could swap with my friend? No worries if not!'

He was really apologetic as he hadn't seen her and swapped straight away.

I work. I also make sure i book time off to get there early. Not my problem if you arent organised enough to do so.
You aint shoving me anywhere.

Half the people you know think that the audience at gigs should politely sort themselves by height, with the shortest people at the front, and the tallest at the back? Have they visited our planet before?

I work. But I plan my life accordingly and take a couple of hours or so leave to get to gigs early. Working is not an excuse to be a dick

she was rude. not your problem she’s short. She could’ve asked someone else to move, but no she tried to make it your problem cause you are woman and she was betting on you being ‘nice’ or not wanting a confrontation.

I think you were right. I’m only 5 foot and don’t book standing tickets for this very reason. I don’t want to queue for hours to get to the front and then not be able to move to go for a drink/loo etc for the duration. If I can’t get seated tickets I don’t go. Simple as.

I had this once at a gig. A woman tried to edge in front of me and I didn't move. Her boyfriend then asked me to move, and I refused, saying I wouldn't be able to see. She then spent about half a minute shoving me with her shoulder, backwards and forwards. I still didn't budge. After that, she gave up and they both moved. Yes, she was shorter than me but I'm only about 1m 60 and me moving sideways would have meant I couldn't see anything. They could have asked any number of tall blokes to move, but of course they picked on a shortish woman, assuming I'd be easier to bully.

lol same! As a 5ft shortie, I assume taller people will stand in front of me even if I’ve arrived early because unless you stand nose to the edge of the stage, natural movement will just create that. So for free standing gigs, I’m just like an invisible butterfly 😅 gently easing in and out people whenever I see a little natural clearing whilst pulling my BF gently with me whom I always have to factor in so I’m careful not to be inconsiderate and shoehorn myself and him in. Unfortunately consideration is increasingly becoming a thing of the past 😑

He was really apologetic as he hadn't seen her

Fuck, I hate it when my husband is right.